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Title: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Tiannia on Apr 26th, 2004, 12:25pm I wish I knew why, at the age of 33, I am in so much pain... But no matter how many times I ask I never get an answer. I woke this morning barely able to move, but to stay still hurts just as bad. As some know I have degenerative disks in my back along with torn muscles that they dont want to go in and fix "until the disk rupture". Isn't that a plesant thought. :'( Anyway Even breathing hurt at the moment. To top that off, I have had a severe brochial cough for almost 4 weeks now. I have been on 4 different medications and it does not help. Anyone with a back injury knows how bad hard coughing make you hurt worse. And finally, the beast has come back with a vengance. I think he is making up for the 5 days that I did not have HA during the day last week. After kneeling on the floor next to my bed last night for almost 2 hours... screaming and crying into a pillow. I tried a nasel spray when it first woke me up because it was ramping up so fast. I finally broke open a Christmas gift that a clusterhead sent me. All I can say is "Thank you for the bottom of my heart for sharing and thinking of us in your cluster family." My husband finally woke up at 2am and got to see his first full blown attack in the almost 10 months that CH has been a part of my life. (I usually make it down stairs so that I dont wake up him and the kids :-/) The fear and concern in his eyes when the trex finally stopped the attack was frightening. All he said was "Is this what you feel everytime?" (laugh) I was so very exhausted, all I could do was nod. Who knows just maybe he wont say "Deal with it" again.... I wont hold my breathe. The wonderful world of HMO referalls and doctors has set up my neuro appt for July 6th. My husband started a new job in Feb and he has a different insurance that does not require referals (PPO - Cigna), so I am going to try and get in to see a nuero through that insurance once it goes active on the 1st. Anyway... If anyone has any thoughts, prayer, vibes, wishes, anything they can send my way, I would greatly appreciate it. I pride myself on being very emotionally strong, but I feel like I am losing that battle right now. I hope that everyone else is PF. Thank you Clusterville. I feel lost right now. Thank you my friends. I can only say that it is so wonderful that I KNOW you will understand. My thoughts are wish you all, -Tia |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Charlie M on Apr 26th, 2004, 12:37pm Double wammy: GOOD VIBES and prayes are sent your way. feel better soon. |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by JDH on Apr 26th, 2004, 12:41pm Stay strong Tia, it's gotta get better. You're way too young to be going through this much crap. There's a lot of people here you can lean on so take advantage of it and DO IT! Jim |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by thomas on Apr 26th, 2004, 1:04pm Hope it gets better soon, hang in there, girl. I'm pullin' for ya. ;;D |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Jimmy_B on Apr 26th, 2004, 1:12pm Hang in there, Tiannia... I feel for you. I broke my neck in a car accident a while back & the pain has (as the Doc's say) "referred" to my chest...along with the normal pain of my left arm, neck & upper back....well last weekend I was leaning over the seat of my car, trying to get something that fell back there, & I guess I stretched too far cause I heard a snap & then comes the pain. Even though I'm a smoker, I rarely cough...but wouldn't you know it...right after I got a bad cough. Felt like my chest was gonna explode each time. All I can say is thank God I'm not in the middle of a cluster cycle ;) Pain is soooo wonderful...(Add sarcastic look, now) Jimmy |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Filbert on Apr 26th, 2004, 1:16pm Tiannia I'm really sorry to hear you're suffering so much at the current time. Positive thoughts and best wishes flying over the Atlantic to you!! ATB Filbert |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Redd715 on Apr 26th, 2004, 1:23pm I can't say I exactly know your back pain Tia, but I myself have arthitis in in my neck and upper spine from an accident back in '86 and the injuries aggrivated by an assult in '97. I've just learned to "deal with it". (I know poor choice of words.) Double whammy is right. I have errands to run here...and another appt. with the specialist. So when I get back I'll be lighting another candle and sending out vibes to you. Brighter Blessings to you... |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by broomhilda on Apr 26th, 2004, 1:33pm Tia :'(, keep fighting, I know you can, just when things are so bad there is always hope for brighter days of strength, patience and health! Vibes, prayers across Canadian borders to you! Andrea ps- feel free to e me, pm me anytime Hugs for better days! |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by cipher_cat on Apr 26th, 2004, 1:33pm all the grace, love, peace, and pf vibes afforded to me are now heading your way Tia along with everybody's here. hang in there and know that if each of us could take away even a little piece of your pain we would. i know you'll make it through this. look how far you've come already! and when you do, you'll have one of the best survivor stories on the boards yet! :) |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Leesa on Apr 26th, 2004, 2:58pm Voodoo, Mojo, prayers and vibes a plenty coming from down south for ya gal!!! We got ya covered on this end. Leesa ;;D |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by jonny on Apr 26th, 2004, 7:22pm Hang in ther my friend. ....................................jonny |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Charlie on Apr 26th, 2004, 7:27pm We're with ya and damn sorry that this horror is using both barrels on top of all your other pain. This thing about seeing neurologists really pisses me off. I've been going to these oddballs for 44 years and have never had to wait more that week or so to see one. Come on up. I'd guess that after a test or two, you could see mine in less than two weeks.....maybe sooner. This is criminal. >:( Charlie |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Linda_Howell on Apr 26th, 2004, 8:09pm Quote:
Tianna, has he really said this to you? I know you asked for thoughts and prayers and hon....you got them..but I'm sort of glad he got to see this for himself. Linda, who is biting her lip real hard... |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Luke63 on Apr 26th, 2004, 8:24pm Ti....All I can offer is a hug and a prayer.....but you are strong...and I know that.....you will make it. Luke |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by brain_cramps on Apr 26th, 2004, 8:35pm Tia I'm sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. Back injuries are enough to deal with on their own. I can't imagine adding the beast into the mix. Hoping and praying for some PF time for you, Grant |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by ShariRae on Apr 26th, 2004, 8:41pm Tia.. Although this road must seem endless....You are NOT lost...take my hand... I will help you through this as best I can.. we all will....Thoughts,vibes & a very stong hand stretched out to help... huggs Shari |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Kevin_M on Apr 26th, 2004, 8:58pm Tia, It was the witnessing by my brothers and sister of an attack which convinced them of clusters being as real as they are. Since that time they will make the occasional call just to ask about how I'm doing while in cycle. I am hoping your matey will know what it is to "just deal with it now" and realize now how that statement is not any help whatsoever and in fact makes one less interested or respectful of their opinion regarding what you are feeling. Glad for you on getting the better insurance now. Hoping for better for you in the real near future Tia. A lot to put up with also with vertebrae injuries. It is a time to keep hanging in when it seems and feels overwhelming. Best of wishes to you Kevin M |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by bobkip on Apr 26th, 2004, 9:08pm Hi Tia, Know well the back pain and the beast on top of it is adding insult to injury. When I was in my late 20s I did something stupid with a really heavy tool box. No you perverts, it was nothing sexual. Back popped and it has been iffy ever since. Make the wrong move and wham, be bent over for weeks. Coughing? I learned to do a little sissy cough tthat was never satisfying. Sneezing? OMG. Sneezing while standing? Don't even go there. There were many nights I did the dance looking like the leaning tower of Piza. But it passed and so will your's 'cause your a clusterhead and one of the toughest mothers alive. Be well. Kip |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Lizzie2 on Apr 26th, 2004, 9:29pm Hey Tia, I have often wondered to myself why I've had to deal with so much pain at a young age, too. It is very frustrating, and I look at the kids around me...they are all out drinking, partying, having so much fun. I spend so much time in hospitals and taking pills and trying to cope. When I was 16, I had a tumor...and it really messed me up psychologically because all my friends cared about were relationships and school. And here I was caring about cancer and dying. I've always been a lot more serious and the like than most of the other people my age. In some ways, I think it is good...and other ways, it isn't. I wish I felt like partying and being wild like my friends do. My roommate goes out 4 nights a week, and I would rather sit with my computer or watch tv. I don't even WANT to go out anymore. The guy I'm dating has nicknamed me "The Hermit." (ugh) So I guess what I'm saying is...I can relate, although I don't have the back pain. I have other "crap" going on besides just CH, and some days I just spontaneously burst into tears because it gets to be too much. Not often, but once in awhile I just don't deal with it as well. Just know we are all always here for you. The friendships I have formed here with people I don't even know have seriously gotten me through the last several months. It means so much to me. My family is always criticizing me for being online all the time, but I don't even listen to them anymore. This is what gets me through. Hang in there, and feel free to PM me or email me anytime, like Broomie said. Take care and hugz!! Lizzie :) |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Little Deb on Apr 26th, 2004, 9:52pm Tia, Prayers and vibes to ya sweetie. I know it sucks, but hang in there. I keep wondering myself what is gonna break next. I just hit 40, and my back hurts every day, now add alot of hip pain, knees, and neck. Can hardly wait to go into cycle this summer. Some days you feel 20...and others...well.... If ya need more "late Christmas gifts" let me know. I have a cupboard full. We are all pullin' for ya. Stay strong. Big hugs...Little Deb |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by cootie on Apr 27th, 2004, 12:45am I can relate with ya on the back problems for sure...... I have Deg. discs in my neck (c-4 thru c-7) got it in my lower spine also with big lump and sciatic