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Title: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Elaine on Mar 27th, 2004, 8:30am Yep turned 50 went to the doctor. The test they run. EKG they did two both come out different. My cholestrol is high and emizines are really high. They tell me I am high risk for heart attack. Gave me meds. :( Then they do the pap smear thing I hat thost things. While she is doing that she says she will do the retal exam. She says this as she rams her finger up my ass. A little more warning would have been nice. :o They send me for a Dex test (measures my bones) I flunked that one. They are giving me meds :( They test my hearing, I lost conserable hearing in both ears. So its off the the ear doctor Monday. See when I say what I wasn't being stupid I really did not hear ya :-) They did that test where you walk toe to toe, well I found out if I ever get stopped by the police and they think I am drinking, not to even try to do the test just let them take me to jail. :( They will be doing a mamogram and ultra sound on me next Saturday. I am really looking forward to having my tit put in a vice and mashed. [smiley=yikes.gif] The ultra sound won't be bad its just sticky LOL Then the last test oh this should be fun! They are going to do a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy Procedure.I just don't think my ass is going to like this test. For two days I have to be on a clear liquid diet before the test. They make you take three friggen enemas. They are giving me valium before the test. I am having nightmares about this test. Then it says on this paper work after this is over if you should have more than a half a cup of blood coming from your butt then call the doctor. I am thinking man they are going to put a tube up my butt and its going to hurt or they wouldn't be giving me a valum, they are going to make it bleed. Any amount of blood coming from my ass is going to scare the hell out of me. [smiley=nono.gif] I am going to have to think about having this test done. My ass is a virgin and I am going to keep it that way [smiley=laugh.gif] I think I may chicken out of this one. :-/ Who thought these test up??????????? I want to be 20 again ;) |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Woobie on Mar 27th, 2004, 8:48am OH Elaine.... Well..... at least you LOOK good! You are one gorgeous woman, sister!!!! I love you! tina |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Luke63 on Mar 27th, 2004, 8:58am Hey Elaine..Im 41 and had one done last Feb...don't sweat it ok..really! They'll give ya some shit to put ya half out anyhow...u wont feel athing. The worst part for me was not eating for almost 2 days...hated that shit..being that i eat like a horse. I promise...if u wake up from this scope and you even half remember it...u can c'mon down and kick me in the ass ok? :o Luke |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Luke63 on Mar 27th, 2004, 9:00am P.S. Elaine..they say blood....that's a just in case move on their part as not to alrm you..I had none at all..bet you wont have any either. They say that so if u have a bit...u don't think you're dying or something like that ok? trust me. Luke |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Melissa on Mar 27th, 2004, 9:16am Elaine, all this talk about your ass is gonna give me nightmares. :'( I'm really sorry your body is falling apart, and I'll be on the next plane to Georgia to paste ya back together. Relax! You're gonna be OK! I have the duct tape!! :D kisses :-* mel |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Rock_Lobster on Mar 27th, 2004, 9:27am Woob's right... you look great, so do not sweat it. What cholesterol meds did they put you on? Ask for Lipitor or another good statin. They are finding that Lipitor is the wonder drug... look it up... does everything for every one. Cholesterol-Lowering Drugs Cut Stroke Risk http://www.paktribune.com/news/index.php?id=59609 Study backs lowering cholesterol even more http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/nation/8138158.htm I have been on Lipitor for three years now. No side effects. When I increased my life insurance from $1m to $2m I had to get another physical. At that time I found out that my cholesterol is out of whack... not high, but the good to bad ratio was messed up... not enough good, so my doc put me on Lipitor until the day I die. My dad kicked the bucket suddenly at the young age of 56 from a heart attack. Go with the Lipitor. Keep the heart healthy my friend! Rock |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Kevin_M on Mar 27th, 2004, 11:08am Elaine, I've only got 334 more days 'til...the big L (50) Languish and lassitude? I'm sure I'll learn to like it. Take care, there are more rungs on the ladder to go. Crap, I was never good at shuffleboard. Hope your butt comes up clean. :-X You still row well anyway. Kevin M |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by suzy617 on Mar 27th, 2004, 12:26pm on 03/27/04 at 08:30:54, Elaine wrote:
This is important for all us women over 40. Hey...it saved my life. But the ass test... :-/ Chin up girl, you are one beautiful 50 year old. Suzy |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Ree on Mar 27th, 2004, 11:12pm Heck Elaine I have to wear tight clothes to hold my body together.... by the time I'm 50 I will have to use duct tape too... Mel I might need ya........... E you are still a hottie in my eyes and I hope I look as good at 50 honey...love ree |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Callico_Kid on Mar 28th, 2004, 1:17am I'll hit the 50 mark in June too. Beats the heck out of the alternative though! When we had the wife in for a colonoscopy a couple of weeks ago and she had some complications we decided that we are like taking an old car to the repair shop. They will always find something else that needs fixin! ;;D Thanks for the laugh! I needed it. Jerry |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by bobkip on Mar 28th, 2004, 2:11am YOU KIDS... Got my medicare card today. Talk about frrling old. I'll hit the true senior cirizen 65 this July and I could bore the