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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Losing a Board of Director 
        
(Message started by: Roxy on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:07am)

Title: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Roxy on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:07am

I wasn't sure everyone would read this over on the OUCH board, so I thought I'd stick it up here. This lovely lady will be a loss to OUCH, she is one of the hardest working and caring members I have seen. Did ya'll know that at the Stockyards Restaurant, she paid somewhere around $500 for people's meals? Her heart never stops, and it breaks mine that she has been run off.

I had heard rumors that a lawsuit had been threatened against OUCH, and the following post confirmed it. I don't know, but I don't think a person that throws around the threat of a lawsuit has the best interest of OUCH in their heart.

Quote:

I resign as BOD! I hate it but it has got to the point I hate to turn on my computer. I have spent the last two months being beat up on the private boards by two officers and I have been defended by other BOD and officers to you guys a Thank you for taking that stand.
I have been accused of leading a mob against Renee that is untrue. I did not sign that petion and I did not pass it around, matter of fact I refused to sign it. I never asked one member to sign it. I never spoke about Renee to anyone excet the board members. I would have liked to of worked with Renee I voted her in as I did Barbara and would have liked to work with her. To this day I do not know what or why they have choose to do as they have. Dave has come under fire and threaten with a law suit. Why because he is standing up for the members. I don't trust any more and I am tired of the stuff going on. I am tired of not being able to voice my opinion, I am tired of my post on ch.com being copy and pasted to the private board and being asked to explain. I don't feel I have to post when I will be away from my computer for a day or two. I don't feel I have to explain my every move. I don't feel that I should be attacked becasue my opinion is different or that I vote for the members. I don't feel like my post should be deleted on a private board.
I am upset because if there is something I ever loved besides my family its O.U.C.H. and its members. To see my friends and good people who care come apart is to much for me.
Dave, Mel, Mast , Donna H , Linda H, It has been a HONOR to work with ya'll! Dan, Don, Bob P, Steve, Cat, Roxey, Jean, Jackie, Ozz and Happy Its also been a Honor!
Members I am truely sorry that I could not stay my term.
I will remain a member. You were always in my heart!

Elaine

This is a sad day for OUCH.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by BruceD on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:14am

That sux!

Just shakin' my head in disgust ...
BruceD

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jayne on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:16am

OMG!!!
words fail me right now. I truly don't know what to say.

Elaine, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all you have done. I don't think people really understand all that you have done over the years.
I am sitting here with my mouth hitting the floor right now.

Elaine, you are an amazing lady. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jackie on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:16am

What a pitiful state of affairs.

Yes, Elaine is my friend. That puts me in a good position to know how TOTALLY dedicated she has been to this organization. She has worked for years to further the cause. She has loved OUCH and the members. The fact that she no longer feels she can function within the organization is an atrocity.

I am reserving further comment........for now.

Jackie

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by echo on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:19am

Right there with Jayne and Jackie.

A sad day for OUCH

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by ozzy on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:20am

It is indeed sad. I don't understand how someone threaten with lawsuits OUCH. For every move forward, there three back. Aren't we supposed to be working TOGETHER towards the common goal? I don't blame Elaine one bit. In her position I would've done the same thing. Pitty.

No wonder people don't want to volunteer time on the BoD or committees or special projects.

I better just not say anymore. Too pissed...

Ozzy

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jeepgun on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:20am

"Atrocity" is a good word for it. Damn... This sucks. :'( Why is there such a problem? Why can't we all cooperate? Aren't we all working toward the same goals? If not, WHY not? Dammit...

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by thomas on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:22am

How do I cancel my membership?

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by vig on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:25am

WOW!
This is ridiculous.

"What a pitiful state of affairs. "

well said, Jackie.

I'm speechless again, but NOT the good way this time.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Gator on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:25am

WTF??? It appears I/we need to pay more attention to and get more involved in O.U.C.H. What kind of candy-assed pricks would attack a sweet, caring, hard working person like Elaine? This and lawsuits? All this coming from within our own ranks? It's been said before - we are our own worst enemy. If O.U.C.H. fails it will be because we failed.

Shit. Elaine, I am sorry there are reasons to make you feel you have to do this. I hope this kind of behavior can be reigned in so we don't lose more dedicated people.

Thanks for brining this to our attention, Roxy.

