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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Why did the chicken cross the road?
        
(Message started by: BobG on Nov 6^th, 2004, 2:21pm)

Title: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Post by BobG on Nov 6^th, 2004, 2:21pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?

George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Dick Cheney's Answer:
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need
help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the
road myself.

Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Senator Lieberman's Answer:
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in
his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no
chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own
way.

Colin Powell 's Answer:
This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to cross the road voluntarily.

Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?

Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Rush Limbaugh's Answer:
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side.".

The Bible's Answer:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Grumpy BobG’s answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Title: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Post by Tetris-addict on Nov 6^th, 2004, 2:30pm

The chicken crossed the road.....

to smack you

and then he went back to sleep with your mama

Naturalist view :
The chicken crossed the road because
instinct told him to. Possibly his parents had
crossed the same road before and it was
imprinted in his genes. He was fated to cross.....

Behaviorist view:
the chicken had seen other chickens cross, and
get food or sex. So when he got the chance
he had to cross the road. Jsut to discover the
rewards of change.

Nurture View:
His mother called him to....

Non-Comformist view:
All the other chickens were not crossing the road
so one day he decided he had to. Just so he would
not die and be remembered for being as dumb
as the other chickens.....