runs in both hips.......mines from injuries and wrecks. I sure can sympathize with ya leme tell ya. I've also got torn muslces too off my chest and in my shoulder grom a horse werck. Some of the tearing showed up in a mamma gram deal last week and had an MRI for my neck. Be a hell of alot to go thru all that 'AND' ch !!!!!! .......I think you could use them !!! It's a bitch cuz it is relentless pain .........not too many breaks are there with the spine stuff. Hang in there......stay strong......Pam with a screwy back to the max |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Mastifflvr28 on Apr 27th, 2004, 1:04am Thoughts and Prayers goin up to ya Tia!! Mast |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by eddie on Apr 27th, 2004, 4:25am im new to this but not the demon my heart goes out to ya eddie im new to this place 18 to 20 yrs of this is enough good luck [smiley=huh.gif] |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Turts on Apr 27th, 2004, 4:39am My thoughts and prays go out for you Tiannia. I have no idea what pain you are going thru but its sounds rough. Hang in there Turts |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by sandie99 on Apr 27th, 2004, 4:40am Tiannia, I am so sorry to hear that... :'( All I can say is that I'll send so many vibes than I can! Best wishes, sandie99 p.s. Thank you so much for your reply to my message! :) It helped me a lot. |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by OneEyeBlind on Apr 27th, 2004, 5:41am Healing vibes on the way to you ! |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by helpless23 on Apr 27th, 2004, 5:52am Tia, I sympathize with you hon. I had the "rupture" already and went for 6 months while I tossed and turned about the surgery. I had the surgery done 3 years ago and it was a great success. Waking up without "THAT" pain brought me to tears. So I know what you're going through. I know the pain and it sucks. You take it easy and find out what other options you have. Maybe a 2nd, even 3rd opinion on the ruptured disk may be a good idea. About the CH - prayers and vibes are headed your way. Stay strong - lean on us - vent as much as you need to. You know we will listen. Much Love, Toni |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Magman on Apr 27th, 2004, 6:02am Tia, huge Magman vibes coming your way. Quote:
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Lizzie2 on Apr 27th, 2004, 7:28am Thanks for posting that Magman. :) I gotta listen to that song now. It makes me remember that we all "get by with a little help from our friends." :) Lizz |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Jeepgun on Apr 27th, 2004, 9:33am *HUGGGGGS* Tiannia. I hope you feel better soon. Blessings and love. -Frank |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Woobie on Apr 27th, 2004, 9:37am Oh Tia.... I hope your husband finally GETS it! Sending you some vibes........... Keep yer chin up! Tina |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Carl_D on Apr 27th, 2004, 9:38am Sorry to hear this Tia. I hope you feel better soon, and the damn beast will let up on you. Sending prayers, vibes and energies up now. I do hope some relief comes your way, and soon. Keep us posted. Peace, Carl D |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Tiannia on Apr 27th, 2004, 12:11pm Thank you all for the kind words. It helps a lot to just feel loved. Deb, I will keep you posted... Hopefully I can get into a neuro before the middle of summer. It is stupid that they are that booked in advance. Well I at least got in to see the doctor yesterday. He informed me that I have asmatic bronchitis. And wants to to take another chest x-ray, because he thinks I might have walking pneumonia again. God this sucks. >:( I dont have sick time right now, so if they make be take off I'll go without pay, but at least I will get some sleep. ;) Well, that is if the Beast will leave me alone, but I will damn well try. We got to surprise the kids and got two puppies last night. They are 6 weeks old and are Black Lab and Shepard mix. You cant see any Shepard in them though. They are 2 little black furballs with a white star on each of their chests and big ass feet right now. I will take pictures and get them up so you can see. They are named Midnight and Loki. PF Wishes my -Tia PS: Linda, to answer your question yes, he has said "Deal with it" on many occasions. His standard comment to me is that if I could take a pill to make it stop that it could not be that bad. hehe He even told Super Pain at lunch, a few weeks ago, that he had "migraines that put clusters to shame." I was very proud of Chris for not laughing at him right there. It avoided me havng to "deal" with a fight on the way home. |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by miapet on Apr 27th, 2004, 2:19pm Tia, You have been a comfort to me .. .and I only hope I can be the same for you. *surrounding you in the light* *positive light and energy* miapet |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Jayne on Apr 27th, 2004, 2:23pm ((((((((((((((((((((((((((TIA))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Big Dan on Apr 27th, 2004, 2:30pm Like I mentioned on the boards last night... 'Freeheads' just don't get it... and they never will... Hope you get a break Tia... God knows you deserve it... PF vibes and prayers... -Big Dan |
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Title: Re: My friends, I need your thoughts... Post by Charlie on Apr 27th, 2004, 6:59pm We're all sending vibes and prayers your way. Trust me: You're doing just fine and you'll be all right. Charlie |
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