Gator

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Magman on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:30am

on 07/23/04 at 11:20:09, ozzy wrote:

Ditto all previous posts....Elaine, so sorry to see you pull away, but I do understand.

Like Ozzy, I will refrain from saying anymore....
T - Trust
E - Etiquette
A - Alliance
M - 'Me' comes last

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Big Dan on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:30am

.... E, got nothing against you for doing what you had to do.

... Sometimes, you gotta look out for No. 1, because no one else will (we would though... in a heartbeat)...

My my, how glorious it must be to serve as a big-wig on the OUCH BoD....

::)

Seems like an awful lot of politicin' for a non-profit orginization, run by it's own members... hmm... no wonder I don't read the boards...

-Big Dan

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jeepgun on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:41am

Threatening a lawsuit is basically robbing every single person on this board who has donated money to OUCH. This is the equivalent of walking in and pulling a gun. Whoever is pulling this shit, you need to sit down and shut the fuck up. Resign if you need to, but I don't think ANY of us that have donated money, donated time, or purchased merchandise from OUCH are going to sit back and consent to being held hostage or robbed.

To reiterate: Sit down and shut the fuck up.

Elaine, I am so sorry you are resigning.... :-/ Truly a sad day for OUCH. *sigh*

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Cathi04 on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:45am

aww, E.. you have weathered so many storms over there..this one must be huge!!!!
I hope resolution is close at hand...
and, yes.. it is sad when people, working soo hard on a cause can create such a maelstrom...I'm constantly amazed...if CH itself causes soo much pain..why would a fellow sufferer wish to inflict any MORE on someone...

Glad you are here....

and, to the source...

THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN WITH OUCH SINCE ITS BIRTH..HER SPIRIT AND HER LOVE ARE ENOUGH TO EARN HER A PERMANENT SEAT HERE..........HOW DARE YOU MAKE HER FEEL THIS WAY???????????????????????

fINISHED...
Cathi :-[

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by alleyoop on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:55am

What's the saying about one rotten apple? I don't know the whole story, but I do know Elaine. I've never known a more dedicated, caring and giving person.

My first reaction at reading this was the same as Thomas'. But after some reflection, I'll have to go along with Gator. I think we all had better get more active with OUCH, or risk losing it all together.

Just my opinion..............................................

.................................................................alley

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Big Dan on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:57am

I think the yacht just sprung a leak....

-Big Dan

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jeepgun on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:58am

Well, my hat's in the ring. In a previous message, I offered to help in any way possible. My offer still stands.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by thomas on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 12:00pm

If certain people in a group are too good for Elaine, then I don't want to be any part of it. Don't even want to breathe the same damn air. Love you and Buddy, Elaine.

Modified for hate speech.

Somewhere somebody has missed the whole fucking point of why we are here, you need to get your heads out of your asses and wake up. Just like a bunch of spoiled ungrateful children, this lady has worked so hard and given so much and this is the type of shit she has to deal with, I am ashamed, trully ashamed, how low we have sunk today.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Peppermint on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 12:06pm

It is horrible that this is the state of affairs. Inexcusable to have a lawsuit. That is really ballsy.

OUCH is a non-profit org as was mentioned, a GRASS ROOTS organization. It can run as a well-oiled machine, it can and has accomplished great things, in small steps - much different than working for a money making corporation, people pour their lives into the things they volunteer to do on their own.

As Dan said, "you did what you had to do". Why it came to this is utterly shameful and a bad reflection on the perpetrator of this chain of events.

It truly doesn't have to be this way.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Gator on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 12:22pm

on 07/23/04 at 11:22:44, thomas wrote:

How do I cancel my membership?

You find out - post it here for all of us.

I have never been able to log in over there - they must not want me anyways. I am listed in the general membership and under password maintenance, my username and password exists, but I cannot and never have been able to log in. Yes I did notify someone over there about it.

Gator

Edited to add: Okay, I was just pissed off about not being able to get logged in over there. I have no intention of trying to pull my membership. If there's any way I can help other than financially (I'm fiscally strapped), let me know.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jeepgun on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 12:25pm

Folks, now is not the time to bail out. Now is the time to get in there and make the organization stronger. It's a shittin' disgrace that one or two people can tip the boat like this. Come on! >:( Let's do it! If OUCH sinks, what are we left with?

