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Title: Moooooo Post by Sisyphus on Nov 17th, 2004, 12:31am Into the pub crept the farmer, he tried to get to the bar unseen but one of his mates saw him and said, "Well what's been going on here then. Been in the wars Albert?" "Quiet Ben, I don't want to draw attention do I" the farmer replied trying to hide the two stunning black eyes he had. "What happened mate" asked Ben. "Oh I can't say, it's embarresing, humiliating, I can't tell anyone" "But we've been mates for years, at school together since we were nippers, you can trust me Albert. Come on mate... tell your old friend." "Well alright but promise never to say a word" Ben swore over a pint of strong ale that he would carry this tale to the grave, though as you may suspect he failed to keep that promise! "Well," began Albert, "You know that old cow of mine, the old freisian, Ermintrude I call her. Stubborn she is but I love her for her character and she's always been a good milker. Yes, rather fond of Ermintrude I am even though shes mostly trouble. Well I was milking her last evening, had just set up the bucket and got the flow going when she raised her leg sharp like. I had to jump back or she'd have knocked me clean into next week. Then down she brings her hoof and knocks over the bucket." "You don't say" says Ben. "Well I sets it up again and after a few minutes the crafty cow pulls the same trick and fairly knocks my hat off in the process." "I see" Ben mutters as he sups his ale. "So I thought 'bugger this' and I gets a bit of bailertwine and ties her leg to the side of the stall, let's see you kick out now my lass, I says." "What happened then?" asks his friend. "I starts to milk her again and the cantankerous bitch only kicks the bucket over with her other leg. She gave it such a kick that her hoof just missed my head by inches. So I just up and get more bailertwine and ties her other leg to the other side of the stall. There, get out of that my lass says I" "I see" says Ben shaking his head in disbelief. "So then I gets to milking once again and I'll be a turnip headed scarecrow if it isn't swish with the tail and over goes the bucket." "No, never." says Ben. "No see here my lass, says I, and whips out some more bailertwine, grabs hold of her tail and begins to tie it up to the rafter above the stall and that's when the wife came in and gave me these two black eyes" |
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Title: Re: Moooooo Post by Ronny on Nov 20th, 2004, 8:58pm Moohoohoo |
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