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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> helpful hints
        
(Message started by: gladiola on Oct 30^th, 2002, 11:01am)

Title: helpful hints
Post by gladiola on Oct 30^th, 2002, 11:01am

Helpful Hint #1
If you're choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful, inexpensive vibrator.

Helpful Hint #6
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Title: Re: helpful hints
Post by Margi on Oct 30^th, 2002, 11:08am

ROFLMAO
I don't know who you are, Gladiola, but I'd just like to thank you for always keeping us smiling.

;)

Title: Re: helpful hints
Post by gladiola on Oct 30^th, 2002, 1:38pm

You are absolutely more than welcome ;D

I'm a CH supporter, been hanging around this site for about 2 years. Have a friend who suffers the beast..pass info on to him as he's not 'net savvy.

You guys are the greatest.

Silent, shy type, me. Yes. Really. ;D

Gladiola

Title: Re: helpful hints
Post by Margi on Oct 30^th, 2002, 1:41pm

Nice to meetcha, Gladiola :)

Feel free to speak up anytime. I'm at moxie_miss@hotmail.com if you ever need a fellow supporter's shoulder.

Title: Re: helpful hints
Post by BobG on Nov 1^st, 2002, 1:56pm

Helpful Hint #6.........Yes! ;D

I just love the way Texas women think.

Title: Re: helpful hints
Post by gladi0la on Nov 1^st, 2002, 10:08pm

Gee Bob. Thanks.
Makes me wanna saunter bowlegged, hitch mah breetches up with one hand, while digging in mah ear with the other, and hawk a loogey 10 feet in yonder die-rection. I reckon.

;D