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Racer1_NC on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 12:36pm

on 07/23/04 at 12:25:29, Jeepgun wrote:

I have to agree with Jeep.......let's not jump ship, let's fix what's wrong and move forward helping our brothers and sisters with this awful beast inside our heads.

Bill

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Donna H. on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 12:46pm

Dear People:

Before you start thinking of quitting, please get to the bottom of the facts. You might have to get more than two opinions in order to form your own, but keep digging.

Getting involved IS the answer.

Here is what I believe happened in regard to the rumor of a lawsuit.....one BoD got a little too pushy and to bossy so some things were said between several members. Another member said to be careful what we say or we might bring about a lawsuit on ourselves.

That's it. That's all.

There is a lot of unrest but all is NOT lost.

We did lose one of our dearest people from the Bod and everyone will lose because of Elaines resignation.

You all need to take a good look around and get some real facts and then take a part in the solution if you want to be involved with OUCH. If you are a person not interested in OUCH, please do us all a favor and stand back from the mike.

Love to you all,
Donna

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Elaine on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 12:56pm

Don't give up on O.U.C.H. Stay get involved and be heard. O.U.C.H. belongs to the members. I worked for YOU! The BOD and Officers WHO are left work for YOU!
I can't do any of you any good any more. Thats why I quiet. When I can't do my job its time to leave.
O.U.C.H. is still hope to me always will be. There are others that will replace us all. Back them but demand the truth of things going on. As members you deserve that much. I am still a member I am not leaving O.U.CH. I still see a hope at the end of the rainbow. :-)

Thanks for the backing...now I want to do what I missed most supporting and being able to be with you all again.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by TxBasslady on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:01pm

Tracey,

Thanks for bringing the post over to this side.

I think the members have a right to know!!!

As Chair of the Fundraising Committee, Elaine has done a great job. I wanted to help with the fundraising, so I volunteered to help, and together with Jackie and Elaine, I think we have done a damn good job!

Thanks to all of you who bought the OUCH caps....those were bought and paid for by Jackie. Jackie asked for no money in return. Thanks to those who purchased the OUCH snuffers and ashtrays. Those were bought and paid for by myself, Elaine and Jackie. (BarbD.....Jackie wrote a check for $93.40....that replaced what $$ you took so long to give Elaine from her budget.)

Guess some folks think OUCH doesn't need a fundraising committee. Looks to me like they got their way!

As of today, I have resigned from the fundraising committee. I wanted to help OUCH and Elaine, but it's never been appreciated by some Directors and BoD.

Thanks to those of you who really care!

Thanks again to those of you who bought the goodies that we had to sell. Elaine and I appreciate your generosity!!!

Thank you, Elaine, for giving me the opportunity to work so close with you on the Team. I enjoyed it!!

Jean

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by thomas on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:04pm

Damn.......................... >:( :'(

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Bob P on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:06pm

Quote:

If O.U.C.H. fails it will be because we failed.

Man, ain't that the truth.

Ebb and flow, duck and punch, give and take.

It really is interesting to watch the actions of the different personalities. The manuvering. Kinda like watching "Survivor". Alliance - attack - vote 'em off the island. Keep a secret - tell a secret - make up a secret.

As Cory said in "The Burbs", "I love this neighborhood!"

To those quitting OUCH - bye.
To those staying - far out, there's plenty more fun to be had.

I grant the remainder of my 2 minutes to Rumplestiltskin.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by alleyoop on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:09pm

Me thinks it's going to be a while before the dust settles on this one. :-/

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by 9erfan on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:19pm

WOW, this is unbelievable. Indeed a SAD day for OUCH. This is just not right. :(

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Cathi04 on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:22pm

OKAY....sooo OUCH sacrifices HOW many good people for one who.....because I dont know the circumstances and am not willing to draw a line in the sand...........IS NOT WORKING IN TANDEM??

The good people at OUCH are just like everyone else..they are working for a cure...and, I have to tell you,
It NEVER ceases to amaze me, when the team breaks down....it's like working for failure..and I KNOW you want, need, deserve success!!
Elaine..take a well-deserved break...visit, enjoy, support, read..whatever...
EVERYONE ELSE.. please, do not throw the baby out with the bathwater!! If you can stand the pressure..stay over there and show your unity.........YOU NEED YOU!!!!!

