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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Dubya & friends
        
(Message started by: JDH on Oct 15^th, 2004, 11:56pm)

Title: Dubya & friends
Post by JDH on Oct 15^th, 2004, 11:56pm

Top 11 reasons Dubya has not attended a funeral or memorial of any soldier killed in action during his presidency.

1. Dubya's new policy forbids coverage of arriving coffins at military bases, if Dubya were to attend, there would be media, ergo, he cannot attend.

2. So what if every other president has done it. If every previous president jumped in the lake, would he have to do that?

3. Hugging is what GOVERNORS do.

4. We're fighting this war with Clinton's armed forces, let him go.

5. Emotional scars from intermittent service in Texas Air National Guard are still too deep. ;;D

6. Funerals generally poor opportunity to solicit campaign contributions.

7. Funny, so far none of those making the ultimate sacrifice have been related to anyone in the administration. [smiley=huh.gif]

8. Like Donald Rumsfeld, trying to distance himself from the administration.

9. When you take 300 days off in three years, it's difficult to squeeze in ceremonial stuff.

10. Wouldn't get to wear cool flight suit.

11. Difficult to dispatch unsupportive family members to "free speech zones."
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Top 11 reasons not to fire Donald Rumsfeld.

11. Fear of retribution.

10. He was only following orders.

9. He knows where all of the bodies are buried and what parts have been removed to keep Dick Cheney alive.

8. The administration's investigation of Abu Ghraib only found fault with the "Office of The Secretary of Defense," so it's really the building's fault.

7. Rumsfeld is one of the few people in the entire administration with actual military service (albeit non-combat) and he is needed for credibility.

6. As Dubya says: You can't blame the guy at the top for the bad behavior of his immediate subordinates.

5. He's the best hitter on the softball team.

4. He only approved the use of torture that he would want applied to himself.

3. Need to keep him around to take the rap for some really bad stuff yet to be revealed. :o

2. Hasn't the he suffered enough already?

1. If anyone in the administration loses his job, the terrorists win.
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Top 11 things that prove Dick Cheney is not a coward.

11. Cheney relentlessly pursued four educational deferments even while dropping out of college multiple times.

10. Courage under fire: "earned" expectant father deferment with child born exactly nine months and two days after that deferment was instituted.

9. During Picture Day on the Senate floor, Cheney told Patrick Leahy to, "go @#$%! himself" with only a 51-48 Republican majority.

8. Has had sex with Lynne Cheney. At least twice. [smiley=hurl.gif]

7. The "other priorities" Cheney cited on his military deferment applications included: slaying dragons, tracking the wolfman and keeping Dracula out of Wyoming.

6. Sure, he only hunts birds, but what would prevent a wounded duck from charging?

5. When Satan calls, Dick Cheney doesn't just let the machine get it.

4. Cheney has the fortitude to say no to corporate contributors when their demands are not in the public interest. He just chooses not to.

3. Have you ever eaten a baby? It's not a delicacy for the squeamish.

2. His heart is purple.

1. Getting five deferments isn't cowardly. Ask John Ashcroft about his seven deferments. ;)

Title: Re: Dubya & friends
Post by nani on Oct 16^th, 2004, 12:11pm

[smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Dubya & friends
Post by IndianaJohn on Oct 18^th, 2004, 7:55pm

[smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Dubya & friends
Post by sandie99 on Oct 21^st, 2004, 9:25am

[smiley=laugh.gif]
I just love political jokes when I'm having CH attack... ;;D