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Title: Cold Enough fer ya? Post by Charlie on Feb 7th, 2003, 1:56am Official Upstate New York : Temperature Conversion Chart : 60 above : * New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat. : * People in Upstate New York plant gardens. : 50 above : * Californians shiver uncontrollably. : * People in Upstate New York sunbathe. : 40 above : * Italian and English cars won't start. : * People in Upstate New York drive with the : windows down. : 32 above : * Distilled water freezes. : * Sacandaga Lake's water gets thicker. : 20 above : * Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, : gloves and woolly hats. : * People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel : shirt : 15 above : * Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the : heat. : * People in Upstate New York have the last : cook-out before it gets : cold. : 0 : * People in Miami all die. : * Upstaters lick the flagpole. : 20 below : * Californians fly away to Mexico. : * People in Upstate New York get out their : winter coats. : 40 below : * Hollywood disintegrates. : * The Girl Scouts in Upstate NY are selling : cookies door to door. : 60 below : * Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. : * Upstate Boy Scouts postpone "Winter : Survival" classes until it gets : cold enough. : 80 below : * Mt. St. Helen's freezes. : * People in Upstate NY rent some videos. : 100 below : * Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. : * Upstaters get frustrated because they can't : thaw the keg. : 297 below : * Microbial life no longer survives on dairy : products. : * Cows in Upstate NY complain about farmers : with cold hands. : 460 below : * ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the : Kelvin scale). : * People in Upstate NY start : saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?" : 500 below : * Hell freezes over. : * The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl. |
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