Again..I am from SO CAL, originally...and at times like this, I know what Rodney King meant(the sick puppy..but this is soo on target) when he said...."Cain't WE all jes Git alawnnggg???"

Don't jump ship...please...unless you are jumping ON!
Cathi :-/

Modified for Clarity...Elaine...YOU have been there, always, providing your energy, your time, your ideas and your support...HOW IN THE WORLD CAN ANYONE HAVE THE NERVE TO THINK THEMSELVES GREATER THAN THE CAUSE TO WHICH YOU HAVE SO DILIGENTLY DEDICATED YOURSELF?????????????
Someone needs to step up and tell the whole story.... let OUCH grow and prosper....the only way to do that is with a team...this is about the good of the whole...
BRING IT OUT... and bring it on...
REALLY DONE NOW...

Oh, and Elaine...and Jean, too... :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Magman on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:45pm

on 07/23/04 at 11:55:22, alleyoop wrote:

And a good opinion it is alley......

Let's all just hold on a bit and get past the BoD discussions and decisions. I'm sure we will find out in due course what has transpired and the outcome.

Getting involved IS the key. There is a lot of talent on this board. Together, we can make a difference.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by echo on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 1:48pm

Yikes! Two resignations in one day. Not a pretty sight.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by ave on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 2:07pm

Elaine,

I have let OUCH stuff slide the last few months.

I am sorry I did, for this way I didn't see the storm clouds gathering.

On the other hand, I am happy I didn't see the whole sorry show. I could not have stood by and see you reviled.

I have always appreciated the way you speak your mind (even if I happen to disagree with you).
I know how much you have done to help OUCH to come about, how much you have given.

I am so sorry that people are giving you pain. I am just sure of one thing - they will not be able to break your heart. You will prevail.
And a great many of us will be right behind you.

Thanks for being you and bad cess to your enemies.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by catlind on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 2:08pm

Dan, because you asked, I will wait til the dust settles. But from my own perspective I don't see a resolution for me to continue with the org in the fashion I have in the past.

This is not my official resignation - yet.

I am leaving shortly to go to Canada to see my family and pick up my 2 oldest children. I will be back on Thurs. or Fri. I will wait until then to make my final decision on whether I will be able to contribute anything of value to the members of the Org.

This is truly very sad.

Cat

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jeepgun on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 2:08pm

I just spent some time on the OUCH message board, reading through old threads, people calling other peoples' motives into question, misunderstandings, people at each other's throats... I can't claim to understand all of it, but it seems to boil down to several people having several different visions of the direction that OUCH needs to go, along with some clashes of personality. These are all things that could (and should) be worked out on a personal basis, without throwing the organization of OUCH onto some sacrificial altar and carving it up into pieces.

OUCH BoD, for all of our sakes, please work together in a harmonious manner. We all suffer with cluster headaches and we all so desperately want a cure. Through the development of C.H.A.T.S., through the efforts of each of you, through increasing awareness about cluster headaches, OUCH IS making a difference! Regardless of what happens, progress is likely to be slow. This is primarily due to the medical community being as conservative as they are, and the rarity of this disease. What is to come for the future is going to take a lot of patient building, planning, a willingness to compromise, teamwork, and a willingness to set aside personal differences for the good of the whole. I beg of you, please do not let us down. You are our greatest hope...

Sincerely,
Frank

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Leesa on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 2:47pm

THIS SUCKS!!!! Im so damn mad I cant see straight. I need to find my damn bat!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Leesa >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Kevin_M on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 3:07pm

I am saddened that the different views and perspectives couldn't have been resolved to presently make OUCH more socially enabling toward the goals to which each aspired in the respective committees. Voiced and unvoiced personally justified intolerances have pressed for this division of needed unity, and loss of very special people from important positions. I hope we can mend this chasm amongst OUCH and pick up the ball again somehow.
Elaine, it is futile for me to express your loss from the endeavors of OUCH. Jean, you so willingly stepped into place for the cause. Catlind, you have been the spark as I've never before seen, please consider. Together, this is extremely saddening.
Personal decisions have been made and are being made. I respect each has made their own best decision that expresses their difficult pain through all this. I am oblivious to the facts, but have only seen the outcome. It has been a devastating loss to continue in the manner which is needed. My best to all who pick up to carry on.

Kevin M

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jonny on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 3:51pm

Some people should tread lightly cause i'm pissed and carrying a big stick! >:(

Love you, E

...............................jonny

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Mark C on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 4:18pm

The struggle your Bod has been facing has taken a terrible toll on the members of the BoD....I know it has me. What has happened is a sad thing.....we tried....hard....to resolve the issues at hand....unfortunalty this is what happened and I am truly sad.

My take is most of this has been caused by a problem from the inception of OUCH, communication. What we are trying to do is hard....very hard.....and we work hard to try to do what is best. Your OUCH representives are very passionate about what they are doing.

I am hopeful by some of the comments posted on this thread....please.....get involved....please.....OUCH needs you. I will not quit no matter what....you elected me to represent you and I will continue to do my very best to do so.

OUCH will move on......so now is the time to pick up your oar and maybe row just a little harder......and try to give your OUCH representatives a little encouragement....I sure could use some.

In Loving Service,
Mark-BoD

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Giovanni on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 4:25pm

This sux.............

Thank you Elaine for everything. I really do appreciate you!

John

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by don on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 4:41pm

My quick 2 cents and I'm out.

OUCH will never be successful being run like a political campaign. In the many 501(c)3 organizations I have worked for and with I have never experianced a BOD member being elected. I have never experianced a BOD member in any of these organizations feel as though they were there to represent the clients or membership.

They were appointed because they were expereinced in operating a 501(c)3 and there task was to oversee administrative protocol. No more, no less.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jeepgun on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 4:46pm

Be that as it may, Don, I've still tendered a letter offering to serve in any capacity that I can. It is what it is.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by OneEyeBlind on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 4:47pm

Yup Mark, I think you hit the nail on the head ......... start rowing everyone !!!!!!!!! To everyone that has already resigned and may resign ....... your service has been a Godsend for us, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have accomplished. I'm throwing out lifejackets for anyone that needs one. Nothing but good vibes coming from my way. Let OUCH continue to support us & those that suffer along with us.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by floridian on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 4:51pm

on 07/23/04 at 16:47:32, OneEyeBlind wrote:

Well said. My thoughts exactly.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Magman on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 5:00pm

on 07/23/04 at 16:41:52, don wrote:

Well stated!

I have seen exactly the same scenario over the last 12 yrs of high-level involvement with 14 national and international 501(c)3 concerns.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Melissa on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 5:11pm

on 07/23/04 at 16:41:52, don wrote:

Yeah, but how big were those org's Don? I will joyfully be happy for the day when everyone can just be appointed, and work like they're supposed to like a well oiled machine...

edited to add: I'm starting to feel like Colin Powell ::)

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by don on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 6:07pm

One of them has a membership of about 1000.

The BOD is not voted on and all of the BOD are from outside of the membership and serve in a professional capacity.

The others are much larger but the model is the same.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by BarbaraD on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 6:20pm

Don, I agree with you and have served on a couple of boards that operate this way, but the board members were reimbursed (in some incidences) and there was an Executive Director to run the day to day stuff (very well paid).

I'd love to see OUCH be able to do this. Maybe this is a goal to stive for -- with unrestricted grant money (and we are eligible for that - just have to find it) we could achieve this.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by don on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 6:28pm

The "president", (a riculous classification for a professional organization to begin with) of OUCH would serve as the Executive Director.

The Executive Director is selected by the BOD, not voted on by membership or client base.

The BOD is not determined by who likes who the best and then voted on. They are sought after for their professional knowledge, skills and abilities that best suit the agency.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Woobie on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 6:33pm

BULLSHIT!

I dont know the whole story - and I dont want to.. but I do know that Elaine has given and given for OUCH - name calling and BULLSHIT like that PISSES me off.

This is EXACTLY why I dont get involved in the political aspect of OUCH - I cannot stand the BULLSHIT.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Bob P on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 6:41pm

Quote:

The BOD is not determined by who likes who the best and then voted on.

Damn, another nail struck firmly on the head.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Roxy on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 7:30pm

on 07/23/04 at 16:41:52, don wrote:

In the many 501(c)3 organizations I have worked for and with I have never experianced a BOD member being elected. I have never experianced a BOD member in any of these organizations feel as though they were there to represent the clients or membership.

BINGO!!

