|
||
|
Title: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Donna_D. on Jun 12th, 2004, 2:45pm Having a "blue day" and I know I can count on y'all to show me something that will make me laugh... So "Show me the Funny"!! DD-who is badly in need of a smile today |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Rock_Lobster on Jun 12th, 2004, 2:52pm Two men are driving through Alabama, when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The Trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window and WHACK! the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver finally comes to and asks, "What the hell was that for!?" The Trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." Not wanting to make his situation with the law any worse, the driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here." The Trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and WHACK! the trooper smacks him with the nightstick also. After he recovers, the somewhat dazed passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?" The cop answers, "Just making your wishes come true." Still incredulous, the passenger follows up with, "Huh?" The Trooper says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that azzhole would've tried that shit with me!'" |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Cathi04 on Jun 12th, 2004, 2:55pm Here, luv, borrow mine! :) Never have seen you down before....set a timer, feel it all- you have been through a lot....I know....allow yourself to feel it completely....and then, when the timer rings....wash your face, and go hug those kids...and reememebr, you are cared about by so many.... gone now to look for some jokes...but I tend to forget parts of them....I'll do my best! Cathi |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by John_D on Jun 12th, 2004, 2:59pm LMAO Rock |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by vig on Jun 12th, 2004, 3:02pm I heard they just put a new arm on the International Space Station... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b4d833b3127cceb0764570250c0000001610 |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by John_D on Jun 12th, 2004, 3:03pm fair warning, offensive and quite frankly disgusting material http://ebaumsworld.com/flashloops-sohorny.html |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by broomhilda on Jun 12th, 2004, 3:16pm LMFAO John!!!!!!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Donna, will send you some funnies via e mail! Hugs Andrea :D |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Rock_Lobster on Jun 12th, 2004, 3:23pm http://www.sphalen.com/dl/av/friends.mpg |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Rock_Lobster on Jun 12th, 2004, 3:25pm http://www.sphalen.com/dl/av/branded.mpg |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Rock_Lobster on Jun 12th, 2004, 3:28pm http://www.sphalen.com/dl/av/catwall.mpeg ok... thats enough. ;;D |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by jonny on Jun 12th, 2004, 3:51pm http://www.joked.com/view.php?id=568&item_nr=2&total=186 |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Redd715 on Jun 12th, 2004, 6:01pm Here ya go sis...Don't ever let anyone tell you you don't know Jack Schitt!!! The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable throughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt. So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list! |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Charlie on Jun 12th, 2004, 6:12pm http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/donna.png Some more smileys courtesy Dorothy Parker: The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.' Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life. She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. Charlie |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by no-one on Jun 12th, 2004, 7:46pm Hey Donna, I am sorry that you are blue today :'( Check your e-mail hopefully it will make you laugh. Hugs Becky |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by don on Jun 12th, 2004, 7:58pm I'm naked. |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Mark C on Jun 12th, 2004, 9:04pm on 06/12/04 at 19:58:55, don wrote:
LMAO! ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D Vibes to ya Donna! |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by JDH on Jun 12th, 2004, 9:11pm http://photoshop.superdownloads.net/uploads/funny.jpg Hi Donna ;;D Jim |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Kevin_M on Jun 12th, 2004, 10:07pm Donna, Ain't got a funny for ya hunny, just hope something here got you to smilin'. Like to hear from you when you sayin' sumpthin. :-* You've made me laugh many times. I owe you lots back. Kevin M |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Donna_D. on Jun 13th, 2004, 6:26am Keep the laughs coming...going to need them again today!! I am going to see my Dad who is not doing very well. I love each and every one of you .... DD |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by JDH on Jun 13th, 2004, 1:27pm http://photoshop.superdownloads.net/uploads/militarycutbacks.jpg What cutbacks in our military spending could cause ;;D Jim |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by ClusterChuck on Jun 13th, 2004, 1:58pm on 06/12/04 at 19:58:55, don wrote:
Don, read the fucking instructions, damnit! She said to make her laugh, not scare the shit out of her! Gives me the willies just thinking of it! Chuck |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Cathi04 on Jun 13th, 2004, 7:47pm Hmmmph, CHUCK.... Look wh :o's talkin'!!!!! Cathi, with her eyes covered! |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Leesa on Jun 13th, 2004, 7:58pm Donna the only thing I can do is to tell you look on BobP's pic page and find the pic of Dave and I and trust me dear you will be ROLLIN!!! I know I do everytime I see it!! ;;D Leesa, whos ROTFLMMFAOPIMP [smiley=laugh.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Cerberus on Jun 13th, 2004, 9:46pm Hey Donna... Ya know when geese fly in that "V" formation? An sometimes one side of the "V" is longer than the other? Do ya know why that happens?????? Theres more geese on that side! ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D Ramon |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Rock_Lobster on Jun 13th, 2004, 10:28pm on 06/12/04 at 19:58:55, don wrote:
Yes. Yes you are. http://laulu.kuoro.com/kuvat/small_dick.jpg |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Gator on Jun 14th, 2004, 3:26am Hey Donna, Sorry to hear you're down. Did you ever go to http://www.twistedtunes.com? Try that and play a few selections from Dr. Demento as well. That'll make you smile. Gator Looking for my Wierd Al cd now. |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by FZfan on Jun 14th, 2004, 8:08pm What's the noisiest thing in the world? Two skeletons fucking on a tin roof during a hailstorm using soupcans for rubbers. |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Drk^Angel on Jun 14th, 2004, 8:23pm You Don't Love Me Anymore by Al Yankovic Lyrics: We've been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong? Seems you don't want me around The passion is gone and the flame's died down I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I was nice Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car? That kind of thing is hard to ignore Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore I knew that we were having problems when You put those piranhas in my bathtub again You're still the light of my life Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife? You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way You poison my coffee just a little each day I still remember the way that you laughed When you pushed me down that elevator shaft Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra Doing in my underwear drawer? Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will You set my house on fire You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers Oh, you think that I'm ugly and you say that I'm cheap You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep You drilled a hole in my head Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all You never acted this way before Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Drk^Angel on Jun 14th, 2004, 8:35pm Do ya like Tom Green? The Vagina Song Some of them are hairy Some of them are bald Some are kinda scary and this is what they're called... (chorus) Vagina... Vagina.... They call that thing vagina.... Some belong to virgins They're really tight and strong But big or small, I love 'em all That's why I sing my song (chorus) Vagina!!!!! Some of them are smelly Like clams and fish and such Some smell like a summer's eve Cuz they've been douched too much!!!! (chorus) (chorus) Nothing could be finer than to be in a vagina in the morning... |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by cootie on Jun 14th, 2004, 10:35pm I have possessed wild kittens on my front porch...been wild acting since birth......same with the parents. There moveing things around and makein all sorts of noises at nite doin it......I took almost everyting off cuz of them.....now they are tryin to rip out the phone lines and no matter what I do they move stuff I put in front of the connection box to get to them. Is that funny ? Depends on how you look at it.......any sudgestions.......what would vikeing kittens do Pam PS: I'm sure the sudgestions will be worth a few laughs even tho I am an avid cat lover (these guys are not my type of cat) |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by JDH on Jun 14th, 2004, 11:11pm http://photoshop.superdownloads.net/uploads/churchsign050557.jpg ;;D Jim |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Drk^Angel on Jun 15th, 2004, 12:11am A Complicated Song by Al Yankovic Lyrics: Uh huh ... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check it out Nineteen extra larges What a shame No one came Just us eatin' all alone You said, "Take the pizza home" "No sense lettin' all this go to waste" So then I faced Pizza all day And every day This cheese 'round the clock Is gettin' me blocked And I sure don't care For irregularity Tell me Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated? 'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated? No no no I was feelin' pretty down 'Till my girlfriend came around We're just so alike in every way I gotta say In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her so tenderly But woe is me Who would have guessed Her family crest I'd suddely spy Tattooed on her thigh And son-of-a-gun It's just like the one on me Tell me How was I supposed to know we were both related? Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated? No no no no no no no No no no no no no no No no no no no I had so much on my mind I thought maybe I'd unwind Try out that new roller coaster ride And the guide Said not to stand But that's a demand That I couldn't meet I got on my feet And stood up instead And knocked off my head, you see Tell me Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated? This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore I can't belch or yodel anymore Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated Oh no Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah) I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated What a bummer Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated No no no |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Drk^Angel on Jun 15th, 2004, 12:46am Pet Names For Genitalia by Tom Green Mutton dagger, Old blind Bob, Hanging Johnny, Fishing rod, Tally wacker, Pocket rocket, One eyed trouser trout, Ding dong, Ankle spanker, Pork sword, Engine cranker, Hairy hot dog, Davy Cockett, LET THEM ALL HANG OUT! CHORUS- Pet names for genitalia, You know the girls think of 'em, And you gotta love 'em! Pet names for genitalia, Theres always something silly About little Willy! Wang, Wahzoo, Weenie wacker, Pecker, Pee Pee, Kidney cracker, Heat seeking moisture missile, Giggle stick, Love whistle, Tube steak, Uncle Dick, THIS IS GETTING REALLY SICK! I'm not through, There's ONE more, PURPLE HELMET WARRIOR! Repeat Chorus 2x " |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by alleyoop49 on Jun 15th, 2004, 10:02pm A farmer had a cow, Bessie. She was difficult, kicking over the milk pail and refusing to come in at night. Well, Bessie got pregnant. After she gave birth, she changed. "Bessie's really mellowed out," the farmer told his wife. "What do you think happened?" "That's easy," she replied. "Don't you know, Bessie's been decalf-inated!" |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by ClusterChuck on Jun 15th, 2004, 10:38pm How about another song? (Thank you BillyJ for this song!) Dear Penis By Rodney Carrington Dear Penis, I don’t think I like you anymore … You used to watch me shave … Now all you do is stare at the floor, Ohhh, Dear penis, I don’t like you anymore. It used to be-e-e You and me, a paper towel, a dirty magazine, That’s all we needed to get by, Now it seems things have changed, And I think that you’re the one to blame, Dear penis, I don’t like you anymore. He sings: Dear Rodney, I don’t think I like you anymore … Cause when you get to drinking, You put me places I’ve never been before, Dear Rodney, I don’t like you anymore. Why can’t we just get a grip, On our man to hand relationship, Come to terms with truly how we feel, If we put our heads together, We’d just stay home forever, Dear Penis, I think I like you after all … Oh, and Rodney, while you’re shaving, Shave my balls … Chuck |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by no-one on Jun 16th, 2004, 3:50pm How about this one Donna, Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom." ;;D |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Jeepgun on Jun 16th, 2004, 4:45pm Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. [smiley=laugh.gif] Okay, okay: There's this bear and a rabbit taking a shit together in the woods. The bear looks over at the rabbit and asks, "Hey man, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit very haughtily replies, "Why no, Mr. Bear! I have NO problems with shit sticking to MY fur!" The bear says, "Great!" and wipes his ass with the rabbit. :o An American, an Aussie, and an Italian all die and go to Heaven where they are met at the pearly gates by St. Peter. St. Peter says, "All three of you deserve to go to Hell, but Hell's all booked up right now, so if you can tell me the meaning of Easter, I'll let you in. The American goes first. He thinks for a minute and says, "Easter! Yeah... That's where you sit down and have turkey and dressing and you're thankful for..." ZOT!!!! Into Hell he goes. The smoke and sulfur clears and St. Pete says crossly to the Australian, "Well?" The Aussie stammers a bit and says, "Uh... Yeah, mate.. Um... Easter! Yeah... That's where this jolly fellow in a red suit rides around in a sleigh and..." ZOT!!!!! Into Hell he goes. St. Peter is really pissed off by this point, and he glares at the Italian. The Italian guy says, "There is this guy named Jesus, see? And everyone likes him, see? But the Romans, they don't like him, see?" (And St. Peter is thinking, "Wow! This guy really knows his stuff! He starts calling angels and other saints around to listen.) The Italian man continues: "So they nail him to a big cross, and then they put him in a cave." St. Pete is saying, "YEAH? YEAH?" The Italian man continues, "One day, the sun is shining so bright, and Jesus he comes out of the cave...." St. Peter is nearly wetting himself, by this point, and says, "Yes? Go on!" The Italian man smiles and says, "He looks around and sees his shadow and 'PFFT,' back in the cave! Six more weeks of winter!" ;;D :o |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Gator on Jun 16th, 2004, 5:09pm on 06/16/04 at 16:45:04, Jeepgun wrote:
[smiley=huh.gif] Well, what was the other one? Plain? Honey Roasted? Come on, man. Finish the joke! ;;D |
||
|
Title: Re: Make me laugh.....I dare ya! Post by Jeepgun on Jun 17th, 2004, 3:04pm He said he was a cashew, but people kept saying, "Gazundheit!" [smiley=laugh.gif] |
||
|
Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1! YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved. |