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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Humour for the more intellegent classes
        
(Message started by: LTBullitt on Sep 21^st, 2002, 10:45am)

Title: Humour for the more intellegent classes
Post by LTBullitt on Sep 21^st, 2002, 10:45am

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence.
Why do elephants paint the soles of the feet yellow?
So they can hide upside-down in the custard.
How do you know when an elephant has been in your fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.
Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled? (1)
If they were small, round and white they'd be asparins.
Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled? (2)
Have you ever tried ironing one?
What's grey, has four legs, and a trunk?
A mouse, going on holiday.
What's brown, has four legs, and a trunk?
The same mouse, coming back from holiday.
How do you know when elephants have been making love in your garden?
The grass is rolled flat and all the bin-liners are missing.
Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom. ( Noddy, Big Ears, get it? )
Why do elephants paint themselves green?
So they can sneak across snooker tables without being seen.
How do elephants get up trees? (1/3)
They sit on an acorn and fall asleep.
How do elephants get down from trees? (2/3)
They sit on a leaf and wait for Autumn.
Why are crocodiles long, thin and flat? (3/3)
They walk under trees in Autumn.
How do you fit four elephants into a Mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
How do you know when an elephant is visiting your house?
There's a Mini outside with three elephants in it.
What do elephants use as tampons?
Sheep.
Why do elephants have long trunks?
Sheep don't have strings.
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take out all the matches first.

Title: Re: Humour for the more intellegent classes
Post by SteveY on Oct 29^th, 2002, 6:36pm

What's grey and comes in pints?

Elephants ;D

Title: Re: Humour for the more intellegent classes
Post by BobG on Oct 29^th, 2002, 9:53pm

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in a cherry tree......... ;)

Why do elephants have flat feet?

From jumping out of cherry trees....... ::)

Sorry :-[ My grandaughter made me do it.

Title: Re: Humour for the more intellegent classes
Post by mgreg on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 9:44am

What did Tarzan say when he say the Elephants Coming?

Here come the elephants!

What did Tarzan say when he saw the Elephants Coming wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

What did Tarzan say when he say the Giraffes Coming?

Here come those damn elephants trying to fool me again!

-Mark

Title: Re: Humour for the more intellegent classes
Post by Mark C on Nov 3^rd, 2002, 12:10am

You ARE feeling better aint ya LT....................good ;D