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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> jokes for 3-11
        
(Message started by: FZfan on Mar 12^th, 2004, 12:17am)

Title: jokes for 3-11
Post by FZfan on Mar 12^th, 2004, 12:17am

The college sophomore advises his freshman buddy, "Look, Jim, if you want to succeed with a woman, take her out somewhere lonely, unzip your fly, pull it out, and put her hand on it. It always works for me!" On the younger man's very next date, as soon as they get to the drive-in movie, he follows his buddy's advice. "Ewk!" shrieks his date. "How embarrassing! Take me home right now!" So he does. The ten-mile drive back to her house is stone silent all the way. As he pulls into her driveway, she glares at him. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" she barks. "Uh, yeah. Would you mind letting go of it now?"

A little old lady in a nursing home raises her fist. "Whoever can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight." A little old man across the room yells, "An elephant!" She yells back, "Close enough!"

How is sex like math? Add two bodies, subtract some clothing, divide the legs, and multiply!

A traveling saleswoman driving through Northern Arizona spies an elderly Native American woman walking along the road. Thinking a little company would pass the time, she stopped and offered a ride. After some small talk, the Indian woman noticed a brown bag on the front floor. "What's in the bag?" asks the Indian. "Oh, that's a bottle of wine; I got it for my husband." The Indian woman grunted, "Good trade!"

A birch tree and a beech tree grew tall in the woods when a small tree started to grow between them. The beech asked the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch doesn't know. Soon a woodpecker landed on the small sapling. The birch said, "Woodpecker, you're a tree expert. Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker took a taste. "It's neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, but rather, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in!"