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Title: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Tiannia on May 26th, 2004, 12:45pm Hey buddy I wouldn't send this to you if I didn't think it would help. Please read this.... It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then... to "loosen up". Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Jim, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll soon have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking" she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into t he parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that some Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling grass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video (last week it was "Porky's"), and then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. It keeps me alive to know that someday, somehow, all those memories of Socrates and Dickinson and Fitzgerald will eventually fade into the back of m y mind, never to be visited again as anything but the ghosts of the shakiest period in my life. I rest confident now that I realize I too can enjoy Jerry Bruckheimer movies and drink Budweiser and say things like "don't go there!" while making those little quotation marks with my index and middle fingers. I'm on step 11 now with Thinker's Anonymous; the "make amendments with old sitcoms" step. The next and final step in my healing process: voting Democrat. ;;D Don't take offence..... it is a joke. Change it to Republican if it makes you feel better. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Jeepgun on May 26th, 2004, 1:45pm Actually, I don't have much of a thinking problem. My conscience has done more to wreck my (sex)life than anything else. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by floridian on May 26th, 2004, 2:19pm Pretty funny up to the end - educational achievement, reading literature, and NPR are positively correlated with voting Democratic (with a high r-squared coefficient). Youth, unusal facial hair patterns, and emotional maladjustment are associated with voting for Nader. If the first 90% of the thinking story is true, I'm in deep denial. Lemme reflect on that for a while. |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Jeepgun on May 26th, 2004, 2:34pm I'm a member of MENSA. I've read most of the classics at least once, am mostly self-educated, and I'm voting Republican. Hrmmm... Then again, they broke the mold when they made me. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Luke63 on May 26th, 2004, 2:52pm Broke the Mold? Now that's the understatement of the century! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Tiannia on May 26th, 2004, 3:10pm My boss is a Rush Limbagh (I'm fairly sure that I spelled his mane wrong) fanatical Republican. He sent this to everyone on his email list. I simply thought you all would enjoy the first part of it at least. Was not intending to make a social commentary on the differences between political parties. Sorry if it offended anyone and/or insulted anyone. |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Gena on May 26th, 2004, 3:26pm I think I'm thinking? Thinking that thinking is my problem do ya think? |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by aprilbee on May 26th, 2004, 3:26pm don't worry about it Tianna...I took it as a joke, and it was so funny!! It described me to a T unfortunately!! ;) |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by floridian on May 26th, 2004, 4:07pm No offense taken - its funny. I just think somebody tinkered with the ending before you got it. Swedes and Norwegians make fun of each other. Republicans and Democrats make fun of each other. Usually the Norwegians spend lots of time trying to think up jokes about the Swedes, and the Swedes then spend up lots of time figuring out how to reverse engineer the joke. Problem is, after the Swedish use the 'find and replace' in their word processor to switch Swede with Norwegian the first time, everybody in the joke is a Norwegian. Then they replace Norwegian with Swede, and everyone in the joke is is a Swede. |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Charlie on May 26th, 2004, 5:16pm I enjoyed it T. Lots of truth in it. True about Scandinavians. Swedes know they're pretty funny. We usually do a good job making fun of ourselves. Half of my town is comprised of dumb Swedes and the description comes from us. Skol, Charlie |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by jonny on May 26th, 2004, 5:51pm http://www.joked.com/content/2004/Apr2004/23/joked-dot-com-best-prez.jpg Hey Tia...... :-* ..................................jonny ;;D |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Tiannia on May 26th, 2004, 6:00pm on 05/26/04 at 17:51:01, jonny wrote:
Well at least you did not say :-* [smiley=moon.gif] [smiley=yikes.gif] Been a long day. I love it when the person I am working with is trying very hard to get me fired. >:( -Tia |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Gator on May 26th, 2004, 6:12pm Very funny Tiannia. Both the joke and the response to jonny! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by stevegeebe on May 26th, 2004, 8:53pm I won't be bringing the potato salad to the MENSA picnic but my thinking may get in the way of this solution for unhappiness. Steve G |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by BobG on May 27th, 2004, 4:19am on 05/26/04 at 15:10:41, Tiannia wrote:
If anyone was offended by your joke then the thin-skinned SOB should ask his therapist to explain it. I thought it was funny as hell. Thanks. |
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Title: Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) Post by Jeepgun on May 27th, 2004, 7:57am on 05/27/04 at 04:19:20, BobG wrote:
Ditto! ;;D :-* |
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