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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> oldies
        
(Message started by: Lapsi_Harmaahapsi on Oct 29^th, 2004, 3:10am)

Title: oldies
Post by Lapsi_Harmaahapsi on Oct 29^th, 2004, 3:10am

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4a. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't
serve food in here."

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer for me please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this
taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of home. The
doctor
replies, "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is that common?", asks the
man. Says the doc,"It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
to look at either.

11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

12. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

13. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"

14. I went to a seafood disco last week..... and pulled a mussel.

15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire
in the
craft. It sank, which proves that you can't have your kayak and heat it
too.

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Title: Re: oldies
Post by sandie99 on Oct 29^th, 2004, 3:39am

;;D

Title: Re: oldies
Post by BobG on Oct 30^th, 2004, 12:23am

ROTFLMAO! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Now have to clean the coffee off my monitor.

Title: Re: oldies
Post by Jimmy_B on Nov 4^th, 2004, 9:48am

a piece of string...(cut in half, & tied at the ends) walks into a bar. The bartender asks "are you a piece of string?"

the string says "no...I'm a frayed knot."

da dum dum