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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Funny Bumper Stickers
        
(Message started by: broomhilda on Sep 6th, 2004, 12:03am)
Title: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by broomhilda on Sep 6th, 2004, 12:03am
Bitchy Bumper Stickers

1.Constipated People Don't Give A Shit

2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself

3. If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People

4. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut

5. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point

6. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

7. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

8. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

9. To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing..

10. If At First You Don't Succeed .. Blame Someone Else, then Seek  Counseling.

11. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"

12. If You Can Read This,  I've Lost My Trailer.

13. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

14. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass..

15. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

16.The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.

17. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.

18. So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.

19. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

20. Eat Right,  Exercise,  Die Anyway.

21. Cover Me,  I'm Changing Lanes.

22. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.

23. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

24. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

25. It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.

26. [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]  If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off.

27. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.

28. Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!

29. Remember Folks --- Stop Lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.

30. [Reported to be seen In a Restaurant's Window]
Guys --- No Shirt, No Service
Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge

31. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?

32. Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.

33. Cat --- The Other White Meat.

34. Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!

35. Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.

36. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

37. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

38. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.

39. Saw It ... Wanted It .. Had A Fit ... Got It!


;;D
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by BobG on Sep 6th, 2004, 4:00am
#6 is right on.  >:(

People with cell phones should be shot dead!

All the others are funny. Especially #39. That's my grandsons. Spoiled little brats.  ;)
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by Jaime on Sep 6th, 2004, 7:28am
I have some bumper stickers on my car I really like. Here are my favorites;

"When Jesus said 'Love your enemies' I think he probably meant 'Don't Kill Them'"

The problems we face today will not be solved by the minds that created them.
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by clarence on Sep 6th, 2004, 7:36am
With reference to number 36, I saw one that answers it:

If we aren't supposed to eat animals why are they made out of meat?

I liked that one.

Casey
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by IndianaJohn on Sep 6th, 2004, 8:34am
How about:

Don't bother explaining because I don't care.
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by Redrum on Sep 7th, 2004, 10:55am
....Are you out of blinker fluid?....
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by vietvet2tours on Sep 7th, 2004, 5:19pm
save a mouse eat a p-ssy
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by Biker on Sep 9th, 2004, 10:33pm
Only users loose drugs

Rehab is for quitters
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by alleyoop on Sep 10th, 2004, 12:25am
Seen on an old farm truck in south Georgia shortly before the state voted in the lottery:

"Legalize Gambling! Why should farmers have all the fun?"

Seen on a new convertible Mercedes Benz being driven by a beautiful blonde:

"Not All Blondes Are Dumb!"

The bumper sticker had been placed on the bumper upside-down!

..................................alley ;;D
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by unsolved1 on Sep 13th, 2004, 2:21am
My sister actually has the #13 bumper sticker on her car now !!

Unsolved
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:58pm
On my Jeep: "God was my copilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him." and it features a sheepishly smiling happy face, dabbing his mouth with a napkin.  [smiley=laugh.gif]

The other one says simply, "Don't Be A Dick."

<----Going to Hell


How about a few more?

"Asphalt is not a rectal disorder."

"When I grow up, I wanna be Barbie. (The bitch has EVERYTHING!)"

"My Jeep is not an SUV and your SUV is not a Jeep!"

"Don't Follow Me: You Won't Make It."

"It used to be sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. Now it's beer, the old lady, and the television."

"Keep honking. I'm just reloading."

My front license plate: Black letters on a plain white plate: STFU

[smiley=laugh.gif]
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by BobG on Sep 23rd, 2004, 12:49am
"My Jeep is not an SUV and your SUV is not a Jeep!"


http://www.nationaltbucketalliance.com/bbsimages/T03-954/woman23.jpg
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:21am
How in the...? What the....? LMAO!! So many grossly stupid people, so little time to laugh at them all... LOL!  [smiley=laugh.gif]
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Oct 1st, 2004, 11:59am
My bosses bumper sticker....

Where are we going? Why am I in this handbascket?
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by ArCane on Oct 1st, 2004, 12:23pm
I saw a good bumper sticker the other day it said:

"Warning: In case of Rapture this car will be unmanned."
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by Jeepgun on Oct 1st, 2004, 12:27pm
Um... Were they driving a nice car?  ;;D
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by inyoureye on Nov 10th, 2004, 6:54pm
Eat a vegetarian!:)
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by PittsburghJoe on Nov 11th, 2004, 9:35am
In case of Rapture: Can I have your car?

Jesus is coming. Look busy!
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by LeLimey on Nov 11th, 2004, 9:39am
I was grinning before I opened this thread knowing what was coming! Thank you all for a thumping good giggle!!
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by AussieBrian on Nov 11th, 2004, 6:38pm
"Honk if you've never seen an Uzi"
Title: Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
Post by sandie99 on Nov 12th, 2004, 2:58am
[smiley=crackup.gif]

Nice start to my busy day!
Thanks.  ;;D


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