I've sat on two boards here in town, one of them The American Cancer Society Board. We were there to oversee. We met every quarter, reviewed what the officers had done, what they were planning to do, and the direction the society was heading. There was no checking in, or having to ask permission to be absent for an afternoon...and our opinion wasn't needed for every decision.

Hopefully, OUCH can get moving in the right direction, and people can quit getting smacked by those oars with which we should be rowing.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Carl_D on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 7:40pm

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
I love you Elaine, and admire you for the work you've done. Take some time and get some rest - you deserve it.

As for name calling, GROW THE FUCK UP PEOPLE, this is real life - NOT junior high. We are adults, lets act like it!

I will only leave OUCH when the beast is dead and haunts us no more. Until then, I am a member for life.

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Tiannia on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 7:53pm

I dont have much to say. But it is sad that this happened. There has to be a different Hat, so to speak, that the BoD member should wear that has to do with being in a possision. Handling business and no personal talk shoudl enter into it. When outside the capasity of BoD then come here and be personal.

Eliane, you and Buddy have helped me so much in understanding the dynamics of being in a situation where the wife is the s sufferer and the husband is the supporter. I cant thank you enough for that.

Jackie - I have never seen anything of you but the honest desire to help. That says a lot for character.

Take a break and recoup your energy.
-Tia

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by CarrieBethRN on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 8:55pm

Elaine,

I just met you for the first time this past weekend, and it was an honor. You show such dedication and caring, and I'm very sorry that things have come to this point that you feel you have to resign.

At Penn State, I was in a music fraternity of all women. I was a member of the exec board throughout much of that time. My first year on the exec board was wonderful. We all had many goals and got so much accomplished. Then leadership changed hands and things went downhill fast. During my 4th year, I resigned from the exec board and went inactive.

My 5th year, they made me go formally inactive through nationals, and they tried to get me removed from the fraternity as if I'd never even been a member. It was coldhearted, and I felt very sad because the organization had meant a lot to me. But a lot of crap and backstabbing happened, and it seemed like at meetings we spent more time arguing about what to do instead of actually DOING things!

So....to all members of OUCH...I agree that we should not quit and walk away. Things just need to be sorted out, and hopefully we can continue to move forward with a common goal of beating clusters.

Thanks for all you did, Elaine.

Carrie/Lizzie2

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Charlie on Jul 23^rd, 2004, 11:31pm

Gee whiz. I know zip about this thing because I never remember to get DJ to look into why my password won't work. :-/

Still, didn't something like this before make Elaine want to do the same thing?

In any case, I like what Carl D. says.

How about starting another thread on this in a few days? Just an idea.

Charlie

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by cootie on Jul 24^th, 2004, 12:37am

Stuff like this screws up the little people here's views to even stay a part of it all (like me)......
'we love" you all.......seems kinda disrespectful to me.......we see enuff turmoil day to day......who starts this shit anyhow ? Disgruntal unpolitical for this kinda reason Pam

I'm gonna continue for the ride........safest seat in the house.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Elaine on Jul 24^th, 2004, 11:07am

I have read all the threads and your all very kind. To the people who have given their opinions concerning how things should be. I wish all of you would just go to OUCH and get involved. Don't call me and ask whats going on, get over there and find out. Don't go there for a fight go there with solutions. Some times there has to be a big blow up to make things work. I have been wrong a lot of times. I don't mind saying that. None of us are a 100% right. I don't feel like I was wrong to step down or say what I have said. If it changes things and will make the org better down the road then my leaving was a good thing. It was a good thing for me personally. I did not leave OUCH as a member.
I hope if you are not a member you join. OUCH needs members as well as a good BOD. Maybe the OUCH boards are boaring but they are important. Your ideas your opinions are important! If all of you would go to the O.U.C.H. board and work to find the solution it would be the greatest victory. Work as a TEAM, don't throw tomatoes, just be a team. It will work that way!
O.U.C.H. is hope for a better tomorrow for cluterheads.
I have faith in you all and the remaining BOD to make it work! This morning I saw some very postive things going on there!

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by alleyoop on Jul 24^th, 2004, 11:54am

Pearls of Wisdom!......................Thanks Elaine..................

...................................................................alley :)

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Donna H. on Jul 24^th, 2004, 12:17pm

Did that woman say tomatoes? I've got so many that we have spaghetti for dinner every day. Next time we have a gathering in Fla., we're going to the beach and see if they BBQ nicely. Wanna come?

