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Title: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:27am This may come across as intolerant. If you see it that way, tough shit. I have nothing against either group or what they choose to believe. The only belief that I have really damn hard time with, is when they insist on POUNDING on my front door at 7:30 on a Sunday morning! I've been kind, polite, told them that I'm not interested... All to no avail. They still continue to show up on my doorstep in their ill-fitting suits, trying to shake my hand, and inviting me to their church. I am at my wits' end. How do I get these people to LEAVE ME ALONE??? Regardless of their rude behavior, I've tried being polite. So far, all it has done is encouraged them, I think. My patience is wearing thin, and I'm seriously contemplating bursting out of the front door and kicking them down the front steps into the grass and kicking their asses. Grrrrrrrr.... >:( I'm open to suggestions. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by synergy2120 on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:41am My family are christians and we dont like jehova's! My dad (who is an atheist) used to tell them he was a devil worshipper and then shut the door whereas my mum (who is a christian) would invite them in and question everything about their faith until they left!!! I had them buzz my door last week i told them i was already a jehova and when they asked what church i was with i just made one up!!! That seemed to work. If all else fails tell them that you already believe (even if you dont) and that you are strong in your faith and nothing they say will deter you and then shut the door! They seem to have this belief that there are only a limited places in heaven and that the more people they turn to their faith, then the more chance they have of getting a place. Stupid really because i would of thought that all the places would have been filled by now if that were true [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by don on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:42am Small sign on door: CAUTION No Tresspassing Religious fanatics will be SHOT! |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by floridian on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:43am I start shaking my head and close the door with a "no thanks" as soon as I determine it is some one trying to sell me cleaning solutions or their religion. I am well stocked on both. No need to be rude, but no need to listen to their spiel. They are used to having the door closed on them. It's not about intolerance - I have friends and co-workers in both groups. What they want to believe and how they want to live is their business. It can be irritating when some one cold-calls early Sunday morning. (edited to add this) If it is one or two particular groups, a letter to their local headquarters might help. Just tell them you are sure youre not interested, no need for their reps to waste their time and yours. Now if I can just convince all my neighbors not to mow their lawns so early on the weekends... |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by alleyoop on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:53am on 08/08/04 at 10:43:00, floridian wrote:
If you ever figure that one out, let me know! Jeep, I like Don's solution. That little sign ought to work nicely! .............................................................alley ;;D |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Cathi04 on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:56am LOL...we used to live in a small cul-de-sac...when the "walkers and knockers" would come around, we used a sort of phone tree...warning everyone up the street not to answer....we were a close group. The kids woyuld scatter, pools would empty, and these people would think they had encounterd the Twilight Zone! Frank, it is your c hoice to answer the door...and if they are showing up THAT EARLY..well, there are laws..call the cops! Now..Tiggerman, Jeepguy..go back to sleeep! :PCathi |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by IndianaJohn on Aug 8th, 2004, 11:05am My last experience with them was rather amusing. They came around at 8 in the evening. A mother and daughter. I answered the door and was polite. She started the speal and I politley interupted and told her I was catholic. Which I am but haven't been to church in ages. She asked me if I was going to heaven and I looked her in the eye and told her yes. Then she said are you sure? Again I looked her in the eye, took a deep breath and again politely,said "miss please don't make me be rude". She said have a nice evening and I haven't been bothered since. Kind of makes you wonder if they're keeping a list somewhere. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Pinkfloyd on Aug 8th, 2004, 11:17am 1. You have to respect them for doing what they believe they are supposed to be doing....spreading the word. I like to think they believe they are there to help you. ( I guess I like to think people have the best intentions in mind until proved differently) 2. That said, You can always answer the door in the nude if you have time, or, as they are speaking to you, slowly begin to disrobe as you shake your head in aggrement, and mutter "please continue, you're turning me one." That should work whether they are male or female. Beware though, if they smile and ask to come in....you then have a 2nd choice to make ;-) PF |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 11:32am I printed out a sign on my computer and posted it on the front door: "Please, no solicitors of ANY religion. Thank you." If this doesn't work, I will regard it as an invasion of my home and resort to being scary and violent. I would prefer not to do that, but if they insist on pushing me, I'll give them a push they'll never forget. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Tim_Z on Aug 8th, 2004, 11:59am We grew up catholic and I thought it was funny how my mom would just tell them no thanks we have our own religion and proceed to slam the door in their face. :o Maybe if you showed them just a little bit of the dance with the beast they would steer clear of you. ;;D Tim |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by thebbz on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:03pm I believe these people are pagans. They come to the door, I answer it gladly and say I love Jesus. After that if they keep coming it gets funny give them cookies then tell them they shouldn't take gifts from people they dont know.Suggest to them that you never know whats in them. I love to have fun with these people, they stopped when I was in a cluster ONE TIME. Haven't seen them since. BB |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:09pm LOL, Tim. I generally prefer to deal with people in a polite and kind manner. I'm sure it's not their choice to go out in the middle of summer, in black suits, and canvas neighborhoods and get doors slammed in their faces. I have to say though, my patience and compassion are wearing pretty thin, especially when awakened out of a sound sleep by someone hammering the shit out of my storm door. I have a doorbell, for godssakes! They never use it. They just pound the hell out of the door, so by the time I open the door, before they've even said the first word, I'm already highly agitated! >:( I just got through placing a call to their church and spoke with a man there, gave him my name and address, and asked that they stop coming to my door. He asked if I was a member. (WTF???) I told him that no, I was not a member, but if they came to my door one more time, they would be leaving in an ambulance. That seemed to get the point across. The other thing that royally pisses me off, is coming out to my Jeep and finding religious tracts either under my windshield wiper, or on the driver's seat. What gives people the right to touch my personal possessions, or to litter it with their trash??? >:( I understand that they feel they are doing a good thing, trying to "save my soul," but I've never been lost and have no need of spiritual fire insurance, and I fully doubt that if Jesus were picking a church to attend, that he would attend theirs! Man, I've f*cking HAD IT with these assh*les! >:( |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by eyes_afire on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:09pm Quote:
Maybe you should try the good ole 'Satan Inside' sign. LMAO... of course, it may only encourage them... http://www.nw.com/mkl/satan.html --- Steve |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:18pm ROFLMAO, Steve! I need to get one of those for my Jeep! [smiley=laugh.gif] *singing the B-52's, "Devil In My Car."* [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jonny on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:32pm on 08/08/04 at 10:27:54, Jeepgun wrote:
Let me answer the door naked...They will love my chest tat.....LMMFAO ;;D....Its MY God ;) http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b4da37b3127ccebcbe337f9ec70000001610 .............................jonny |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:35pm Kick-ass tat, Jonny! |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by kimmiedawn81 on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:38pm My family are christians and we dont like jehova's! Ok, let's think about that statement for a minute...... |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jonny on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:44pm I dont give a fuck who you are or what your shit of the day is......but if you start pushing it on me I will push back twice as hard. telemarketers just love me.......LMMFAO ;;D ..................................jonny |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by synergy2120 on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:56pm I said we are christians, not that we are fully devoted and follow all the rules!!! (Well my mum does). If i followed all the rules i certanly wouldnt have emma or marc! Marcs not religious, emma was born out of wedlock and me and marc are not married but living together!!!! Im sure god understands though ;;D |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by pubgirl on Aug 8th, 2004, 12:59pm I think what kimmiedawn means is that Jehovah's witnesses ARE Christians Wendy |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by synergy2120 on Aug 8th, 2004, 1:04pm Oh Shit sorry!!! Im sure we are christians but i know we are not linked with the J's. Just rang mum and she says we are Evangelical christians and apparrently we are nothing to do with them. Apparently a long time ago we were the same religion and some people decieded to change the rules and the wording in the bible - these people grouped together and called themselves Jehova's. So we started off the same but arn't anymore! I dont really care - as long as they leave me alone!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by forgetfulnot on Aug 8th, 2004, 1:10pm A simple "I am Jewish" works for me everytime. ;) Lee |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by kimmiedawn81 on Aug 8th, 2004, 1:11pm on 08/08/04 at 12:59:05, pubgirl wrote:
Actually, what I meant was about the statement.....he said, "My family are Christians, and we don't like Jehovah's witnesses." Aren't Christians supposed to like everyone, and not hate. I believe that there isn't just one group of religious people going to heaven, I believe that if you believe in God, and his son Jesus Christ and you live by the bible that is what matters. However, I do understand everyone's frustration about the early buzz's on the door. I do feel your pain, and I'm so sorry to get into a religious conversation. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Rock_Lobster on Aug 8th, 2004, 1:19pm on 08/08/04 at 13:11:33, kimmiedawn81 wrote:
Oh man... we Christians get enough of that tripe at mass on Sunday morning. Look at your watch... it is Sunday afternoon. You clearly missed our 3-hour 'love everyone' window for the week. ;) |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Mark C on Aug 8th, 2004, 1:21pm on 08/08/04 at 10:27:54, Jeepgun wrote:
Hey Frank, Living in the buckle of the Bible belt, as do you, I just invite them to a good ole' fashoined, snake handling, strychnine drinking in the hills Pentacostal (http://www.english.vt.edu/~appalach/essaysM/pentacst.htm) revival service.....convert em if you can.....they won't come back.... ;) Mark |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by purpleydog on Aug 8th, 2004, 1:28pm on 08/08/04 at 10:43:00, floridian wrote:
As soon as they open their mouths, I say thanks, but no thanks. Then I close the door. And continue on with whatever it is I was doing. Sunday morning at 7:30 is a bit early, and I definitely would have let them know it, if I would have answered the door. ;;D pd |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Racer1_NC on Aug 8th, 2004, 1:50pm on 08/08/04 at 10:27:54, Jeepgun wrote:
It's simple for me.....I don't even know I have a front door at 7:30 am. They could be using a battering ram on it and I wouldn't have a clue. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Bill |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by E-Double on Aug 8th, 2004, 2:16pm on 08/08/04 at 13:10:41, forgetfulnot wrote:
You are lucky then! It never worked for me!!! They always said "We are even closer brothers!" I decided to start letting them in and truly testing them. WE"LL SEE HOW DAMN PIOUS YOU REALLY ARE!! haha! I'm a fairly learned man and a proud and devout Jew but I was also brought up to learn as much about others faith/religions, etc. so that I am not ignorant and can combat ignorance towards me!!! Scared the shit out of them when they realize they don't know as much as they think they did!! EVIL ERIC! |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jonny on Aug 8th, 2004, 2:27pm on 08/08/04 at 14:16:24, E-Double wrote:
You prick!......LMAO ;;D ...............................jonny |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 2:31pm on 08/08/04 at 13:21:17, Mark C wrote:
ROFL! We have those, and the "Primitive Baptists" down here, too. Phew! I'm glad someone's down here handling the copperheads and water moccasins, 'cause I sure don't want ANYTHING to do with them! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Svenn on Aug 8th, 2004, 3:13pm My cousins X husband was a Jehova`s witness. Those times i did visit them i had 1 really effective thing to stop him. 1 , Who came first,the hen or the egg. He never answeded me on that question 2 , This "prayer" "O , Lord help me to keep my big mouth shut,until i know what i am talking about." Those did work every time i did visit them Svenn |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 3:19pm LOL! Yes, Svenn; I think that would be just the thing! LOL -Frank |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Charlie on Aug 8th, 2004, 3:55pm LOL Svenn. Good one. 8) It's been awhile since I've had Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, or other Jesus Jolly types bang on my door but I've had some fun. Tell them you belong to the Church Of the Presumptuous Assumption. Jehovahs are unhappy types and there isn't much you can do but tell them to go away. Mormons are a different story. Once I asked them where they were from and as usual, it was the southwest...not necessarily Utah. A lot of young Mormons are supposed to travel all over to gather new recruits. Most of them are decent types with zero knowledge of church history and have no idea that it began here in New York State. I told them that I've read part of the Book of Mormon (true) and that I have a big science fiction collection. They don't come often enough to be a real problem. I had a new thing last spring. We had some minor legislative primary and my doorbell was working overtime. I saw who it was so I pretended not to be at home. Within a minute my phone rang and I noticed a guy on my walk on his cell phone. It was he. He did it to all my "not at home" neighbors. Talk about persistence http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/end is nigh sign.png Vortex of evil dwelling Charlie |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jayne on Aug 8th, 2004, 3:57pm next time they come to the door ask them to pull your finger, then let out a big fart and scream. "That's the gas of hell, run for your lives Jesus lovers" Failing that, answer the door and pretend you are "simple" just keep repeating over and over "I'M BALOON!!" and have a vacant stare. Thats what I would do. Come on Frankster, don't get mad, get creative :-* |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Racer1_NC on Aug 8th, 2004, 4:03pm on 08/08/04 at 15:57:39, Jayne wrote:
ROFLMAO......leave it to Jayne....... Bill |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 4:27pm LMAO!! At 7:30 in the morning, on the weekend, I find it difficult to be creative. When awakened from a sound sleep, my first instinct is to kill whatever it is that's causing the irritation. I suppose I could go into "crazy combat vet" mode... It would be a shame to see them shit in those nice suits, though. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by don on Aug 8th, 2004, 4:53pm Ask them if they would like to come in and view your animal sacrafice collection. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Simon on Aug 8th, 2004, 6:36pm A friend of mine who is a Church of England priest answered the door to some JWs, and said that he was busy, but that they wre welcome to return later. At the arranged time he answered the door in full C of E vestments etc, Bible in hand. They soon left. Either invest in a set of robes, or add a name plate to your door saying "Bishop Jeepgun" Mormons are easier, invite them in and offer them a coffee. If they refuse ask them to leave for not accepting your hospitality. If they accept ask them to leave as hypocrites. Baa |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 8th, 2004, 7:04pm LOL.... Hilarious, Simon... I had forgotten about the caffeine thing. Dammit, all I want to do is sleep, though. The more I think about it, the more pissed-off I get about it. Maybe I'll just rig the front steps with claymore mines. As soon as they pound on the storm door, FOOM!! "Oh, I'm sorry, Dear. Let me bring a spatula so we can scrape up all the millions of pieces of your ass and put them in a nice baggie for you." |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Donna_D. on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:34pm I won't matter WHO comes to my door... I'm a goin' to hell anyways.... There is more room in the handbasket for anyone else who wants to hitch a ride... http://www.wooket.com/tshirt_album/images/handbasket_t.gif DD |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by forgetfulnot on Aug 8th, 2004, 10:46pm on 08/08/04 at 22:34:16, Donna_D. wrote:
No, we just go, that's it. Lee |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by lionsound on Aug 8th, 2004, 11:25pm The , "I am Jewish" works for me too, while at the same time pointing to the mezuzzah on my entry way door frame. My husband(not Jewish)does the same. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Karla on Aug 8th, 2004, 11:59pm My husband Ted is a liscenced Pentecostal Minister. He said if you invite JW's in for anything like Birthday, anniversary, etc. they have to leave and won't come in. We have had Mormons and JW's stop by. We just invite them in and ask them if they want to join us for Bible Study? Then we are in charge. We had some Mormons say yes and come in. They stayed for the 2 hour Bible study. We sang songs and worshipped God, We prayed, and then we studdied scripture for a while then we had pop and cake. We invited them to come back the next week for more Bible Study and invited them to our church but they never came back and its been about 1 1/2 years. :) |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by athos on Aug 9th, 2004, 12:38am Well here it goes I am letting myself in for it I am sure..... I am mormon albeit my own special breed. I have even been one of those door knocking kids... I served my time in Detroit..... A nieve whiteboy fom back water Utah sent into downtown detroit.... Talk about culture shock. I never had someone answer the door naked although I did have one absolutely beautiful woman answer the door in bra and panties and stand there and play with her panties.... runied my concentration for months... I had a lot of fun while I was there.... In one bad neighborhood we had 3 very good friends that were special forces vets.... 1 marine recon demolitions expert... tuaght us all kinds of explosives Funnest was plastic explosives with petroleum jelly and a lot of sulfer tip matches.. wheat flower and bare light bulb, pipe bombs. 1 Ranger 1 Delta Force We lived in a nasty area of town, but the word on the street was leave the mormon boy alone or die.... that was cool... I never did reaaly care if someone did or did not let us in. I met some fantastic people while I was there. Got into my share of trouble. Had my share of bible bashing, which I thought was fun, and I did know my church history,and many others... sometimes I got my but kicked and others not.... Had my fair share of runins with JW, but I have to respect anyone with that much devotion. I don't know about 7:30 am on a Sunday.... I would be lucky if I got out of bed before 9-10 am myself. I was not a cookie cutter missionary and I am not now a cookie cutter Mormon. One oif my favorite joke is: A man died went to heaven and got a tour of grounds... The tour guide said... Over here we have the Catholics... not too far to the left are the baptist. And over here we have the Buhdists, and down to your right we have the Protestants... They walked for a long time and the tour guide said shhhh quiet.... over here we have the Mormons, they think that they are the only ones up here. Ok.... Take your shots..... |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 9th, 2004, 1:15am It's all Kool & The Gang, Athos. As I said, I have no problem with peoples' beliefs. And matter of fact, if they wanted to knock on my door around 10:00 a.m., or in the evening, I couldn't care less. I would continue to treat them politely and kindly, while simply telling them that I'm not interested. But the last time they came to my door, it was around 7:30, and today, it was around 7:30. That's just downright rude, and I have no patience for rude people. Now I've put out a sign, which I shouldn't have to do, and I made a phone call to their missions director, which again, I shouldn't have to do. I feel like I've gone above and beyond what my responsibilities are, to ensure their safety and to ensure that the quietude of my home is preserved. If they come back again, it's going to get very f*cking ugly. Cheers, blessings, and best wishes, my friend. -Frank |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Charlie on Aug 9th, 2004, 1:35am Hey. It's your problem not mine. Just so they don't bug me. I'm just glad you didn't get wasted. I've never had them come here in the morning so far as I know. Leaving me alone before lunch is a good idea. My idea of religion is that of Unitarians. Garrison Keillor says Unitarians like to read ahead of the story to be sure they agree with it. My kind of people. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by RevDeFord on Aug 9th, 2004, 5:15am I live on a main drag in a middle class neighborhood. I have an American Flag and a Christian Flag hanging on a 60 foot flag pole in front of my house. Have only had Jehovahs come by once. I told them I would make them a deal. They could come and talk to me about their faith, but for however long they talk, I get to talk to them about mine. I have a notebook that I have assembled over the years and if they agree, I sit and listen politely. When they are done, I get up and lock the front door and go get the notebook. It has worked every single time. The notebook talks about the problems with Jehovah's beliefs. I did the same thing without the notebook when I did a concert tour. I had 3 different sets of mormon missionairies come to my door to "convert" me 3 days in a row. I found them to always be polite, but also wrong. I always ask them if they are going to inherit a planet because of their faithfulness, and they must populate their planet with their children, would it not then make sense that if their children and their children's children become faithful mormons, that they would inherit their own planet too, thus leaving you alone for all eternity? Anyhoo, I don't get bothered by it. If I answered the door naked, I would have to call an ambulance for them. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 9th, 2004, 9:19am LOL, Rev... I don't think I could invite them in. The door-to-door types just give me the creeps. When I was a teenager, my parents were gone for the weekend, and this one pair of Mormon missionaries seemed to know that. I told them I wasn't interested and they asked to speak to my parents. I told them that my parents were unavailable. They came back a couple of hours later and asked for my parents again. Again, I told them that my parents were unavailable. They came back the third time, and with an older gentleman. By now, I was getting scared, so I grabbed my father's .357 from his sock drawer and answered the door with it dangling from my hand. I told them, "If you set foot on my property again, you're going to get the chance to meet God up close and personal." They couldn't leave fast enough. :o |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Big Dan on Aug 9th, 2004, 9:49am You're heathens... ... the whole lot of ya. Mexican circus midget!!!.... Fetch me my Plastic Jesus.... -Big Dan |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Woobie on Aug 9th, 2004, 11:06am One reason why I LOVE living in a gated community - no solicitation.......... ;;D |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Tiannia on Aug 9th, 2004, 11:23am on 08/08/04 at 10:27:54, Jeepgun wrote:
In college - I was in a speech class that was required for my theatre minor. One of the speeches that I gave was on satanism. I completly enjoyed asking them to come back at 2pm as I was indisposed at the moment. When they showed up, I had pulled out all of the reference books that I had for my speech. Went and got some dried ice and had a "bubbling" cauldrin sitting on the table. Once they sat down I asked if they wanted anything to drink. By the time I returned fromt he kitchen, they had left and never darkened my door again. [smiley=sgrin.gif] While I was counseling, some JW came tot he house and started talking to a couple of my clients. Which was REALLY bad as I was working with the mentally ill. I gave them one chance to leave the premises or I would call the police as they where a physical threat to my clients well being. They have only come to my house once... My husband opened the door with one of his samuri swords in had (unshethed). He asked what they wanted, and they said that they said they had the wrong address. Have not seen them since... -Tia |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by don on Aug 9th, 2004, 2:37pm Quote:
Address? I feel a spiritual awakening coming on. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Linda_Howell on Aug 9th, 2004, 3:07pm YUP! Politics Religion And Davenport. Always gets the longest threads here. [smiley=crackup.gif] Linda |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Charlie on Aug 9th, 2004, 6:00pm Quote:
Wow Rev. You mean to say a Jevoah banged on your door with Old Glory swinging for a pole? Rats. I was thinking that their dislike for such symbols might be a deterrant. I remember when I was 12 or so and alone, two JWs came to our door and wouldn't leave until they got 50 cents from me for a Watchtower. I hope God got them for that. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 10th, 2004, 10:17am Come to think of it, I only got one visit from the JW's, and that was before I had the 30' flagpole installed in my front yard with Old Glory flying proud. I think, with the latest steps that I've taken, there will be an end to the harassment. Time will tell... |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Ree on Aug 10th, 2004, 10:20am Now lets all be nice... we are all Children of our Great Creator whomever that be.......... just believe in Good and Love and no kicking people off the doorstep... kindly tell them your not interested or tell them how you worship.........works for me........love ree |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jayne on Aug 10th, 2004, 10:22am oh oh oh, if they come back again you could say. "Well as you know I am not interested, but I do know of someone who has been trying to get a hold of someone from your church. He can't wait to get involved." Then give them Don's telephone# and email address. Then say "Oh and if you call he said please feel free to reverse the charges" [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 10th, 2004, 10:29am on 08/10/04 at 10:20:35, Ree wrote:
Ree, did you not read this thread? I have tried being polite, kind, telling them I'm not interested, and asking them not to return. They show up at 7:30 in the morning and pound the hell out of my door. Nothing has worked. I simply wish to be left alone. I have no problem with what anyone else chooses to believe, unless they believe in harassing me. Their right to swing their fist ends where my nose begins. If one's religion is making them a more loving, kind individual, then I believe that they are in the religion that is right for them. To reiterate: The past several times, I've been kind, polite, respectful, and asked that they not come back. "Kind, polite, and respectful," has fallen on deaf ears. I'm tired of these people coming onto my property, disturbing the quietude of my home, and ignoring my requests to be left alone. That's all I want: To simply be left alone. Any further harassment from them will be considered an attack on my home, and I will meet that attack with extreme prejudice. Period. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by brain_cramps on Aug 10th, 2004, 12:26pm lotsa good ideas here. I'll probably borrow one since I need a new one! I always used to light a BIG joint, answer the door and invite them in. when they asked about my religion, i would tell them that I am rastafari! ;;D sometimes, they'd want to stay and discuss things. depending on the quality of herb, sometimes i'd even let them stay (for a few minutes). grant P.S. I like the suggestion about sending them to Don's house! |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 10th, 2004, 1:53pm Now...What did you want to talk about???? http://www.comedy-zone.net/pictures/images/bizarre/180503/nungun.jpg |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by floridian on Aug 10th, 2004, 2:25pm on 08/10/04 at 13:53:53, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
Girls just wanna have fun! |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by echo on Aug 10th, 2004, 3:04pm My dad used to place his hand on there shoulder and begin praying for them. They usally left within minutes. The same has worked for me. I'm going to try the strip tease act next time. Or, I might just tie a blue ribbon on my hoo haw and exclaim "Looky here, I took first place". |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Carl_D on Aug 10th, 2004, 3:16pm Oh, I LOVE JW's and Mormons! I have so much fun with them. I once had a Mormon come to my door and, since I studied the Bible for many years, know a bit. I explained the fallacies of the Book of Mormon, including the book of Alma chapt 7 v 10 where it says Jesus was born in Jerusalem,and not in Bethlehem as we all know. I LOVE the JW's! These are actual instances of them coming to my door. Me: Hi JW: Hi we're with the Watchtower society. Me: ah are you from the church of the latter day saints? JW: Yes we are. me: Great. Could you be a saint and come back at a latter day? Me: Hello JW: Hi, we would like to talk to you about your soul and eternal salvation. me: Oh that's okay, I don't have a soul. I'm of the devil. - they left (I saw these people coming down the block so was prepared for the knock, complete with blood capsules in the mouth) Me: Hi Jw: Hello, we're Jehovahs witnesses (began shaking violently, chomped capsules and let blood run down my chin while saying) Lucifer shall bring forth the son of Asmodeus and hell will rain on earth like the Flintstones in bedrock!" They left. another instance. Opened the door and knew right away. Me: hi, you must be the strippers for the party? JW: Strippers? No, we're... Me: hey you're very early. I hope you brought all of your bondage gear. JW: No sir, we are Jehovahs witnesses Me: That's great. We had a Fireman and priest here for the last party. It was dynamite! JW: No sir we...(they got flustered and walked off.) There are simply so many ways to have fun with JW's. I welcome them everytime, and love to see the look on thier face as I fuck with thier minds. Dr. Evil's Cuz'n Carl D FREEK |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by catlind on Aug 10th, 2004, 4:18pm I can't speak about Mormons, my only experience was in upstate NY with my neighbo(u)r and she had a heart of gold. On the subject of JW's though, my mother's sister and her family were JW's. They visited our home REGULARLY. Used to drive me nuts when I'd open the door to my cousin and have to say "James you know better". I've used devil worshipper, Catholic (they showed up on Easter weekend) and various other methods. There are 2 that I have found to work every time. One would be highly illegal nowadays, but when a group shows up with a young lady, as happened once upon a time, the young lady was invited in, and the door promptly closed and locked. The mother and brother were having a fit on the door step. She was never harmed or anything like that, they opened the door and she left and they never returned. Second to that, (and I learned this one by having a seance for a halloween party when I was 12) tell them to hang on a minute while you get your Ouija board to ask it if you should let them in. The utter fear of the words seance and Ouija boards is really comical. I've seen my Dad chase them down the street brandishing a frying pan aimed for their heads, seen them greeted by my brothers band in full drag, and many other situations, they are not easily deterred. The Ouija board and seance however got them to stop knocking on our door permanently :) I have no prejudice against any religion, I do however have prejudice to having it pushed in my face. To that end, if you wish to knock on my door and ask me about my eternal salvation, I'll tell you to hold a moment while I consult my Ouija board. Cat |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 10th, 2004, 4:47pm ROFL!! The Ouija Board and the blood capsules would be a... STUNNING sensation!! LOL! Mostly, I'd just like to be able to sleep late on the weekends without being bothered by "missionaries." Eh.. Since they are missionaries, maybe I should ask them if they only do it in the missionary position... Somehow, I don't think that would go over very well, though. :-X ;;D |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Charlie on Aug 10th, 2004, 4:51pm Quote:
I do. Any that bang on my door, ask for money or fuck up my TV, are on my fecal register. MOC |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 10th, 2004, 4:57pm "fecal register." BWAHAHAHAHA!! [smiley=laugh.gif] Singing, "When I get mad and I get pissed! I grab my pen and I write out a list! Of all you fuckers who won't be missed! You've made my.... SHIT LIST!!!!" (from "Natural Born Killers" ) [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Tiannia on Aug 10th, 2004, 4:57pm on 08/10/04 at 16:18:23, catlind wrote:
I wish I had no expiriance with Morons... err Mormons here but in Vegas they are everywhere..... It is rather frightening if you think about it. A mean really Vegas is called Sin City for a reason. And one of the municipalities set up guidelines on how strippers could give lap dances. They also made it illigal for girl under the age of 21 to work at clubs that serve alcohol. Well those clubs are only topless nad the clibs that dont serve liqour are totally nude. So all the under age girls now have to work at those clubs. The finniest part was that some of the COunty Commissioners that agreed to these new laws and regulations did so cause they where told that the City of Las Vegas would follow suit. And our good old Mayor Oscar Goodman, told them hell no, all the strip clubs could move over to Vegas juristriction and can do whatever they want. hehe |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by BarbaraD on Aug 10th, 2004, 5:24pm JW I can handle -- it's one church in town that has people on the streets daily (they run buses as far as 100 miles to bring people - mostly kids - to services each day and to put them on the streets). Well, they hit my house one morning when I had a granddaddy of a hangover (had a small child with them). When they asked me if I were going to heaven, I held my hand on my heart and then placed it on the child's head and asked if this child was saved. They replied yes, and I started asking how they knew and preaching to them -- all the way to the end of my driveway - I really think they were trying to get away from this crazy woman..... Anyhow, apparently the word got out (that was 10 years ago) and they haven't been back to my house at all since. Go figure ------- Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 11th, 2004, 9:04am Claymore mines. I'm going to rig my porch with claymore mines. "Knock knock! We're with the Church of..." FOOM!!! "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Look what you made me do, man!! Let me go get a spatula so I can scrape up the pieces of your ass and put them in a nice ziploc baggie for you!" -Bad Boy |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Robert_C. on Aug 12th, 2004, 6:50am One time I answered the door in my underware and asked them if they accepted Gay guys in their religion. They never came back. It's unbelievable how fast they can spread the word. Robert |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Carl_D on Aug 12th, 2004, 2:48pm on 08/12/04 at 06:50:28, Robert_C. wrote:
LMMFAO!!!!! Did you ask it in a lisp? I gotta remember that one! ROTF, CD |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by athos on Aug 12th, 2004, 9:30pm Since you guys now know that I was one of those mormon missionaries and I explained that earlier in this thread. Talking about gays, I did had a gay comapanion. I found that out one night when he was fondeling one of the other missionaries that was asleep. That was at our apartment. I told him had it been me I would have pummeled him right then and there. Being 6'2" and 230lbs growing up on a farm miliong cows and bucking bales, he knew that I could kick his has with little effort. I also told him that the guy that he fondled had the right to, and I told my friend that if he wanted I would say that he got in a "biking" accident. And told the gay one that he was about to have a "biking" accident. My friend was not a fighting type and did not want to do that. The Gay one was sent home back to Washington State right away. I am not a homophobe either, just don't force sexaual acts on anyone... I would feel the same way if a guy fondleled a good friend of mine that was a girl while she was asleep, and the same arrangements would be arranged. If it was my daughter I would kill. |
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Title: Re: Jehovah's Witness & Mormons Post by Jeepgun on Aug 13th, 2004, 8:02am Oh god... I would have killed him. |
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