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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> A Dog's Letter to God
        
(Message started by: frenzik on Sep 15^th, 2003, 8:41pm)

Title: A Dog's Letter to God
Post by frenzik on Sep 15^th, 2003, 8:41pm

Dear God,

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

I will not throw up in Mama's truck or Dad's new car.

I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dear God,

May I please have my testicles back?

Amen.

Title: Re: A Dog's Letter to God
Post by Callico_Kid on Nov 8^th, 2003, 1:00am

THat is the funniest one I have read in a long time! I usually pick up on the punch line long before I get to the end, but that one snuck up on me! I cried with laughter.

Thanks!
jc