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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> By CHmess.......For Her
        
(Message started by: KingOfPain on Jan 9^th, 2004, 12:19pm)

Title: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by KingOfPain on Jan 9^th, 2004, 12:19pm

First I'll give you a little background on where this comes from. Last night at 2:00am my little 3 year old daughter crawled in bed between me and my husband and fell right to sleep. Of course then I couldn't sleep...so I just laid there just watching her knowing she was right where she wanted to be - I thanked God that she was able to feel that kind of comfort in her life! I started to think about those people that have committed suicide from the throes of a Kip 10.......We've all been there. We've all wished at some point that someone would just blow our heads off to stop the pain...right....so this is what I was doing at 2:30 this morning................

Title: maybe "The Suicide Headache" but not tonight!

Title Edit: (with permission from CHmess)

For Her

I almost lost my fight last night.
I couldn't stand the pain.
I didn't have the strength to do it anymore.
I went to my bedroom and closed the door.

Searching for the gun, I began to cry.
Screaming to God, "Why Me? WHY?"
I didn't want to feel this pain again!
Still searching, I said a prayer and then Amen.

Then all of a sudden from down the hall...
I heard a tiny voice, "Mommy, I need you!" she called.
I fell to my knees in tears.
What I almost did was more than I could bare.

I ran to her bed and held her tight.
Remembering why I had to win this fight!
God showed me last night, I had to learn.
It's not for me to decide when death is my turn!

CHmess 01-09-04

____________________________________________________________

This is so good, I had to share it (with permission by
CHmess). She was too modest to post it.

Way To Go CHmess!

:)

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by Hirvimaki on Jan 9^th, 2004, 12:32pm

Wow! Awesome... Thank you for sharing this.

Hirvimaki

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by CHmess on Jan 9^th, 2004, 12:58pm

Well - a little birdie (KingOfPain) told me yesterday that I could write a poem - he said it was easy.... I said - I'de be better off dancing than trying to write a poem. And then this is what happened when I couldn't get back to sleep last night - I was awake from 2:00am-3:00am and I didn't even have a CH - ;;D anyway I shared it with him to see what he thought and he REALLY wanted to post it, so I let him :)

He titled it for me --- and for me its a little girl (3 of them actually) that remind me to stay strong - for others it might be something else but I think most of us can relate!!!

PAIN FREE DAYS TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! ;;D

THANK YOU KING OF PAIN FOR ALL THAT YOU DO ON THIS BOARD!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by Paigelle on Jan 9^th, 2004, 1:03pm

That is so beautiful! Sure does make you think. Doesn't it?

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by TomM on Jan 9^th, 2004, 1:06pm

Cheese and Rice! Now I'm crying at work.
That was great.
TomM

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by KingOfPain on Jan 9^th, 2004, 1:09pm

on 01/09/04 at 12:58:08, CHmess wrote:

He titled it for me --- and for me its a little girl (3 of them actually) that remind me to stay strong - for others it might be something else but I think most of us can relate!!!

Actually, the "For Her" was meant posting it for CHmess,
in the subject area: By CHmess.......For Her

It came to me after that For Her might be a good title for the poem.

She agreed.

So now, off I go to edit the post/poem to include the title.

You are welcome CHmess.

Thank you too.

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by thomas on Jan 9^th, 2004, 1:12pm

:'( Beautiful....... :'(

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by Tiannia on Jan 9^th, 2004, 1:25pm

That was.... well more then words can say... :'(

Tia

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by Leesa on Jan 9^th, 2004, 3:09pm

AWSOME!!!!

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by Lissa on Jan 9^th, 2004, 3:10pm

That's wonderful!! :)

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by minnie on Jan 9^th, 2004, 4:16pm

Chmess,
What a beautiful,heartfelt and yet heart wrenching poem.I believe you put into words what most ch sufferers go through. I am so glad glad you can remember your children during these times .I just wanted you to know how much I loved your poem. Thank you KOP for encouraging her to write and share it.I enjoy your writing too.wish I had some talent. :(
Minnie

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by CHmess on Jan 9^th, 2004, 4:20pm

Minnie, thank you and - I didn't think I had it in me either so if you ever can't sleep and your brain starts to go....grab a pencil cuz you never know....
;;D

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by amen on Jan 9^th, 2004, 6:29pm

That was awsome! ;)! I too have children. Four of them! They are what get me through everything! I am an episodic and currently PF. I haven't had a CH in almost a month but I still don't know if I can sleep through the night because I don't get the opportunity to find out. :-/ If it's not the beast, it's one little person or another! Sometimes i get frustrated at not getting any sleep, but the truth is....I wouldn't want it any other way. If they wake me then it's a blessing, that I am still here with them and they are still here with me ;)

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by thomas on Jan 9^th, 2004, 6:45pm

on 01/09/04 at 16:20:45, CHmess wrote:

Minnie, thank you and - I didn't think I had it in me either so if you ever can't sleep and your brain starts to go....grab a pencil cuz you never know....
;;D

That rhymes too, you are gettin' good at this, kiddo... :)

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by stevegeebe on Jan 9^th, 2004, 6:47pm

If not for the innocent, what would we do?

Good work.

Steve G

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by ShariRae on Jan 9^th, 2004, 9:26pm

Tears~~~~
Beautiful...
Huggs
Shari

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by Little Deb on Jan 9^th, 2004, 9:46pm

That was great. It is an incredible feeling to see your child sleep safely next to you in bed. Knowing that you are their world and that no one can fill their hearts like you do. It gives us an inconceivable strength to go on. Doesn't it?? I love being the one my children feel such peace with. They give me such a wonderful peace in return. They give me alot of other things, too, but that is another story!

I enjoyed your poem, and will think of it every time I look at my children asleep next to me.

little deb

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by CHmess on Jan 10^th, 2004, 10:39am

I just wanted to say THANKS to all of your for your kind words!!!!!!! ;)

PFDAN's to EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! :)

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by BillyJ. on Jan 14^th, 2004, 8:49am

Bumping in case someone missed this [smiley=thumb.gif]
Minnie

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by thomas on Jan 14^th, 2004, 6:45pm

Bumpin' for the night people. :'(

Title: Re: By CHmess.......For Her
Post by Jackie on Jan 14^th, 2004, 6:58pm

Lovely, CHmess.....thanks for sharing. :)
And...thank you KOP for encourging everyone...all the time...

Jacks 8)