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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> just a few jokes
        
(Message started by: no-one on Apr 16^th, 2004, 1:13pm)

Title: just a few jokes
Post by no-one on Apr 16^th, 2004, 1:13pm

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
>
>1. All the DNA is the same.
>
>2. There are no dental records.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
>
>it'll take to fly from San Francisco to Ne w York City?"
>
>The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
>
>"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
>
>___________________________________________________________________________
>
>Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
>
>"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
>
>"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
>
>"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
>
>"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
>
>___________________________________________________________________________
>
>The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock.
>
>___________________________________________________________________________
>New Sex Study...
>
>It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married
>
>couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife
>
>rolls over and plays dead.
>
>___________________________________________________________________________
>
>This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
>the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of
>him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
>
>The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start
>by buying me a drink."
>___________________________________________________________________________
>
>Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
>
>Joe: "Really?"
>
>Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
>
>___________________________________________________________________________
>
>A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
>feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-w ord the doctor used in
>surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.
>
>"OOPS!"
>
>___________________________________________________________________________
>
>While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display
>of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds
>since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
>
>"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
>
>"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
>___________________________________________________________________________
>
>Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped
>the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
>
>He said, "I did that by accident."
>
>She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
>
>He replied, "How did you know?"
>
>She said, "Because you didn't say "not a very nice person!" afterwards
>

Title: Re: just a few jokes
Post by bobkip on Apr 20^th, 2004, 7:53pm

Good ones Becky, thx.
Kip