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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Baby problems
        
(Message started by: kimmiedawn81 on Jul 29^th, 2004, 2:01am)

Title: Baby problems
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Jul 29^th, 2004, 2:01am

Well....I'm kinda having a bad night. My sister and brother-in-law have been trying to get pregnant for a while now...they are 32, and my brother-in-law is in a wheel chair. They are trying the whole in-vetro thing. The first time they tried, only one egg out of 12 matured, and needless to say, it didn't work out. So, they tried again, and this time 14 out of 16 eggs matured, but a geneticist surveyed them, and all 14 had chromosomal abnormalities, meaning that the child would have Down's syndrome, or not even make it full term.

I can't explain to any of you how much she wants a baby. She cries so much because she wants to go through the whole thing, labor pain and all. It just sickens me to see some people beat their kids or have kids just to get on welfare, and then look at my sister and to know how much she would truly love a child. To make it all even worse, she is an OB nurse. So, she is around babies all day, and she loves her job, but she wants one of her own so bad.

Thank you for reading this, I'm just really depressed for them, they want a baby so bad, and I would like to have a neice or nephew.

~Kim

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by Big Dan on Jul 29^th, 2004, 2:22am

Prayers for your sister, Kim...

.... things will get better...

-Daniel Boyce

Title: Baby solutions
Post by Mr. Happy on Jul 29^th, 2004, 2:48am

Has your sister in law talked to anybody that actually HAS kids? We have several. They make you take your life up, roll it away, and put it on hold for several decades. They cost a lot. They are thankless. It's hard enough if they come out 10 and 10....the Downs/Etc thing is a real pisscutter. For life.
Mayhaps, they do Jesus, in which case this is a sign.

Wants to experience labor? Oi...........
RJ

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by Melissa on Jul 29^th, 2004, 8:21am

Kim,

My husband and I tried to have a baby the 1st five years we were married. We were told the only way I could get pregnant, and it wasn't a given, was IV. Needless to say, we decided to accept that we wouldn't be able to have another child. Wouldn't you know it, 5 months later, I got pregnant. I've come to learn that if it is meant to be, it'll happen, if not, well then it won't. I've also come to known that it's not what life throws at you that controls your life, but how you react to life that puts you in control.

I'm sending some healing thoughts her way, because I know what she's going through...

hugs,
:)mel

P.S. Each person needs to deal with a situation like this in their own way and I wish nothing but a healthy baby to enter into their lives. :)

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by Turts on Jul 29^th, 2004, 8:33am

Gday kimmie,

Im sending my thoughts to your sister and brother inlaw. I know a couple who had similiar difficulties but with perseverance they finally became the proud parents of a bouncing baby girl. Wishing your family the same positive outcome.

Turts

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by Little Deb on Jul 29^th, 2004, 9:45am

God has a plan for your sister.
Prayers going out.

.....................Little Deb

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 29^th, 2004, 9:48am

My heart aches for anybody who wants to have children and haven't been able to.

My sister is in this situation. She just lost triplets that she was carrying after fertility treatments.

My Brother in law and his wife are going through the same thing.

I wish they could experience the joy I feel every time I see my daughter.

My prayers are with them all.

Pat

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by Tiannia on Jul 29^th, 2004, 10:48am

With my daughter she tries to come 4 months early so they put me on bed rest. After the fact I leaved that my immune system was attacking the baby and placenta because it saw it as a foriegn entitiy. We where told that we should never have another child because of my imune system there was a less then 10 % chance that we would both come out of it ok. And I cried alot. I loved being pregnant. I loved the whole process and I wanted another one so very badly. Chrismas 2002 I found out I was pregnant. 5 years later. They monitored me a lot. And in actualyity.. I ended up with PIHT (Pregnancy Induced Hyper Tension. My BP at one point in labor was 176 / 138. They did not realie that my placenta was taking nutriants from the baby and my son was only 6 lbs 3 oz, where my daughter was over 9 lbs.

So let her know that it will happen in its time. I have cried her tears and know what it is like to want something so bad and feel like the entire world is against you.

-Tia

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by aprilbee on Jul 29^th, 2004, 10:57am

Lots of prayers to you and your family...as has been said...what is meant to happen WILL happen...

