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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Beer troubleshooting
        
(Message started by: Tiannia on Sep 8^th, 2003, 6:18pm)

Title: Beer troubleshooting
Post by Tiannia on Sep 8^th, 2003, 6:18pm

Problem: Feet cold and wet.

Cause: Glass being held at incorrect angle.

Problem: Feet warm and wet.

Cause: Improper bladder control.

Problem: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.

Cause: Glass empty.

Problem: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

Cause: You have fallen over backward.

Problem: Mouth contains cigarette butts.

Cause: You have fallen forward.

Problem: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

Cause: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

Problem: Floor blurred.

Cause: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

Problem: Floor moving.

Cause: You are being carried out.

Problem: Room seems unusually dark.

Cause: Bar has closed.

Problem: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

Cause: You are dancing on the table.

Problem: Beer is crystal-clear.

Cause: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.

Problem: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

Cause: You have been in a fight.

Problem: Your singing sounds distorted.

Cause: The beer is too weak.

Problem: Don't remember the words to the song.

Cause: Beer is just right.