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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Shower like a woman
        
(Message started by: ClusterCowboy on Nov 11^th, 2004, 10:58am)

Title: Shower like a woman
Post by ClusterCowboy on Nov 11^th, 2004, 10:58am

How To Shower Like A Woman [smiley=laugh.gif]

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber> and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Washyour hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like A Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.[smiley=laugh.gif]

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day !!

Title: Re: Shower like a woman
Post by E-Double on Nov 11^th, 2004, 3:47pm

[smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Shower like a woman
Post by AussieBrian on Nov 11^th, 2004, 6:32pm

Weve been warned about a peeping-tom around the neighbourhood, too, and now I think I know who it is!

Title: Re: Shower like a woman
Post by ArCane on Nov 12^th, 2004, 1:16pm

[smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Shower like a woman
Post by Biker on Nov 13^th, 2004, 8:39am

Ya'll must live in town. Friggin city folk anyway.

Ya forgot about the part of placing a mirror on the floor so she can squat, and look at her underside.

Title: Re: Shower like a woman
Post by ClusterCowboy on Nov 13^th, 2004, 6:04pm

on 11/13/04 at 08:39:05, Biker wrote:

Ya'll must live in town. Friggin city folk anyway.

Ya forgot about the part of placing a mirror on the floor so she can squat, and look at her underside.

Nope...ain't city folk, way out in the country to boot, I jus' forgot 'bout the mirror! Good call!