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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> alternate meanings 
        
(Message started by: BobG on Aug 30^th, 2004, 3:06pm)

Title: alternate meanings
Post by BobG on Aug 30^th, 2004, 3:06pm

The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest:

•coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon

•flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained

•abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

•esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
•willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

•negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie

•lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp

•gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash

•flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller

•balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline

•testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam

•rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you

•oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions

•circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts

•pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist

Title: Re: alternate meanings
Post by yikes_another_one on Oct 7^th, 2004, 9:53pm

;;D

Title: Re: alternate meanings
Post by Jeepgun on Oct 15^th, 2004, 2:07pm

Incorrigible: (adj.) Metal that is not able to be corrugated.

Brassiere: (adj.) Alloys containing a higher content of brass.

Isometrics: (v.) The act of flipping a pillow over to find the cool spot, or shifting one's feet/legs for the same reason.

Exfoliate: (v.) Pulling dead leaves off tree branches.