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Title: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 30th, 2003, 1:09pm Day 1 I took the first LARGE dose this morning with coffee and a cigarette. I felt my forehead tingle. Was it Le Beast wanting to negotiate? Now I have you, you noxious douchebag. No one negotiates with me. No one. I get in my car and head to work. I notice the sun shimmering off of Lake Murray. Sailboats in dock. A man tossing a tennis ball from the shore for his beloved dog. A warm blanket begins to envelop me. All is right with the world. I take my second large dose before I eat lunch. At lunch I notice I can't keep my leg from bouncing up and down. I eavesdrop in on a couple of women beside me. One of their husbands has a thing for coprophilia apparently. I cannot stop laughing at this. As I am at El Chico, I order the Mucho Lunch. For those of you not in the know, the Mucho lunch consists of taco, burrito, enchilada, rice, and re-fried beans. You can re-order whatever you wish at no extra cost. I have more enchilada and burrito. They are good smothered in their cheeses. Melted cheeses. On my way back to the office, I flip an old lady off for cutting me off while I am trying to merge on to the interstate. In short, nothing has changed. I'll update this again tomorrow. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Hirvimaki on Dec 30th, 2003, 1:23pm Ah, coprophilia. Can I just say, Ick. At least my cryptovestiphilia keeps my wife happy... Hirvimaki |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Hirvimaki on Dec 30th, 2003, 3:09pm I guess I won't mention my lavacultophilia. ;) (Yes, that's for you, Fric...) Hirvimaki |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Peppermint on Dec 30th, 2003, 3:16pm on 12/30/03 at 15:09:25, Hirvimaki wrote:
http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/otn/funny/smoke2.gif lost evermore...Fric |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 30th, 2003, 3:20pm Goddammit, y'all need to stay outta my journal. Read it, yes. Live it, yes. Weep your vodka soaked tears all over it, but do not post in it. You very well may be scribbling your drivel all over what could be Old Man and the Sea first edition. Except no boats and stuff. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Miklos on Dec 30th, 2003, 3:34pm Although the topics on this board are often diffluxive, and I would certainly not wish to appear procacious, I have no idea what sexual peculiarities are represented by cryptovestiphilia and lavacultophilia. They certainly sound mildly obscene. I, on the other hand, am a true blue gynæcomaniac who admires the the most callipygian features of the distaff side. I do, of course, abjure tribades. P.S.: There are bonus points available for anyone who can use the word, catamidiate, properly in a sentence. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 30th, 2003, 3:40pm When I was a young boy, no more than 11, I found myself a prisoner in the cellar of old man Higgins, catamidiated and broken, my youth a thing of the past. Now, stay outta my goddamn journal!!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by cathy on Dec 30th, 2003, 3:54pm [smiley=curtain.gif]...okay all I wanna know is WTF are you all going on about...when I know I promise to stay out of the journal...thanks... ;;D Cathy |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Peppermint on Dec 30th, 2003, 3:57pm on 12/30/03 at 15:54:08, cathy wrote:
that's what I'm trying to figure out Cathy... ;;D Oops Brian... did I stumble upon your journal again? |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Hirvimaki on Dec 30th, 2003, 4:07pm Just having a bit of sesquipedalian banter... But as this topic is filipendulous and cannot take much scorn and as I suffer from catagelophobia, I shall stay out of this personal journal... Oh, in case you are curious, both my -philias are related to the fact that in my youth I was an ecdysiophile! Hirvimaki |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by cathy on Dec 30th, 2003, 4:19pm confusious say 'man with cock in biscuit tin fucken crackers' |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Donna_D. on Dec 30th, 2003, 4:56pm www.m-w.com ;;D Donna D |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Peppermint on Dec 30th, 2003, 4:57pm ANd THAT is why I love you Donna... LMAO!!! ;;D BUT... some of these words are not in there..... but they are here: http://www.islandnet.com/~egbird/dict/dict.htm neener neener neener PUCK. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Donna_D. on Dec 30th, 2003, 5:17pm And THAT is why I love you TOO, Pep! You've always got my back! Donna D. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Melissa on Dec 30th, 2003, 5:38pm on 12/30/03 at 16:19:03, cathy wrote:
confucious also say, man who go through airport terminal sideways, going to Bangkok Also, what the fuck is everyone flibbertyjibbiting about? I thought this was a sensitive bare your all journal? ;;D |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Hirvimaki on Dec 30th, 2003, 6:06pm Quote:
