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(Message started by: Karla on Aug 17th, 2004, 7:10pm)
Title: Update
Post by Karla on Aug 17th, 2004, 7:10pm
Life has not been easy for me the last couple of months.  My poor family has been through living hell.  Today I was officially diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.  It has hit me pretty hard.  More like a ton of bricks.  4 years ago I had a phycotic episode(hallucinate, delusional, hearing voices, paranoid, suicidal, etc.) and was hospitalized for a week until they stabilized me on an antiphycotic which made me feel doped up all the time.  One dr said I had sz but the other dr said I had depression phycosis.  See he said I had been severely depressed for 4 years over chronic ch and the never ending pain.  They basically said I couldn't handle reality, had a one time break down and that would be that.   Keep me on antiphycotics for a few years until the ha go away or are treatable and the depression passes.  Well I decided to go with the more optimistic dr.  My insurance changed and now I have a new phyc dr.  I explained the situation and he said since I was no longer in pain from ch due to pain meds and not depressed there was no need to keep me on the antiphycotic.  I agreed.  Main reason was I had been sleeping 15 hours a day every day for last 3 years.  I thought it was my narcotic pain meds causing me to sleep so much.  In March I quit my pain meds and my antiphycotic geodon.  I felt great!  No Meds! I was sleeping only 8 hours a day!  Yeah.  Then I started hearing voices.  Not good ones either and many of them.  I didn't say anything to anyone because I was afraid I would have to drop the college course that I had signed up for and be hospitalized again.  Well then I started thinking that my husband was having an affair on me and plotting to kill me.  I acussed him of trying to gas me in my office even tho the kids couldn't smell anything.  I left for a couple of hours.  Then I accused him of trying to poison me because he cooked supper and I got sick on it.  I wouldn't leave the house because I was sure the neighbors were spying on me.  I lay in bed with a knife under my pillow afraid he was going to try an kill me in my sleep.  It was so real.  My husband started catching on to the symptoms and had me talk to my phyc dr.  They had me start geodon back up even tho I didn't want to and didn't think anything was wrong with me.  I did it for love of my family.  2 weeks latter I am feeling much better and reality is a little more real today.  However I am sleeping 15 hours a day again.  So I studied up on the antiphycotic meds and decided I wanted to go on amblify which can cause insomnia.  Like a cluster head can't handle that.  lol.  He said, "I think you should try this medicine amblify."  I said that was exactly what I was thinking.  I have to tapper off my geodon and get switched over to the new med amblify.  By next week this time I will be on amblify alone at a low dose and starting 3 college classes.  Social Security and DVR paid for all my tuition and books etc to help me get off disability and go back to work.  Well I am suppose to avoid stress because that can make me worse.  Any computer programmers here?  The job is one of the highest stress jobs in the nation behind accountants.  Tough deadlines all the time.  Lots of people interaction.  I just want to isolate with the computer.  Even if I am able to pass these 3 classes I don't know if I can handle the stress of a job.  My concentration, memory, focus, etc is all way out of wack.  Disability sucks!
So far it has been 22 weeks since I have been off my pain meds and have been ch and migraine free.  I have no idea when they are going to return or if they will return.  My family and I could use some good prayers and vibes durring the next couple of months.  I finish school in Dec. and hope to have a job in Jan. so if you could just kind of keep me in the back of your mind and on your prayer list I would deeply appreciate it.
It means alot to me.  I love you guys.  
Title: Re: Update
Post by Jonny on Aug 17th, 2004, 7:13pm
Vibes on the way, Karla!!!

..............................jonny
Title: Re: Update
Post by IndianaJohn on Aug 17th, 2004, 7:14pm
Major vibes and prayers headed your way!!!!!  So glad that you are at least pain free.

Best Wishes
Title: Re: Update
Post by OneEyeBlind on Aug 17th, 2004, 7:50pm
Prayers coming your way Karla.  
Title: Re: Update
Post by Kevin_M on Aug 17th, 2004, 7:52pm
Sure will keep you in thoughts Karla.  Stay well.


Kevin M
Title: Re: Update
Post by UN_SOLVED on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:09pm
Vibes to you Karla.   :)

Best Wishes,

Unsolved
Title: Re: Update
Post by Little Deb on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:11pm
You are doing better than you think Karla.  You are making great decisions and doing what you can for the love of your family.  More power to you girl.  Stay strong and let us know how you are doing.
Prayers and Vibes from North Carolina..........Little Deb [smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Update
Post by klp on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:12pm
positive vibes your way. Sounds like you know what you have to do and will do what it takes. Thats courage. good luck. krista
Title: Re: Update
Post by thebbz on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:17pm
Prayers on top!!! Keep on with life . We know who is in charge and who has the power...Jesus.   Best wishes BB
Title: Re: Update
Post by alleyoop on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:18pm
I'll be praying for you Karla.

http://forums.catholic.com/images/smilies/prayer/praying.gif

.......................................alley
Title: Re: Update
Post by BlueMeanie on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:40pm
Hang in there Karla. CH free is the first step. Now concentrate on what's important to YOU and your FAMILY.