shit out of all of you 'bout getting old but.... The up the ass test is a piece of cake, the worst part is the prep before, don't remember much of the actual test. And E, you don't need duct tape, you need another smooch. At least my kisser still works. Kip |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by cootie on Mar 28th, 2004, 2:26am I think somethings are better off UNKNOWN......after a certain age whatever they look for they will find.......probeing and prodding away.........YUK. Now what's this I hear about a extreme GAS problem after the anal probe deal and you jus have to sit there with a blank look on yer face and fart yourself to death in front of strangers........till yer deflated and then you can leave ?? I started workin out several years ago 5 days a week and my doc is leaveing me alone......tryin to stay ahead of the game Pam You look good.......so all should turn out fine........tell us all about it at the convention !!!! Nice late nite stories............blahhhh-ha-ha-ha..blahhhhhh ! |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by jonny on Mar 28th, 2004, 2:33am Im holding out for the "Well, you look great" scan.......My ass is exit only.......LM(Exit only) Ass off ;;D ............................................jonny |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Renee on Mar 28th, 2004, 10:52am Mine is better referred to as the big "EO" (exit only)! E, Don't worry your pretty lil self over this! Just fart away afterwards and pretend you don't even hear it! Keep those mammo's scheduled regularly...listen to Suzi, bless her heart! I'm here if ya need me and thanks again for the card. hugs and love renee |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Charlie on Mar 28th, 2004, 6:43pm Quote:
I pay good money for this every weekend :D You think you're falling apart? My face is beginning to look like Richard Nixon and everything else is just waiting for the word to leave the field. ::) Seriously, you're gonna do fine kid....50....the good old days. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Superpain on Mar 28th, 2004, 9:29pm Thanks Elaine! I just got around to reading this post. I'm at the end of my rope right now fighting these headaches... Everytime I even think about laying down my head explodes. It's terribly depressing. But some how I feel a little better now. ;;D I hope everything goes well for you! |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by BarbaraD on Mar 29th, 2004, 6:30am I'm with Kip on the Senior Citizen thingy. Age is just mind over matter - if you don't mind - it don't matter! (yeah right!) Seriously, I just don't have tests run - that way I don't get all those long looks. Go to the vitamin store and get Cayenne Pepper caps for the colestrol (don't have a problem with that one) and the heart problems (gotta find a heart first). B6 for the swelling (yep us Older ladies get that whether we want it or not) and a few dozen other vitamins for other things. My doc gets upset cause he can't find things wrong with me. I keep telling him all my problems are in my head! Then I keep a 2 year old on weekends to get all the exercise I need for the week. Seems to be working. Of course, over sixty, you get a new lease on life.... I have FOUR men in my life these days: I usually wake up with Charley (horse), then I go visit John. After that Arthur (Ritis) comes to visit, so I go back to bed with Ben (Gay). :-/ Hang in there - docs get paid to find things wrong with us. Start with the vitamins.... then all we have to worry about is the headaches... Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by helpless23 on Mar 29th, 2004, 7:59am Being female is tough Elaine! :P Big hugs to you sweetie. Much Love, Toni |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by echo on Mar 29th, 2004, 10:06am Closing in on 50 myself. Noticed that the spririt is still there but the body just dosen't cooperate like it used to. Getting ready for my 50 checkup and the inevitable violation of the "one way device" rule. |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by cootie on Mar 29th, 2004, 10:14am Does vitamin B-6 help with bloating or jus plain swelling.....or did ya mean both Barb........or is it to prevent hangovers too.........somethin some where along the line swells with a hangover Pam |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Margi on Mar 29th, 2004, 11:57am TS, check your messages, I've sent you MY Sigmoid experience. :o :-X You'll be fine, I promise. |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Sean_C on Mar 29th, 2004, 7:32pm Elaine I had to laugh...........you are a hot shit ;;D ;;D ;;D I think we all feel that way, at least I do. Still laughing.................. PFDAN to you Sean |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by Elaine on Mar 29th, 2004, 8:21pm Thanks guys. I am a little worried about how all these test will come out. I had my hearing test done today by the ear doctor, lost concerable hearing in both ears. Means I need two earing aids. $2,250 per ear. I won't be getting them. Thats $4,500 !!! People are just going to have to talk louder when talking to me and when I get old I have a quiet world to look forward to :-) Next test is mamogram and ultra sound next Saturday. Suzy your post brought back memories. I know how important these test are. Maybe someday they will come up with a better way for us :-)! Glad your going to be ok ! Margi I am ROTFLMAO at that message. Thanks so much for the warning LOL! You should post that LOL I am glad I can make some of you guys smile. Its good for us to smile :-) I don't go for the ass test till May, I don't have a baby sitter for JD so have to wait till Deveny takes her vacations so thats on hold till May! Thanks for the thumbs up all! Hmmmm hot shit LOL |
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Title: Re: Turned 50 and my body fell apart! Post by broomhilda on Mar 29th, 2004, 8:51pm Elaine, take good care and let us know how you're doing! My mom always says at least she will have good teeth and the dentist has a great mercedes! Luv and hugs Andrea |
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