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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
        
(Message started by: Patrick_A on Jan 26^th, 2004, 9:37am)

Title: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by Patrick_A on Jan 26^th, 2004, 9:37am

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can
only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer
together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then
just perform oral on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men
know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves
you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs
to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and
can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at
how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets
home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband . If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or
ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to
your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and cook him a
delicious meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is
very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no
pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should
he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it
up to him by performing oral on him and cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

Bwahahahaha!

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by Woobie on Jan 26^th, 2004, 9:40am

LMAo!

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by echo on Jan 26^th, 2004, 9:59am

My wife performs oral sex on me all the time.

She tells me to "Fuck Off".

Somehow it's just not the same.

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by Patrick_A on Jan 26^th, 2004, 10:03am

on 01/26/04 at 09:59:43, echo wrote:

My wife performs oral sex on me all the time.

She tells me to "Fuck Off".

Somehow it's just not the same.

She needs advice from "Dear Mr. Abby"

LOL, Patrick [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by benj on Jan 26^th, 2004, 10:07am

I'll be circulating that one down under [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by Gena on Jan 26^th, 2004, 10:47am

[smiley=crackup.gif] Did My husband write this

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by grumpett on Jan 26^th, 2004, 12:53pm

No ..I am pretty sure it was my husband or was it ?
maybe the same gent!

ha ha

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by brad267 on Jan 26^th, 2004, 2:02pm

Hey, I'm starving over here!!!!! >:(

I'll be happy with home cooked meals!!!!!!

<baby steps... baby steps...>

-Brad

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by aprilbee on Jan 26^th, 2004, 2:12pm

LMMFAO! [smiley=laugh.gif] so true its sad! you poor men, how do you get through the day? :-/

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by thomas on Jan 26^th, 2004, 2:26pm

Oh to dream of a pefect world.......sigh..........

Title: Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
Post by Cerberus on Jan 26^th, 2004, 8:31pm

Thomas said I was sick..............

Still waiting for my meal.... ;;D ::)

Ramon