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Title: Good Demoncat Post by kim on Jun 28th, 2003, 6:17pm If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, you must have certain basic beliefs: 1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. 2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists. 4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs. 6. You have to be against capital punishment (putting murderers to death) but support abortion (killing innocent unborn babies) on demand (federally funded of course.) 7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. 8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but loony activists from Seattle do. 9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 10. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. 11. You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high. 12. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison. 13. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist but racial quotas are not. 14. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge. 15. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House. 16. You have to believe that homosexual parades should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. 17. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the U.S. 18. You have to believe that gasoline priced at $1.59 per gallon is too expensive but accept bottled spring water at $1.09 per quart as reasonable. 19. You have to believe the purpose of government is to take money from people who earned it and spend it on people who did not earn it. 20. You have to believe in the Democracy but demand only Democrat victories in elections. 21. You have to believe that people who disagree with you are stupid and backward while believing people who agree with you are "progressive" and "enlightened." 22. You have to believe that a "B" average economics major from Yale University with a MBA from Harvard Business School is too stupid to be President of the United States. 23. You have to believe that a "C" average history major from Harvard University, dropout from Vanderbilt Law School and failure at Vanderbilt Divinity School is brilliant and should be President of the United States. 24. You are proud to have Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Bill Clinton in the Democratic Party. 25. You agreed with France's position on the war in Iraq until combat victory was achieved within three weeks. 26. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady. Vote Democratic...It's easier than getting a job! |
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Title: Re: Good Demoncat Post by Brian_Y on Jul 3rd, 2003, 9:44am Why is this in the funnies and jokes section? ;) |
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Title: Re: Good Demoncat Post by kim on Jul 3rd, 2003, 2:17pm Shhhhhh. Don't tell anyone. I didna wanna piss off Ted :D |
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Title: Re: Good Demoncat Post by BobG on Jul 12th, 2003, 8:47am HEY TED! DID YOU SEE WHAT KIM SAID? |
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Title: Re: Good Demoncat Post by goaway on Aug 3rd, 2003, 7:11pm I LOVE this!!! |
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