Clusterheadaches.com Message Board (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Updated May 6The Dopeymax Report
(Message started by: randyg2 on May 1st, 2004, 11:21am)

Title: Updated May 6The Dopeymax Report
Post by randyg2 on May 1st, 2004, 11:21am
UPDATE
May, 6, 2004
Dear Dr. XXXXX,
Well I agree with you, I am making no sense on the telephone, so I will stop taking the Topomax.

I wanted to change the O2 therapy and up the ante to the correct delivery system.  The big bertha of tanks and mask combo. Get rid of that silly canula and start killing the beast in its tracks.

I called the Oxygen company and was told the respiratory therapist refused to give  her permission for a high flow tank with a non rebreather mask, even though you had ordered it.  She said it was too dangerous.  I called and asked the manager if she had had any experience treating cluster headaches, and he replied she had not and he confided the young lady had been very sarcastic about the fact that I had gotten the O2 article, which I faxed them, from my cluster headache support website.

I was even more sarcastic in a cover page  when I faxed back the support  data,which I had retreived from the Cleveland Clinic, Yale Healthcare website, and SUNY website supporting our OUCH O2 therapy.  Oh yeah and when I spoke to Bill Dubbs a director in Texas, at the American Association of Respiratory Care who suggested that any entry level respiratory therapist should have known that this was the only effective delivery method for this type of treatment.

I am leaving the house now.  Check the local news tonight as I may be down at Mediworld Kicking bony respriatory therapist ass and taking names if I do not get my killer tank and non rebreather mask!  

Give someone a pair of green scrubs and some static free shoes and they become  hyberbolic nazis! "NO O2 FOR YOU!"

By the way.....found the cat.

My eminent neurologist wants me to email him regarding my progress under his care.  This is infinitely easier than running the telephone gauntlet of his fat ugly  'trade school ancillary staff" who can spell neither Depakote nor Lithium.  I agreed. Seemed like a good choice.

So I started sending him emails with the subject line titled The Topamax Report.

After about 3 days I realized I had to rename the thing the Dopeymax Report as I was turning into either an eggplant or Boo Radley.

Not that I think he ever read these reports, as he never addressed any of my questions about ramping up et al.

Here are some excerpts. I will keep updating this from time to time to keep you smiling.... enjoy...

April 29, 2004
Dr. XXXXXXX,  
Latest update:
I am concerned, as the tingling in my hands has now spread to my face.  Do you know if it will spread any further?  Not that I am complaining, mind you, but I wouldn't mind if it settled in my nether regions.  This way I could get rid of my vibrator and save on electricity.........

Also, I seem to have lost the TV remote control - don't really need it- what with the blurry vision and all, but I am worried as I can't seem to remember where I last saw the cat.......she may be in the fridge.......haven't  looked in there in days..........THAT IS A GOOD SIDE EFFECT RIGHT? This should help take off that 20 pounds I gained when we tried the prednisone treatment that didn't work.

And I wowed them at jury duty.  I was in a prospective juror pool and  during 'Voir Dire' we were being asked about this particular case where the defendant was on trial for felony DUI. Well, when they got to me I was excused immediately as they thought I WAS DRUNK! As I left the courtroom I swear I could hear the judge whispering  "Run Forrest Run!"  What a great way to get out of JURY DUTY!  Can you get me a prescription for my friend Debbie?  She has jury duty next week.

By the way you never addressed the question I sent you about the CO Q 10, Magnesium, or Melatonin, therapies.  Do you want me to send you the research?  They are not prescription medications and not expensive, ergo you may not have any information about them.

By the way thanks for the sample of the Amerge.  Color me surprised when I opened that big box and found 1 little pill!  Such a big box for such small pill.  I wondered why Glaxo would spend so much money to package and market a sample like that!  Color me even more surprised when the pill worked.  Color me ‘STOOOPOFIED’ when I got the script filled and ‘the little pill that could’ cost $20.00.  I told my pharmacist, “Hey for twenty bucks I should at least be getting high”!

Oh, yes next week I will be in Tijuana, well right outside just on the American side for about 3 hours, just long enough to pimp myself out to make enough money to cross over into Mexico and buy the Amerge for about $10 a pop.

I may miss writing a progress report but promise to make it up when I get back, if I don’t get busted coming back with 50 tabs of hot Mexican Amerge.
Sincerely,'
XXXXX G.

(I swear every incident is true, perhaps embelished, except for the cat, who will not come near me since I started taking the Dopeymax.......smart creatures!).
please keep smiling through your tears.

Title: Re: The Dopeymax Report
Post by Karla on May 1st, 2004, 5:12pm
Thanks for sharing a good laugh.  Sorry your going through such a hard time with this med.  Ive been there and done that.

Title: Re: The Dopeymax Report
Post by Samantha_Smith on May 2nd, 2004, 9:08pm
LMAO!!!! Oh the tears running down my face. Thank you so much for posting! You totally made it worth while to get out of bed this morning.  Samantha

Title: Re: The Dopeymax Report
Post by Gena on May 3rd, 2004, 11:26am
[smiley=ohjez.gif]



Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1!
YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved.