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Title: INSTANT KARMA! Ya gotta love it!!! Post by Carl_D on Jul 30th, 2004, 12:26pm I just had to run a couple of errands here downtown, and with it raining, I grabbed my trusty umbrella. I knew rain was coming days ago when my legs started hurting again (but I'm at least walking, for now :::knock on wood::: ) I've been told to expect this with the Fibro(yuck!) Walking down the narrow sidewalk, some idiot quickly changes into the lane closest to me to give me a good splash from a deep puddle. I screamed "FUCKING PRICK" and the guy turned and looked at me and when he did, he rear-ended the guy in front of him. All I could do was laugh my ass off as I passed them. In fact, now I am dry and still laughing, but he'll be getting the higher insurance rate. YEAH BABY! INSTANT KARMA'S GONNA BITE YOU IN THE ASS! Then coming out of my drug dealers wharehouse (Walgreens) I'm walking and an idiot says "Windy enough for ya?" and I smiled back and said "Yeah. I feel like Mary fucking Poppins." He laughed. Then, a golden childhood memory came to mind from that statement, and people probably wondered why all the way home I had this stupid grin on my face on such a shitty day. Okay, I'll warn ya - you guys already know I have a sick sense of humor. Lets just say I was born with it. In high school, in tenth grade we had "Creative Arts" class. I hated it. I can't even draw a stick figure without it looking like it is on nerve gas (my brother is the 'artiste') Our assignment was, we had to make up a product, and create a poster advertising it. Well, the teacher made the mistake of pairing me up with my buddy Cliff and... He drew a picture of a lady inserting a tampon and the heading said, "TRY NEW MERRY POP-INS" My teacher and school counselor were so amused, we both got a 3 day suspension. He got grounded for a week, my mom just laughed and said "I knew you were retarded." Ah, such fond memories. Well, after not sleeping for 3 days, I am worn out but now afraid to attempt sleep again, as I haven't been 'hit' since Wednesday night, and so I'm rearing for an 11 soon. Yeah yeah yeah, I know - the Kip scale ONLY goes to 10, but as Nigel Tufnel said in 'Spinal Tap' "These go to 11." Still wearing that idiot grin, Carl D *edited to delete mysterious unknown smiley |
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Title: Re: INSTANT KARMA! Ya gotta love it!!! Post by Jeepgun on Jul 30th, 2004, 1:46pm ROFL!! Great stories, Carl. In Jr. High, we were allowed to pick an event in history and make a diorama out of papier mache` or whatever, to depict the event. I chose the Salem Witch Trials, and made the whole thing out of popsicle sticks and toothpicks. The "witch" was lashed to a pile of kindling, and "she" was made out of toothpicks, with a pencil eraser for a head. I had doused her real good with lots of glue, and as the teacher came around to grade our projects, I lit mine on fire and yelled, "QUICK!! GRADE IT!!" The whole classroom filled with the odor of burning rubber as the witch's "head" began to melt. I got suspended for three days, but I got a B+ on the assignment. [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D Frank [O||||||O] JEEP |
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Title: Re: INSTANT KARMA! Ya gotta love it!!! Post by Cerberus on Jul 30th, 2004, 3:39pm fourth grade science fair... Uh the BIG YELLOW ONE IS THE SUN! fifth grade science fair, made the project in one day...I had nine months to prepare and I did NOTHING, paper cup fill it with dirt...no seeds or anything....when the teacher comes around to examine and asks for an explanation......UH, Its a CUP....with DIRT...in it, I call it CUP OF DIRT! gotta love kids.. Ramon |
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Title: Re: INSTANT KARMA! Ya gotta love it!!! Post by Tim_Z on Jul 31st, 2004, 2:33am (still laughing) I love sick humor, that was brilliant. Hope your vacation went well. The 9 month thing, that fits me to a tee. I work the best under a deadline. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow lol. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Tim |
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