Seriously, every word she says is true. Anybody can tear something down. It takes courage to rebuild it.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Charlie on Jul 24^th, 2004, 1:50pm

http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/SMILEY MEETING.gif

We like you E.

Charlie

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by M.R. on Jul 24^th, 2004, 5:07pm

Ahhhh hell.....we love you Elaine

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Ree on Jul 25^th, 2004, 12:46am

A coupla questions...

1) Which Dave is suing who???
2) Why?
3) How can you guys go on a big vacation together and come back fighting like this?
4) What is this really all about?
5) Why is E always getting picked on?

Good luck all of you... ree-turning from vacation and very very confused...........

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Dave_Emond on Jul 25^th, 2004, 4:12am

Whoops!
I wasn't about to jump in this conversation, but now I must make a few things clear.
As President of OUCH, I was presented a Petition by Members of OUCH.
I posted to the Board that we need to recognize this petition and moved for a vote.
E-mails were going disscussing what to do about the the situation. Through the E-mails, someone asked about what the petition was all about. Because I agreed with those who signed the petition, I gave my personal opinion. I should not have done that because it then turned to the possibility that my opinion could be considered slanderous and OUCH could be sued.
My position was and still is, if anyone wants to sue OUCH, then I would resign and they could sue me personally for my opinion instead of suing OUCH.
I would rather leave than OUCH face any lawsuits. Now Donna was correct, there was no "official" statement that anyone was actually going to sue, just we were "warned" it could happen.
Now, I can't answer for anyone who signed the Petition as to what their reasons are but I voiced mine in E-mail in agreement with the petition. As President maybe I shouldn't put in my opinion, even if it was a reply to an E-mail sent only to Board Members. I'll take full responsibilty for my remarks and sue me ... not OUCH.
I wondered if the wording on that first post would sound as if I suggested suing, I have not. Anyone who knows me or has read my posts over the years knows that I have extreme passion for OUCH as well as Clusterheads everywhere. Elaine is one of my dearest friends as well as a great asset to OUCH, I'd never hurt her in any way. I might have a little fun scaring her a bit at the Convention letting her think she was in trouble then surprise her with a gift from Annette, but that was a blast :D
We now need to all come together, Members of OUCH need to be heard, your input is needed as we strive not to loose any more valuable Board Members, Committees or Membership. Please add your own input, the Board wants to hear you on the OUCH boards. We will need to fill these vacancies and as tough as it will be to fill the shoes of Elaine and Donna, we must. We need your help to help you.
Thanks,
Dave

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Big Dan on Jul 25^th, 2004, 4:56am

Too bad more people don't think like our good friend, Dave....

... what's sad is, unless I'm mistaken (and God, I hope that I am), is that it was a member of OUCH that even brought up the possibility of a lawsuit from one of it's own members....

... pfft...

Wailing and gnashing of teeth, indeed....

... Fratricide never sounded so disgusting.

-Big Dan

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Charlie on Jul 25^th, 2004, 5:24am

Seems we've had some kind of lawsuit threat before. I can't imagine anyone going through all the crap it takes to pursue such a thing. I still don't understand this thing but it sounds goofy to me. Childish really.

Charlie

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by BuddyH on Jul 25^th, 2004, 8:28am

I am so proud of you for standing up for what you believe in. It takes a hell of a woman to step outside the box and take a stand. To give up something you care about because you have morals. I know all the details and I am proud you’re my wife! You did the RIGHT thing!

Charlie its called "Scare tactics" !

Ree I think I can answer # 6;
My wife is honest and she took up for a committee that was being attacked on a private bard that the committee could not see. They were unable to defend themselves, so Elaine did not think it was fair and stood up on their behalf. From then on she became two officers punching bag.. Elaine has morals, in politics morals go out the window. Elaine never threw her morals out the window.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by BuddyH on Jul 25^th, 2004, 8:29am

Dan it was a officer that brought it up not just a member!

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by john_d on Jul 25^th, 2004, 8:58am

on 07/25/04 at 05:24:02, Charlie wrote:

I can't imagine anyone going through all the crap it takes to pursue such a thing.