Careful. There are exhibitionists among you... Hirvimaki (I neither endorse nor condemn those who have a compulsion to exhibit their genitalia or buttocks or breasts... But if ya got it, FLAUNT IT! (Especially if you are of the mammiferous gender...)) |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by thomas on Dec 30th, 2003, 6:09pm on 12/30/03 at 18:06:49, Hirvimaki wrote:
EUREKA, that's the missing link we're all oversexed. Sorry for jumping in on "Old Man and the Sea". I'm leaving now. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 30th, 2003, 7:06pm I know y'all hate me, but land sakes. Goddammit, now you'll have to rifle thru all the aforementioned poo poo to get the skinny on my steroid usage. It'll be fun!! |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Jayne on Dec 30th, 2003, 7:10pm Hey Brain....I'm listening!!! Please continue your story. You make me chortle. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 30th, 2003, 7:14pm on 12/30/03 at 19:10:09, Jayne wrote:
I'll do the balance of my day today tomorrow and do up to THAT point at the same time. Got some CHOICE items which happened in the grocery store this evening. Suffice it to say the little woman may be doing ALL the shopping by herself henceforth. Ah, yeah. It's good to have the testosterone. So good.... |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by CathiP on Dec 30th, 2003, 8:41pm Eb...this is gonna be a lonnng trip...I jes KNOWS it! B...ya LBB....keep it coming, man....... However, I think your Wagnalls is all funked up! :P [smiley=gocrazy.gif] [smiley=biggrin.gif] [smiley=gocrazy.gif] [smiley=biggrin.gif] [smiley=gocrazy.gif] [smiley=biggrin.gif] Cathi |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by TomM on Dec 30th, 2003, 8:59pm on 12/30/03 at 15:20:23, Brian_Y wrote:
That's IT! I draw the line HERE. ;) TomM |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Charlie on Dec 30th, 2003, 9:28pm Quote:
Good. I looked up a lot of this crap. Why I have no idea but there's about 10 minutes of life I'll never get back. :o Kill me now....... >:( http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/Evil Doers.png Charlie |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Hirvimaki on Dec 30th, 2003, 9:44pm You know, you could always just ASK... Geez! Hirvimaki |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Charlie on Dec 30th, 2003, 10:04pm Damn. I knew it. Not that bright. Yer right. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/DUMBTH.png Charlie |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Peppermint on Dec 30th, 2003, 10:38pm on 12/30/03 at 22:04:21, Charlie wrote:
ROTFF CHarlie!!! ;;D I dont wanna ask Mr. PUCK, Fric (now say that fast 5 times) |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Little Deb on Dec 30th, 2003, 10:52pm Huh [smiley=huh.gif] Don't you all have some testosterone filled males to bash at the grocery store. Did you all notice he said "Little Woman"? What's that all about? Girls....are ya with me or WHAT????????????????????????? [smiley=bash.gif] |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Hirvimaki on Dec 30th, 2003, 10:55pm Not that I am a philologist (OK, I am), nor a philopolemicist, but this is jult plain FUN! (Almost as much fun as reading the OED!) I must set aright an error. I fear in my haste and innattention while at work, I mislabeled myself as a cryptovestiphile, when in fact I am more of a melcryptovestimentaphile. Sorry for the confusion. I wouldn't want to confuse anyone... Now I must away to play. There is frottage to be done. Are you coming Fric? :) Hirvimaki I promise to leave your journal alone now, Brian... |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Melissa on Dec 30th, 2003, 11:00pm I wanna hear about day 2 dammit, when is tomorrow gonna get here?? I am bored and have no one to play with.:'( Maybe I'll just try and pry my fingers from the keyboard and go get some sleep? naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Peppermint on Dec 30th, 2003, 11:04pm on 12/30/03 at 22:55:31, Hirvimaki wrote:
;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] on 12/30/03 at 22:52:24, Little Deb wrote:
Pshaw... aint seen nuffin yet. He'll be on a roll soon...with mustard, mayo and horseradish to boot... once that absinthe gets a hold of 'im... |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Cerberus on Dec 30th, 2003, 11:09pm Yes.............but have you tried the SWORDFISH! Here's another one to look out for: When you wake up running in your sleep, but you are REALLY running and the traffic you pass as you go down the interstate and realize you are still asleep..............................time to taper DOWN! LMMFAO, I'm sorry B can't help it. [smiley=huh.gif] Ramon |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Miklos on Dec 30th, 2003, 11:20pm We already know what the Day 2 journal will say. Day 2: Due to the total lack of respect for the sanctity of my journal, I shall defenestrate myself upon the high altar of Gin_dom, thus preventing the rabble from continuing these meretricious assaults upon my ruminations and peregrinations. Death to hijackers!!! Long live bowties!!! |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by