Praying for ya !!!    :)
Title: Re: Update
Post by farmboy on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:42pm
Vibes to you Karla
Title: Re: Update
Post by vig on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:49pm
Hang tough Karla....
Title: Re: Update
Post by broomhilda on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:49pm
Vibes on their way Karla and thank you for the update! I am with Blue, pf is wonderfully awesome news now take care of youself and your family!!!!!

You are in my thoughts and prayers...

Andrea
Title: Re: Update
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Aug 17th, 2004, 8:53pm
Karla - you've sure seen some tough times, but maybe now things will start to fall into place for you.

Wishing you only good things ahead in your life and may you remain PF - that's one part of your battle!

Hugs and vibes to you girl.

Carol
Title: Re: Update
Post by ShariRae on Aug 17th, 2004, 9:07pm
Best thoughts,prayers & vibes to you Karla
Huggs
Shari
Title: Re: Update
Post by Jimmy_B on Aug 17th, 2004, 9:27pm
Karla,

You have been through way too much already. I am praying for you & your family to come through this.

As Deb had said...you're putting up one hell of a fight already. You've already been through several...so this'll be easy for you, with everyone's help.

PM me if you need to.

Jimmy
Title: Re: Update
Post by Karla on Aug 17th, 2004, 11:55pm
Oh, did I say that by the way I am donating my brain to science when I die.  With having epliepsy till I was 28, then having migraines and clusters kick in when I was 32, and having schizophrenia at 34 they could have themselves a real fun time.  Maybe I will just go in for a frontal labotomy and get it over with.  lol
Title: Re: Update
Post by gore2424 on Aug 18th, 2004, 12:03am
((((((((((((Karla< shifting pain free less stress vibes to you so you can finish college and get the greatest job in Jan. that you could ever want making you and yours all HHJJ again HHJJ = HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY >Terry))))))))))   there you go Karla gave you all i could ok Ü
Title: Re: Update
Post by Edna on Aug 18th, 2004, 12:45am
nah, nah Karla


Don't think the back of my mind is where I'll place you just yet, you're running forefront and getting the best prayers and vibes I can pull.

Thank you for caring enough and being brave enough to share with us. I know it can't be easy.

I'm pulling for you, knowing you're a fighter!!


hugs,
EDNA
Title: Re: Update
Post by maria9 on Aug 18th, 2004, 2:10am
Karla,

I met you and your husband in Vancouver at the convention.

You are a strong women and have been through so much, so I know that you have it within you, to take this to the next level and accomplish whatever it is you desire.  See it, believe it, achieve it.

Go for it girl! You deserve it!

Marsha
Title: Re: Update
Post by Svenn on Aug 18th, 2004, 2:39am
Major vibes and prayers headed your way!!!!!  

Svenn
Title: Re: Update
Post by Gator on Aug 18th, 2004, 5:48am
Sending prayers and vibes for you.  You're a scrapper for sure.  Stay strong and keep us posted.


on 08/17/04 at 23:55:38, Karla wrote:
Oh, did I say that by the way I am donating my brain to science when I die.   


I've actually thought abuot this myself.


on 08/17/04 at 23:55:38, Karla wrote:
Maybe I will just go in for a frontal labotomy and get it over with.  lol


Nah, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me.   ;;D


Gator
Title: Re: Update
Post by Woobie on Aug 18th, 2004, 6:01am
[smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

So sorry you're goin thru this Karla.  It's got to be scarey.   But you're a clusterhead - you can get thru it.

Hugs to you!
tina
Title: Re: Update
Post by juvy on Aug 18th, 2004, 8:51am
Karla,

vibes on the way and you'll stay in my thoughts.

Take it one day at a time and if you need anything let us know.

*hugs*
April
Title: Re: Update
Post by Big Dan on Aug 18th, 2004, 8:59am
I've got some goin' up for ya Karla...


... stay strong...




-Big Dan
Title: Re: Update
Post by Jeepgun on Aug 18th, 2004, 9:02am
Hang in there, Karla. Keep on believing in yourself, keep your confidence high, and keep working with your doctors. Things are getting better and will continue to get better. [smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Update
Post by floridian on Aug 18th, 2004, 9:07am
Sorry to hear how rough you have had it, but glad that you are seeing some improvements and are also CH-PF.  Will pray for you.
Title: Re: Update
Post by thomas on Aug 18th, 2004, 9:26am
You are in my thoughts.


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