That's the truth, it's funny how people love to threaten law suits without realizing the amount of money and time involved with following through with it.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by JDH on Jul 25^th, 2004, 11:29am

Lawsuits, private message boards, he said she said, back stabbing, resignations, someone whining about a couple of pics that had nothing to do with OUCH......whatever happened to finding a way to make our heads stop hurting?
[smiley=huh.gif]

Jim

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by catlind on Jul 25^th, 2004, 12:05pm

on 07/25/04 at 11:29:53, JDH wrote:

whatever happened to finding a way to make our heads stop hurting?

Thank you Jim. I have many many times stated the reasons for me doing anything I do for sufferers or the Org. - My head hurts.

There are many many passionate advocates that work towards helping sufferers. This situation is a very sad one, regardless of the outcome, regardless of who it is that ends up leaving, the Org was going to lose. When you have a lose lose situation, all you can do is look for ways to make it less painful.

My head still hurts, and whether I am working in an official capacity with OUCH or on my own, I will always work towards the end goal of making my head stop hurting. I have not made any decisions as to where my place will be within the org - as a member - or as an active committee chair. I will give it the time I need to give it to examine the situation.

When I do make my decision, it will be based solely on how much help it will be to the Org and to sufferers. If at any time I am hurting OUCH, then I must remove myself. I have put far too much time, blood sweat and tears in OUCH to see it damaged by MY actions. I will not now, nor in the future, do anything to HARM what the org stands for and what it means for those putting their hopes into OUCH.

I will always work to the benefit of sufferers. That I can't change even I wanted to. The vehicle I use to accomplish that may change, but if it does it will be because I believe that is what's best for OUCH.

I am at my Mom's and I plan to spend this week enjoying my family and taking a rest from all the stuff that has caused me much grief. When I get home, I will have a clear head and be able to make a rational decision.

In the meantime, I would hope that everyone who is a member would take the time to read and learn and get involved. Member involvement is what will make the organization successful. No clinical trials or research can help if we don't have bodies to fill them. 20 bodies, lets start with that and see if we can fulfill that request for the zomig trials.

If you don't get involved, time will be our worst enemy. The faster we can produce help to the researchers and scientists and doctors that will work for a cure, the faster your head will stop hurting.

Elaine will be sorely missed, as will others. They have worked hard because of what they believe in, and what they believe in - that's YOU. Everything Elaine has given has been to benefit each and every one of you that hurts. Don't let that be in vain, get involved and show her your appreciation.

Cat

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Ree on Jul 25^th, 2004, 8:48pm

Well said Cat..........!
Have fun and take a break from all of the hoopla........maybe you' ll come back and not know what is going on like me............ I'd rather not be involved....... ree

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Ree on Jul 25^th, 2004, 8:49pm

on 07/25/04 at 20:48:09, Ree wrote:

Well said Cat..........!
Have fun and take a break from all of the hoopla........maybe you' ll come back and not know what is going on like me............ I'd rather not be involved....... ree

and Well said......................JDH

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Ree on Jul 25^th, 2004, 8:50pm

on 07/25/04 at 11:29:53, JDH wrote:

like I said well said JDH............... my head hurts too............. love ree

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Roxy on Jul 26^th, 2004, 11:34am

Everyone is talking about the "he said, she said" aspect of this.

Let's give Donna and Elaine credit where it is due. Neither one of these ladies would have left an organization so dear to their hearts over just a little matter of some "he said, she said" stuff. OUCH means too much to both women for them to just arbitrarily resign.

Everyone keeps hoping more will be posted about this rift, but no one wants to damage OUCH any more than it already is. This issue has been brought to the board, and we are hoping the board and officers will take care of the problem.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Jeepgun on Jul 26^th, 2004, 12:08pm

Hopefully, a resolution will soon be forthcoming, so we can get back to the business of making our heads stop hurting.

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by Racer1_NC on Jul 26^th, 2004, 12:24pm

on 07/26/04 at 12:08:03, Jeepgun wrote:

Hopefully, a resolution will soon be forthcoming, so we can get back to the business of making our heads stop hurting.

Amen Brother!

Bill

Title: Re: Losing a Board of Director
Post by BobG on Jul 26^th, 2004, 12:47pm

I've been away from the computer and am late getting in on this string. Just want to say I'm very saddened by what is going on.
I've never met Lady Elaine face to face but have known her going on 5 years now. She has always been one of my favorite friends here and reading that she has been forced to leave the organization she helped start really upsets me.
Lots of love to you Lady E.