nancyc on Dec 31st, 2003, 12:43am Dammit...Brian....what is happening in your journal...you had me falling out of my chair laughing and then you just stopped [smiley=huh.gif]....I am with Jayne on this, keep writing, bro! :)nancyc |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Woobie on Dec 31st, 2003, 4:35am um......... i think this is the funniest thread in a long time! I am cryin over here! Brian - please continue. I love the way you write. and hirvimaki........... you're killin me! [smiley=crackup.gif] please continue! tina |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Dec 31st, 2003, 9:30am Hey, what the hell happened on Day 2? Did you do something naughty and you can't tell us? We love to hear naughty stuff! I am with Melissa, please post Day 2, NOW. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 31st, 2003, 9:41am Well, today is Day 2. I am gonna post, around lunch what happened to me from the end of my Day 1 post up until when I post the Day 2 stuff at lunch today. And I'll do that for the next ten days. When I come down. And off. Etc. And the fear sets in. And I DO agree: Death to hijackers, long live bow ties!!!! Patience, my minions. Patience... |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Peppermint on Dec 31st, 2003, 9:50am on 12/31/03 at 09:41:43, Brian_Y wrote:
nOoooooooooo............... |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by TomM on Dec 31st, 2003, 9:52am on 12/31/03 at 09:41:43, Brian_Y wrote:
Yet, another boating refernce? ;) |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Dec 31st, 2003, 10:09am I am very concerned about Brian. What is with the minnows and bow ties? |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by brain_cramps on Dec 31st, 2003, 10:54am geeze Hirv (and Miklos) some pretty obscure words! onelook.com is a one-stop dictionary search site that uses at least 25 online dictionaries including: - Merriam-Webster's - dictionary.com - Encarta - Wordsmyth - American Heritage and even your "Grandiloquent Dictionary" ::) kinda funny that the following words did not show up anywhere: - catamidiate - cryptovestiphilia - gynæcomaniac - melcryptovestimentaphile while these only show up in 1: - ecdysiophile - lavacultophilia - philopolemicist IF you did not spell these words correctly in the first place... didn't your mother tell you something about not using words you can't spell? grant (who eschews obfuscation) ;) BTW Brian --- back to your story ;;D |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Miklos on Dec 31st, 2003, 11:06am Grant, go the site below. Become educated, and verify the spelling. It's not like you have a lot to do today. There are new words posted each day, such as inesculent. SPIZZQUIZ (http://www.spizzquiz.net/index.html) |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by brain_cramps on Dec 31st, 2003, 11:17am on 12/31/03 at 11:06:49, Miklos wrote:
Hmmmmmm... I guess you'd like to explain "IPSec Negotiation Configuration options". grant |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 31st, 2003, 11:39am Day 1, continued This is a slow time for the York Man and his quasi-Machiavellian self. A slow time indeed. He is charged with rolling out to the entire Mortgage Division of a bank with assets running near the 10 billion mark, a new web-based software which will make us leaner and meaner and greener. But he is sad. All of the vendors do their software vendor crap-ola and take copious amounts of vacation right around the holiday time and the end of the year time using the excuse that it's Christmas to justify their laziness and spleen-infested ennui. I hate them all equally. So I wile the days away here. I long for the meeting. The MEETING!! The meeting where I poke and prod and cajole and BITE. I long for that magic gathering where I bang my fists on the table of marble and pure hardwood demanding results. At $275 per hour, per jackass, you better have some goddamn results for me. I do not play. But they are all back in their little corporate HQs, leaving the York Man sad, dejected, and alone. Instead, he must compile reports and write change management procedures. He must emblazen the pages of Microsoft Project with his superior knowledge and largesse (yes, largesse). But then he took prednisone. This gave him an opportunity to stew. To look over, yesterday after lunch as El Chico settled in, a bill for upwards of $300,000 for an extended amount of on-site support due to the simple fact their system did not work. So. I am paying YOU for missing our deadline because your system did not work? No, no, no. tsk tsk tsk. My mind begins to play tricks on me. I call a gathering of fellow VPs. I stand at the head of that marble and wood work of art and I tell them, with perfect clarity: "I will rot in hell before I pay one cent of this". They all agree. There is back-slapping and glad-handing. There is a lot of "Hear, Hear!!". I am in my element. But I am alone. Who can take this wrath? I spend the rest of the day composing vitriolic letters of condemnation to the CEO of our poor vendor, splattering the page with words like "insane" and "deliverable" and "piece of shit system". I am rolling. My mind will not stop. And just as I consider going to Delta's web site and flying to Nashville to deliver this letter and my boot in person, my cell rings. It's the wife. The child is ill. Maybe. Can I take her to the doctor. I feel the pulse in my neck. It is racing like a jackhammer. Yes, I'll take her. I need some air. So there is a doctor's visit and there are medicines administered. The wife calls my cell again (the damned things, I hate them). Can I meet her at Publix? Some shopping? OK, I agree. By now, having an easy-going conversation with my daughter on the virtues of pink and green and purple, I am feeling a bit more "normal". Happy even. I am thinking strange thoughts, though. I look at willow trees and suits of armor. I consider my hands. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 31st, 2003, 11:40am More Here... Publix. Oh, my. What a grocery store. Pates and cheeses and breads and meats and cakes. It all looks so good. They are giving away free samples of chevre. It is divine. My mind is racing. We walk up aisle 1, then aisle 2, then aisle 3. This is too much for me. I must break the monotony. I leave the old girl and child in aisle 3. I head over to aisle 4. My mind is so unquiet. Shhhhhhhh. From aisle 4, I shout over to aisle 3: "Hey, Dianna, did you remember to get that Ex Lax? We need the Ex Lax, we ran out and I cannot seem to push this through... Do they have extra strength? God, I wish they carried Colon Blow. That'd be great. You know, I saw this movie once where this guy had Colon Blow and he had to go in a trash can....Dianna? Diannaaaaa?" She is coming down aisle 4 now, quickly. "What in the name of all that is holy are you doing?" "Nuthin". I go to aisle 5. "Dianna," I shout, "do you know if you need tampons? It's like the 30th of the month." Dianna is coming down aisle 5 now. "Shut the fuck up, you rat-eyed freak". "OK, OK, don't get sore" We are going up and down and up and down the aisles. We get to the big, refrigerated section. I am bored. "Dianna, you may want to get another case of beer. You finished that whole one off last night. O, look, Pabst is on sale of $6.99 a case. That's your favorite. Do you want bottles or cans?". Silence. "Honey, bottles or cans? The bottles are a little more expensive and you can't recycle those, but cans are messy too. Since you put cigarettes out in them. Honey? Sweetheart?" I will pay for this, O yes. My daughter Sidney is laughing that little girl laugh that only THEY can achieve. It sounds like this: "Tee Hee. Tee Hee". So we go home and her sister comes over. She's telling me about this American Lit class she is going to take at Carolina this semester. 19th Century American Poets. I break out Leaves of Grass and begin reciting Whitman to her. O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done; The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring: But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead They make me stop. I decide the best thing for me to do is go to my computer and write. I begin a short story. It is very short. It goes nowhere. I have no attention span. Here it is: They emerged from the woods of Jonestown naked and smiling. They looked like music. They needed the sea, but the sea was far away and the tiki lamps lighting their way threw meaningless shadows against thier breasts. They were thirsty. That's as far as I could get. I felt sleepy and dreamt of noise and static and Walt Disney World. My CHs visited me at 3.00 AM, angry. They felt slighted. Steroids, huh? We'll give you your steroids. I dance a bit, bring in the O2. They retreat, broken and tired. As am I. To dreams again of the monoliths at Easter Island. Day 2 I take my 5th Large dose this morning with coffeee and cigarettes. I try to choke some pumpkin bread down. Milk. It tastes vile and eerie. I drive by the lake again and see the boats and the water white capping a bit. Strong weather is coming. A storm. Day 2 to be continued tomorrow and Day 3 begun. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by brain_cramps on Dec 31st, 2003, 12:02pm waaaaaaaaaay too funny, brian i can hardly wait for tomorrow's grant [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Woobie on Dec 31st, 2003, 12:25pm anyone ever tell you that you should write a book or something? |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by nancyc on Dec 31st, 2003, 12:46pm DAMN! I cant wait till tomorrow....This stuff is heavy! maybe you should stay on steriods all the time, Bri. :)nancyc |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by TomM on Dec 31st, 2003, 1:39pm on 12/31/03 at 11:40:55, Brian_Y wrote:
Good stuff, Bee Why. Please continue... |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by kim on Dec 31st, 2003, 2:15pm Howlin Hilda .........so. How's the steroids workin? [smiley=huh.gif] :) |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Dec 31st, 2003, 3:48pm on 12/31/03 at 12:46:30, nancyc wrote:
Indeed. Side Effect # Gazillion: 250 IQ. It won't last, though. You'll see. I am curious what they'll do to me in the end. I am vibrating right now. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by jonny on Dec 31st, 2003, 3:54pm Damn!!!!!....I dont even have to read it I just scroll up and down and it keeps me amused.....LMMFAO ;;D Hey!!, I amuse easy sue me ;;D .................................jonny (Grant, that line about learning how to spell killed me....LOL ;;D) |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by brain_cramps on Dec 31st, 2003, 5:11pm on 12/31/03 at 15:54:17, jonny wrote:
jonny that was only intended for the guys using highfalutin* words that aren't found in most dictionaries. ;) grant HIGHFALUTIN* http://www.hyperdictionary.com/dictionary/highfalutin Pronunciation: `hIfu'lootn Matching Terms: highfaluting WordNet Dictionary Definition:[adj] affectedly, genteel Synonyms:grandiose, hifalutin, highfaluting, hoity-toity, la-di-da, pretentious Related Terms: affected, ambitious, arrogant, aureate, bedizened, big, big-sounding, bombastic, classy, condescending, convoluted, declamatory, domineering, elevated, euphuistic, extravagant, fancy, flamboyant, flaming, flashy, flaunting, florid, flossy, flowery, fulsome, fustian, garish, gassy, gaudy, Gongoresque, grandiloquent, grandiose, grandisonant, haughty, high, highfaluting, high-faluting, high-flowing, high-flown, high-flying, high-headed, high-minded, high-nosed, high-sounding, high-swelling, high-toned, hoity-toity, inflated, inkhorn, Johnsonian, labyrinthine, lexiphanic, lexiphanicism, lofty, lurid, magniloquent, meretricious, oratorical, orotund, ostentatious, overbearing, overdone, overelaborate, overinvolved, overwrought, patronizing, pedantic, pompous, pretentious, proud, purse-proud, rant, rhapsody, rhetoric, rhetorical, rodomontade, sensational, sensationalistic, sententious, showy, sonorous, stilted, stuck-up, superior, swollen, tall, tony, toplofty, tortuous, uppish, uppity, upstage, vaunting, windy [smiley=smug.gif] [smiley=smug.gif] [smiley=smug.gif] [smiley=smug.gif] [smiley=smug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by jonny on Dec 31st, 2003, 5:27pm on 12/31/03 at 17:11:38, brain_cramps wrote:
I know that dude....gotta love them fags, Eh! ;;D ..........................jonny |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by BlueMeanie on Dec 31st, 2003, 6:39pm I gota stay outa thisa one. Dont no no big werds like yer all talkin bout. funny post tho. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 1st, 2004, 6:12pm Day 2, continued... My arrival at work was late and inauspicious. I've become invisible and threatening all at once. It seems strange that one can achieve this level of dualism at such an early stage, but it has happened nevertheless and I take full advantage of it. To do otherwise in a corporate environment is political and career suicide. So it goes. I retreat to my office, shut the door, and compose profanity laden e-mails to my fellow VPs regarding yesterday's meeting RE our vendor and the inevitable debacle to follow. I am gaining a reputation. My face is beginning to flush, quite terribly already, from the effects of the prednisone. My hunger level is increasing. 9.06 AM and I need something to eat. Our Tech Center, being where it is (BFE) I am consigned to the vending machine. Chicken salad sandwich in the triangle package? OK. Not bad, not bad. Another chicken salad sandwich in the triangle package. Mmmm. Not so good, but it's sustenance. I return to my office and I'm writing. And I'm writing some more. And more. It's pouring out of me like ambrosia. My stepbrother sends me an e-mail. "When we gettin' into that absinthe, you magnificent bastard? I'm thirsty"... Me too, brutha. But these damned headaches. How was I chosen for CHs? How was a 5 year old chosen for leukemia? I keep it in perspective. Whining is for the weak and Canadians. I go back and forth between CH.com and another favorite site I visit, discussing this and that reading this and that. I'm clock watching. But I've achieved that special place in physics where my perception of the passage of time does not equal the passage itself. I am boring myself. I wonder about things. I am 36 years old, but I have the sexual desires of an adolescent gibbon. I walk around imagining a tryst here. A tryst there. I remind myself I am taking steroids. This will pass. I wonder what it would feel like to kill a man. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 1st, 2004, 6:16pm More Here... Lunch arrives and it's Arby's today. I'm in the mood for the Big Montana with the curly fries, but the French Dip with Swiss is calling me. So I'm standing in line. Some woman cuts, in effect, up to the front of the line carrying her sandwich. The one she's already bought. I know what's coming. I fucking know it. This obese, polyester adorned, geriatric trailer trash is bitching about the fact her sandwich is too greasy. Too greasy. The prednisone stirs the anger in me. "Oh, I opened this here thang and it was all greezy on the bottom and I'll jist take one uh them thar regler roas' beef sammiches". I am incensed by this. This woman has lard stains around the corners of her mouth and she's whining about grease (or, might it be that delectable juice Arby's marinates their sweet meat in? Who knows?)