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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Very funny stuff........LMAO  :)
        
(Message started by: Leesa on Apr 13^th, 2003, 7:20pm)

Title: Very funny stuff........LMAO :)
Post by Leesa on Apr 13^th, 2003, 7:20pm

Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or
>   >that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do....
>   I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
>   and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
>I
>   turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
>   say a word... he knew better.
>   Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX
>   I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
>   I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
>   several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
>   who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,
>I
>   looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
>   Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI
>   Nuts about You
>   My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
>   variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
>   the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
>looking at
>   your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned,
>   and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never
>let
>   me
>   forget.
>   Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD
>   While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>   release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
>hold
>   of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
>patrons. I
>   told her that if she did not start behaving "right now"she would be
>   punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
>just
>   as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
>   that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
>   deafening
>   after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they
>were
>   doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank
>   with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed
>behind
>   me were screams of laughter.
>   Amy Richardson,Stafford, Virginia
>   A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
>   got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price
>   tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and
>   boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,
>TAMPAX
>   SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
>   apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for THUMBTACKS." In a
>   business-like
>   tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU
>PUSH
>   IN
>   WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
>   Diane E. Amov
>   This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
>   embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
>before
>   she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a
>   true story...We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
>supposed
>   to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
>   Bob,where's
>   that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave
>the
>   set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
>
>
>