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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> For the Supporter
        
(Message started by: Gator on Apr 30^th, 2004, 11:32pm)

Title: For the Supporter
Post by Gator on Apr 30^th, 2004, 11:32pm

After being hit out of the blue with a K10 last night (are you sure there's not an 11?) and having no more Zomig to help deal with it my wife broke down. She told me how useless she feels when an attack hits and how she feels she should be able to DO something. I explained to her that by her just being there for me and staying with me through the attacks and afterwards she was doing more than anyone else could.

You supporters need to know the wonderful things you do for those of us that suffer just by being there to comfort us and hold our hands while we walk through the pain and the darkness that is ours to bear.

I wrote a poem for my wife and I wanted to share it with you as well.

Here’s to a special person
At least she is to me
She’s everything I need in life
Just perfect as you’ll see

She’s so full of love and care
When others hurt she cries
She doesn’t even have to know them
Her heart’s so big in size

She’s always there to hold my hand
And say it’ll be all right
I feel so lucky just to lay
Beside her late at night

She thinks she’s doing nothing
So helpless does she feel
But without her I’d not be here
My life the pains would steal

So here’s to someone special
To know her makes me smile
I thank God for my loving wife
Who makes my life worthwhile

Love to all who support others, especially my wife.

Mike a.k.a. Gator

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by purpleydog on Apr 30^th, 2004, 11:41pm

Sounds like a very good lady and what she does for you is great! It is hard to stand by and not be able to ease someones pain. You are a very lucky guy :)

purpleydog

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by cootie on May 1^st, 2004, 12:51am

I'm a coward supporter......I hurry up and grab what he wants settin nearby then I RUN to the next room and get busy or go outside or run errands. He wants to be left alone.......so.......I do that. Was a time I didn't understand all this. But......I've always been there one way or the other. One man's supporter may be there own suffer'r Pam

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Rock_Lobster on May 1^st, 2004, 1:18am

I am with Cootie. The understanding my wife and I have is along those lines. 'Getting one?' 'Urrr hrrr' 'Need anything?' 'Grrrrr' 'Cya. Want me to get the Trex?' 'Grrr nrrr' 'Mmm k bye'

If it took hold really fast I will just camp out alone until the Trex roots. Otherwise I will hang out with them, since the trex slapping the shiz out of the CH is as good as sex, and I like to detail the whole 3 minutes play by play as though they have not heard it 50 times.

Rock

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Gator on May 1^st, 2004, 3:51am

on 04/30/04 at 23:41:34, purpleydog wrote:

Sounds like a very good lady and what she does for you is great! It is hard to stand by and not be able to ease someones pain. You are a very lucky guy :)

purpleydog

Yeah, I am very lucky to have someone like her. I try not to lose sight of the fact that the supporters suffer right along with us. They suffer from helplessness and hopelessness and from the broken heart that only someone that really loves you can feel. They stand by and watch or go into another room, but can still hear the torment going on in our heads; wanting to do something, but knowing there's nothing they can actually do. I tell you as bad as the pain gets, I'd rather be the one with the headache than the one having to just stand by until it is gone. I've seen a lot of posts in a short period of time of sufferers whose supporter just couldn't hack it any longer and left them. That's what makes the people who stay by your side (not necessarily literally) so precious.

All ch sufferers who have someone there for them should make an effort to ensure those people understand how much they are appreciated and loved.

Gator

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Woobie on May 1^st, 2004, 5:14am

I agree with Cootie --- I'm a cowardly suppporter too!! I get what I can for him, and run like hell. He doesn't want me to see him like that, any more than I wanna see it. The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming -

A lot of people dont have ANY support, and I cannot imagine that. It's not right. And some people have spouses that DONT support them at all.......that's even worse.

Thank you for appreciating your supporter... it's nice to hear that ....

tina :-*

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by john123 on May 1^st, 2004, 8:36am

coward supportors are probably doing just what their sufferer wants, that is what i want, god bless for being understnding enough to just get out of the way for tat horrible time

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Renee on May 1^st, 2004, 9:10am

weighin' in at a mere 115 lbs, a shot of trex (which i no longer use but rather relpax) can be very scary and abrupt to the old ticker so i prefer my supporter beside me. i don't want to talk, AT ALL. In fact, I can't put words together to get a sentence out, but I want my supporter there with me.

With relpax, it works and lasts alot longer than the trex did for me but it takes longer to get in the system. But....1 relpax and i'm good for at least 12 hours of pf time.

thank you to all the supporters, no matter how you support your clusterhead. we love you, appreciate you and need you!

renee

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Renee on May 1^st, 2004, 9:11am

btw....i love the poem gator! i think both of you are lucky to have each other!

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by cootie on May 1^st, 2004, 10:43am

PS: Yeah that is an beautiful poem Gator......got wrapped up into my own whine and forgot to mention that ! A supporter's supporter-ette Pam

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Turts on May 1^st, 2004, 11:01am

Gday Gator,

Your a very lucky and talented man, ( nice poem). I dont have a supporter (apart form the posters here) which can make things tough!!

A little quote I have read in a book

"through things you say or do,
love your family everyday"

I think this may be a key to help get through these troubled times. (for sufferers and supporters) id show your wife this post, as it displays the appreciation you have for her.

Turts

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Leesa on May 1^st, 2004, 9:29pm

Gator, from this supporter all I can say is BRAVO!!! Yall are very lucky to have each other. Thanks!!!
Leesa :D

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Gator on May 3^rd, 2004, 11:28am

Was gone for a couple days fighting off a stronger than normal series of attacks that left the last I wanted to do was get on the computer.

Thank you all for the kind words about the poem. You know, it really doesn't matter what form your support takes. That is a personal thing between the two of you. What does matter is that you are there. I don't necessarily want someone literally trying to hold my hand while I am trying to shove my eyeball back into my skull. When the attack is over it is nice to have someone rubbing my neck and shoulder or picking my spirits up when I get down to that low place. For those who have nobody there for you, I can't even imagine that. You gotta be tougher than shoe leather even with someone there. The ones I feel for the most are the ones whose supporter just walks out on them. Not just out of the room, but out of their lives. Cootie, Rock and Woobie. ya'll call yourselves cowards, but those are the real cowards. How can a human heart see that much suffering in someone they supposedly love and just walk out? I sometimes have to all but force my wife to take a night to herself or to go out with the girls. She doesn't want me to have to suffer alone. I find it inconceivable that there are those who can totally dump on someone BECAUSE they are suffering a little more than they are comforatble with.

Anyways. Thanks again for the kind words and for being there and for being here.

Gator
One Lucky Gator!

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Margi on May 3^rd, 2004, 12:58pm

Thanks, Gator - always does my heart good to see supporters recognized :)

Cootie and Woobie - you both get a butt-kick from me for labelling yourselves cowards. Girls, doing what you do is one of the hardest things imaginable - I intimately know how hard it is to have to leave a loved one in pain. One of the hardest lessons a supporter can learn - is that sometimes the only way to help is to leave. Just because you leave the room, your senses heighten and you are ~~100%~~, scratch that: 1000% aware of what they are going through behind that closed door. And you are powerless to stop it. Cowardice? Naw - that's courage at its best. Brad and Ramon know that you'd both bust that door down in a heartbeat if they called for your help. Even if that door was covered with ~~cooties~~....ooops, sorry, covered with barbed wire. ;) And, the rest of us supporters out here know that you are sitting on the other side of that door going through your own private hell while your man is under attack. You're far from being cowards, ladies - you're heroes!

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by Ree on May 4^th, 2004, 12:38am

awwwwwwwwwww Gator "YOU DA MAN" for writing that awesome poem............ for supporting your supporter... tell her anytime she feels down she can call me.............. what a wonderful couple you guys are... love to you both ~~~you touched my heart and made me smile tonight............. ree

Title: Re: For the Supporter
Post by TxBasslady on May 4^th, 2004, 1:15am

Gator,

Such a beautiful tribute to your wife.

CH is tough. I too, am thankful that I have someone who will sit with me till the pain is gone. He doesn't talk.....he just sits beside me....he doesn't know that I see the tears in his eyes.....and I never mention it.

The best thing I have ever done....was going to a meet & greet. The close bond that forms almost instantly is indescribable. It's tough having to see another sufferer when they get hit.....but I swear, it just draws you closer.

It is sad to think that some here on the board have noone in their life for support. Definitely, they have us....but it's not the same as having someone right there...with you.

Hope you're feeling better, Gator. Sorry you had a couple of bad days.

PF vibes to you.....and thanks to your wife for being such a great supporter.

Jean