?!! I feel my blood pressure rise. And like all good rednecks, her justification to the broken, bitter manager drones on and on and on and on and on. I listen to all of it. I wonder what it would feel like to kill a woman? My French dip sandwich is exquisite. The day goes on. I make vague references to people I know about my heart rate. I hear ladybugs crawling on the window of my office. It's 3.45. Home. The rest of the night is spent watching Spongebob Squarepants. Our babysitter, having jacked the wife and I at the 11th hour, we are consigned to spending the evening in. The absinthe looks at me from around the corner. I fall asleep around 11.30. I dream of bees. Day 3 Coffee. Cigarettes. Prednisone. Pumpkin Bread and butter, slightly warmed. It is in the mid 30's outdoors. I survey my kingdom, my backyard. My cat rubs against my leg, purring. The breeze stirs my hair. It is early. It is the first day of 2004. I want to see the moon as blood. Rest of Day 3, Day 4 beginning tomorrow |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Woobie on Jan 1st, 2004, 6:26pm Awesome!! |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Not4Hire on Jan 1st, 2004, 7:51pm BC quoted: Quote:
the only one that doesn't *fit*.... is tall i have it from unnamed sources that he's really 4'17"....without the cuban heels. this part DOES trouble me though: "the tiki lamps lighting their way threw meaningless shadows against thier breasts. They were thirsty. " |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by nancyc on Jan 2nd, 2004, 1:38am Bri, what the hell are you doing????? You dont need that job...you need to write a book....I am in awe of you. Thanks for the inspiration, the laughs and the tears as i read your post today....You are so damn talented (even if you are on prednisone) ...I have to nominate this as the best post of the year! :)nancyc |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 2nd, 2004, 7:06pm I have much to tell. I may get this in tonight. I may not. I'll do the rest of Day 3 and all of Day 4 as soon as possible. Life is very long when you're lonely. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Donna_D. on Jan 2nd, 2004, 8:19pm Brian, There is no getting around it. There is no denying it. You have been caught in the act. I have only one question... ...and it is a BIG ONE. What will YOU be writing for the next issue of the OUCH Newsletter? [smiley=smug.gif] Donna D. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 2nd, 2004, 8:23pm I'll write whatever y'all want me to. Just lemme know... |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by OneEyeBlind on Jan 3rd, 2004, 12:13am Ok, laughed till I pissed myself. I've changed my panties now ........ please continue ! |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Melissa on Jan 3rd, 2004, 11:04am Brian, I so enjoy reading your daily activities. Nothing like Arby's regulars and strange dreams, not to mention an active mind. Reminds me so much of my own life experiences. Keep going... :) |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Jan 3rd, 2004, 11:25am I love Arby's! However I don't understand why a fat, polyester clad, redneck would be concerned about grease. I mean polyester doesn't stain, might melt though. Of course this is probably one of those people that ordered everything fattening on the menu and a small Diet Coke. Brian you should publish your steroid journal. Great entertainment for us or maybe we need to get lives. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 3rd, 2004, 6:01pm Day 3 continued I spent the rest of the day in a semi-haze. I went to bed late, as mentioned, woke up late for me (7.30 AM), and milled about the house. I looked at the mess I had created. I looked at the mess my child had created and I felt demotivated. Sunken. Not enough time in the day to do what I want to do. Not enough time in this life to do what I want to do. But I slept the night through. That was one thing. Something I should be thankful for. But I am not. Around noon that day, I receive a call from my brother telling me that our mother has been moved from ICU to a "regular" room. He gives me the room number and when they'll be actually moving her (this was forthcoming). I am pleased by this news, but apprehensive still. A chronic and insufferable disease which will never, ever let go has grabbed her. It has settled in. She has been given a reprieve. He asks me if I am coming to the hospital (some 80 miles away) the next day. I say I am and we say our goodbyes. The Yorks, as you have surmised, are not a close bunch. We spend time together during the holidays drinking whiskey sours and shaking our collective heads at the neighbors. Subconsciously, I think we all wish we were someplace else. But we have been thrust together and we have been thrust together with a purpose. The holidays, the purpose is the holiday. My mother's decline and fall has brought my brother and me together. I remember, after having ridden in the ambulance with her the first day she was brought in, after we had ascended in the elevator to the 5th floor (ICU), and we had