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by cootie on Jul 29^th, 2004, 11:19am

I've known alot of people that were despretly tryin to have a baby and could't all kinds of ways workin with docs ect........so when they more or less gave up all that would work and beganto think it wasn't ment to be.......wham bam thank you mam...... they were expecting !!! Course not to sure how spontaneous your brother in law is bein in a wheel chair and all.....so that mite lower the odds of just forgettin about it and it hapening on it's own. I wish em both luck.......I'd give em my kid but she's too old and has goin on 3 as of Oct. and talkin about number 4 of her own she can't afford. Doesn't seem fair does it. No more baby lampshades in my oven Pam

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by notseinfeld on Jul 29^th, 2004, 11:40am

There are lots of kids already here that could use a good home---have they considered adoption? Does your sister want a child or the childbirth experience?

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Jul 29^th, 2004, 12:13pm

on 07/29/04 at 11:40:50, notseinfeld wrote:

There are lots of kids already here that could use a good home---have they considered adoption? Does your sister want a child or the childbirth experience?

My sister wants both....you may have wanted to put that as an option. I'm pretty sure that I put that in my post that she wanted a child and to go through the whole childbirth experience.

Anyhow, thanks to everyone who has shared their experiences and are thinking of my sister and brother-in-law. I really appreciate it and I'm sure they will as well.

~Kim

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by Gator on Jul 29^th, 2004, 12:19pm

If they intend on adopting, they should be careful of where they go and be prepared for a lot of disappointment before they finally get the child they want. My sister can't have children. She and her husband spent tens of thousands of dollars before they got the girl and boy they wanted. A lot of adoptions fell through and at least one mother used them to bankroll her own comfort up until the last minute when she decided to keep her child. A lot of disappointment before success.

Prayers and vibes going out for your sister.

Gator

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by BobG on Jul 29^th, 2004, 12:37pm

I've heard many stories like cootie mentioned. After trying and trying and finally giving up it seems the couples relax and get pregnant. Who knows?
It sounds like your sister would be a great mother and deserves to have her dream come true.

modified to remove some insensitive remarks. Sorry.

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Jul 29^th, 2004, 12:40pm

on 07/29/04 at 12:13:27, kimmiedawn81 wrote:

And notseinfeld, she would like to have a child that is from her and her husband. And if you know anything at all about adoption, you would know that you don't just want to adopt and then BAM, there's a baby at your door. I'm a social worker and that is not the case at all. Through this whole process my sister has to give herself shots in the stomach everyday, have egg retrieval, which is very painful, and then to find out that all of that was unsuccessful. So, yes, she wants everything that comes with having a child, pregnancy and all. She would love a child more than anything, as well as her husband.

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by notseinfeld on Jul 29^th, 2004, 1:58pm

Apologies if I stirred anyone's ire pot and indeed on a re-read of the post it sounds a bit callous. I think it stemmed from the notion that I don't hear much about adoption but lots about embryonic manipulation or other fringe appeals to mother nature.

It would seem that other than BobGs rotten lot 'o kids adoption may be even more frustrating and expensive as compared to other methods.

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by BobG on Jul 29^th, 2004, 2:42pm

Thanks for the wake-up notseinfeld. My remarks were out of place in the string. The entry has been modified.
My apologies to the board.

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by Cerberus on Jul 29^th, 2004, 2:46pm

fascinating how those who don't already have kids seem to want em the most....

Sending vibes out to your sister and her husband...seems they have suffered alot over this.

The Irony in all of this to me is that Mel has explained an almost exact scenario a couple of friends of ours went through, They went and took out loans for the IV thing and everything, only to find out the day the loan was approved that she was pregnant already.

In retrospect, I have two daughters...I love em to death, but I cant say that knowing what I know now I would opt to do it again ( maybe I'll feel differently when they are gone)... If I were in their situation I would seriously consider adoption, you get all the...er...perks ::) of childraising without the pre-game show of which I really have no idea why anyone would want to endure anyhow.

Hope things turn for the better for them though.
Peace,
Ramon

Title: Re: Baby problems
Post by BobG on Jul 29^th, 2004, 3:05pm

on 07/29/04 at 14:46:54, Cerberus wrote:

In retrospect, I have two daughters...I love em to death, but I cant say that knowing what I know now I would opt to do it again

LMAO. I think all parents say that from time to time. But just wait until those daughters bring you grandchildren. It's the greatest thing ever.
Right grandparents?