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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Husband and Wife...
        
(Message started by: kim on Feb 13^th, 2004, 9:06am)

Title: Husband and Wife...
Post by kim on Feb 13^th, 2004, 9:06am

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items
the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her
wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set
in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV
remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband
refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this
was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling
hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the
instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives
know the things that are important to each other." He
addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's
favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's
arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop
right here.

Subject: wife v/s husband!
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives
of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The
wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, "What?"

STUPID AND BEATIFUL
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same
time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God
made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God
made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Title: Re: Husband and Wife...
Post by Edski_1 on Feb 16^th, 2004, 4:19pm

Marriage seminar made me LOL :)