had our conversations with the doctor, my brother stares off into the distance for what seems like 20 minutes, turns to me and says, "Well...Very good. Shall we go, then?" Yes, I think that would be a fine idea. Day 4 This is the last day of the strong doses of the prednisone. After today, I begin the taper down. I am not feeling well. In fact, my mind turns inward. It is betraying me. How odd that just days before the words and the power and the very fiber that was my being poured from me like a symphony. Today, it is the funereal dirge. I am going to visit mother today. I drop the wife off at the Volvo dealership (Volvo needs some scheduled maintenance), they supply her with a nice 740i BMW to drive until the next day, and I make my way to Charlotte, NC. I ride with David Bowie and Vic Chestnutt and a collection of ambrosia-voiced Celtic women. Bowie tells me "Understanding comes with death's release". Indeed. The hospital is vibrant today. Alive. This Fujiian strain of the flu has gripped the Queen City like a vice. Truth be known, this is the third hospital (and last, obviously) they had to admit my mother into. Everywhere else was full. The Middle Ages with traffic lights. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 3rd, 2004, 6:05pm More Here When I reach her room, she is half-sitting in the bed. She stares at me vacantly, not clear who I am. It dawns on her and she is happy. She is struggling to breathe. But she welcomes me in and I sit. I tell her of the Nutcracker Ballet and Christmas and the inevitability of 2004. The absence of champagne. A spat I am having with a friend. It is pleasant. But she begins to drift off and I am left there, alone, with her. I have not known many things in this life as lonely as Cluster Headaches. They are not quiet. They howl like sunspots in my mind, but they are so, so lonely. I have gnawed at the foot of chairs and tables like an animal while being visited by them and yet the tremor of the universe tells me that I there by myself. And like a silent film, the scene arises up and up and up until no one can hear me any longer. And I disappear, a speck of dust in the infinity. The North Carolina wind stirs a bare branch outside of her window. It is as silent as the tomb. A machine by her bedside hums and clicks and pushes medication into her waiting and fragile veins. I place my hands on her arm and it is as dry as paper. I lean in to hear her breathe and I can feel this monster inside of my head aching. Bargaining with me. "Shhhh", I whisper. You'll be back soon enough. My drive back was sad and reflective. I had "borrowed" some valium from a caring and benevolent relative. It keeps me quiet. And I keep telling the beast to hush. Hush. I know you are there. But do you not feel the steroids, do you? You are doing battle with them and it is all I can to do simply hope they retreat. Find some other perch. Arriving home, we are off again to the brother and sister in-laws. Barbeque and Frogmore Stew (shrimp, sausage, potatoes, corn on the cob--A South Carolina favorite). I eat like it is a last meal. 3 sandwiches, 20 or so shrimp. Lots of sausage. Sweet Coca-Cola. In some catatonic state, I watch Clemson beat Tennessee in the Peach Bowl. I am saddened by this. Clemson. I spit on your institution of higher learning. Phooey. We are back at the house late. My child is a doll in my arms, I carry her small frame to the bed, undress her, and place her beneath the blankets. I watch her for what seems like hours. I touch her cheek. So soft. Later that night as I lie in bed and dreams begin to overtake me, I keep thinking of my mother. She grasped the side of the bed, claiming the need to get comfortable. I thought momentarily she was crawling back to me from some unknown place. My sleep was deep and disturbed. And then around 2.00 AM, my eyes pop open. He is back. ....continued |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by BlueMeanie on Jan 3rd, 2004, 7:05pm Wondering. Waiting. Waiting with anticipation. Will when the next day get here ? Great Job Brian. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by nancyc on Jan 4th, 2004, 2:08pm OK, BRI....it is after 2pm on the 4th....post! WHERE are YOU? :)nancyc |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Woobie on Jan 4th, 2004, 2:11pm NO SHIT! anticipation is KILLIN me! >:( HURRY UP! ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Jan 5th, 2004, 11:43am Frogmore stew? On the coast of NC we call it a Carolina Bucket and it is served in a 5 gallon bucket. Depending on time of year we also add oysters and clams. I am really hungry now. Will you please tell us some more? |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by nancyc on Jan 5th, 2004, 12:36pm OK, BRI, you have had enough of a break...where the hell are you? You got me worried now...dont make me come looking for you. :)nancyc |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Jayne on Jan 5th, 2004, 12:49pm Brian...you should be taking something else apart from steroids alone.........VERAPAMIL!!!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 5th, 2004, 1:25pm Things are not going so well. Not in any context. I am working on completion of these things. I am working on them, but I am..alive... Jello Boy |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Jan 5th, 2004, 1:26pm What flavor of Jello? |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 5th, 2004, 3:24pm on 01/05/04 at 13:26:34, Paigelle wrote:
Spleen |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Jan 5th, 2004, 3:28pm [smiley=hurl.gif] |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 5th, 2004, 3:49pm I gotta announce a couple of things here... 1. I know this is annoying. I know I am annoying. I thought it might be fun, but now it appears to be tedious. (Don't everyone drown out my explanations with your applause!!). 2. These goddamn steroids? They are not working. I am being lambasted by the CH bomb. So it's not fun anymore. 3. No one wants to read allegories all the time. It's not fun. You want an allegory? Go read Beowulf. Good stuff. Or the Orlando Furioso. Nothing'll get your mind right like an epic poem about Christians and Muslims goin' mano a mano. I have enjoyed this, tho... Piece!! B |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Jan 5th, 2004, 3:55pm Oh Brian, I am so sorry the prednisone isn't helping you. It helped me the first time I took it which was 2 years ago. This time it worked until I started the taper and it started all over again. Are you taking anything else? |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 5th, 2004, 4:04pm Neuro is gonna go the Verapamil route now (there ya go, Jayne, now stop calling my house and sending threatening letters to me). He also gave me the green light on splitting Imitrex shots (he said he had not considered doing that, but thought it was a fine idea). See I am irritated because if I do not get rid of these before I go to the Bahamas, I am gonna be pissed. And when I get back from there, I am headed to Vegas for a Bachelor party with old prep school chums. DO you think alcohol will need to be consumed there? Also, I need these pants.... http://www.loudmouthgolf.com/DotsPants.jpg |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Miklos on Jan 5th, 2004, 4:20pm I assume that you are as slim as the model? Larger sizes might be mind boggling. Plus, I don't think there is a bow tie on earth that could be safely worn with those pants. In any case, if you wear them, no one will care if you drink or not. The glare will prevent them seeing -anything- that you might do. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by BlueMeanie on Jan 5th, 2004, 5:34pm on 01/05/04 at 16:20:59, Miklos wrote:
Brian, hope you're doing better. None of us can write a damn thing in that condition. Hell, I can't even write without a CH. Bright blue bow-tie will work with those pants. Trust me. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Paigelle on Jan 5th, 2004, 5:38pm Brian I want you to feel better. Sometimes I wish I was a witch and I could cast spells to get rid of these damn headaches. I guess I could try anyway, I have been called something that rhymes with witch. You have got to try the verapamil, I hope the dosage works for you. I am glad to hear about the imitrex also. Do you have any O2? I haven't had O2, but it seems to help so many people. Now about the pants...we really need to talk about this. I think the pants might be a trigger. Maybe not for CH, but definitely for something. If getting those pants would make you feel better, I would make you a pair. |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Jayne on Jan 5th, 2004, 6:13pm Good Brian!!!! Now I can get out of these bushes in your back garden. We will all want to know what dosage of verapamil he puts you on please Brian or I will come back to your house and hide in the bushes in your front garden >:( It does take 7- 10 days to get into your system. When is he going to put you on it huh? huh? huh? |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Woobie on Jan 5th, 2004, 6:43pm Brian -- I'm sorry you're having a hard time! That sucks!! I hope it gets better!! Keep us informed! I hope your trip to the Bahamas is fun (jealous!!!) and then to vegas........(jealous again!) ... kick some beast ass --- wuddya? tina |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by don on Jan 5th, 2004, 7:15pm Hunter Thompson revisited. Fucking superb! |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by Brian_Y on Jan 5th, 2004, 8:49pm I am glad y'all enjoyed it while it lasted. Don, I appreciate the words. Means a lot to me. You have NO idea. Also, ya know, what fun is it to read about how the steroids are NOT working and meditations on how much it sucks to be me. Wait a minute. It doesn't suck to be me at all. Sure I have CHs and they are being ruthless right now, but in a couple of months down here in Dixie, I'll have a gin and tonic in one hand, a Cohiba in the other, and my nine iron leaning on my hip as I look into the deep, blue sky. B |
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Title: Re: Brian's Steroid Journal Post by don on Jan 5th, 2004, 9:36pm The Fear. The Loathing. The Songs of the Doomed! |
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