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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Emotional Roller Coaster
        
(Message started by: Gator on Apr 19^th, 2004, 12:10am)

Title: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by Gator on Apr 19^th, 2004, 12:10am

Since I started taking the Notriptyline for depression and the other meds the h/a specialist prescribed, I have noticed that I am extremely emotional. I am usually very Mr. Spock like with my emotions, but since the new meds I get all choked up and even cry where there would have been little response at all. I have relatives that have died that I never cried for, but the posts about our honorary clusterhead with cancer and the family that lost their son, even the posts about Scott in Bahgdad broke me down. The posts by those suffering so greatly have elicited genuine emotional response. Sharing in and truly feeling the suffering and the joys of people I don't even know are something I have never experienced.

I also notice that when I am happy, I am giggly happy beyond anything I am used to experiencing. My wife and daughter-in-law woke me up this morning by putting my grand daughter on my chest. We played with her I laughed like I haven't done in many years.

Anyone have any experience like this with their meds or is the pain that I have been experiencing and the sharing with you all just made me more human?

Gator
On an emotional rollercoaster with no brakes!!!

Title: Re: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by Kevin_M on Apr 19^th, 2004, 12:27am

on 04/19/04 at 00:10:11, Gator wrote:

Anyone have any experience like this with their meds or is the pain that I have been experiencing and the sharing with you all just made me more human?

Gator

The part after "or" can be can open some new emotional doors. Welcome. That's why being human, we are called human beings.

Kevin M

Title: Re: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by TxBasslady on Apr 19^th, 2004, 1:19am

Nothing wrong with being emotional.

Whether it's the meds or not....this is just an emotional place.

Just wait till you meet another clusterhead. You ain't seen emotional yet !!! :-* This is a good thing!

PF vibes,

Jean

Title: Re: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by Mark C on Apr 19^th, 2004, 2:48am

Sounds like a familiar road to me. I am quite manic at times. I also have been treated for depression for as long as CH, with less success. I have just learned to hang on till the ride slows....and try to enjoy the pass through the middle ground. I have also noticed it takes a heavy toll on me to be in one of those states too....rough. The meds usually level out after a little while but in my case I have decided to go med free on the depression....at least for now.

Good luck brother,
Mark

Title: Re: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by Luke63 on Apr 19^th, 2004, 11:04am

Sounds like to me Gator...that you're just an awesome man...you just don't know it yet. We always learn things as we go through life...you're getting a lesson in life now I guess...and it's never too late. Luke

Title: Re: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by Gator on Apr 19^th, 2004, 2:25pm

Thanks everyone. You know, it's not so much that I mind the emotions hitting me. I do have emotions and I do show them ocasisonally these days. It's just that I am not used to them being so strong and uncontrolled.

I was in the military for about 13 years, 9 of that as a policeman in the Air Force. I was patrolman of choice for most desk sergeants on sensitive or dangerous calls because I was so controlled that it just penetrated a situation and helped resolve it with less trouble. I could walk into a barracks or club and just cast a cutting glance and quell most fights, disputes or situations. In investigating the deaths of several military members during separate incidents over the years, I was so calm, cool and controlled that I drew praise from the military investigatory services of the Air Force and Army for what they saw as "Professionalism." I walked without fear as a guard in the medium and maximum custody areas of the military prison at Fort Lewis, Wa. Prisoners would not give me any guff. Even as a work yard supervisor when they had shovels and axes and I had a whistle and an ink pen - I was never challenged. I carried that same demeanor into the Juvenile Justice field as a detention center guard, then supervisor. I could get the gang members and tough cases to do what I wanted without so much as a cross word, when other officers would have trouble.

I have been told that I was a very intimidating person until you got to know me. I have started to mellow in my old age even before these attacks and the meds, but you can see where going from total control to out of control would bug the shit out of me.

Gator

Title: Re: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by Cerberus on Apr 19^th, 2004, 2:29pm

Gator,

I know EXACTLY what you mean. My meds do the same thing. I have taken the Nortryptiline before and it didn't do a whole lot in my case but make me feel like crap. I got new meds now and have been on a host of others for the same thing. I too do my best to remain even in emotional appearance...kinda helps me to keep perspective and not get overly excited or down but damn these meds. Don't worry, the emotional roller coaster usually slows a little in time, probably just the mind trying to figure out where "even" is. It'll get better.

Ramon

Title: Re: Emotional Roller Coaster
Post by Jeepgun on Apr 19^th, 2004, 2:37pm

It takes infinitely more guts and courage to cry, to show tenderness, and to be kind. Although it feels totally crazy right now G, enjoy it. Enjoy the love and joy that you're feeling for your granddaughter, and even the tears of grief. Man, it's ALL good. You're doing great, and hopefully, your new medications will bring you some relief from the clusters. Hang in there, my friend.