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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Hillary Goes to Heaven
        
(Message started by: kim on Sep 19^th, 2002, 6:34pm)

Title: Hillary Goes to Heaven
Post by kim on Sep 19^th, 2002, 6:34pm

> > > Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she
> stood in front of
> St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge
wall of clocks behind him.
>
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
>
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks.
> Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
> Every time you lie the hands on your clock
will move."
> > > > >
> "Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?"
>
> That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never
> moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
>
>"Incredible," said Hillary. "And whose clock is that one?"
> > > > >
> St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's
> clock. The hands have moved
> twice, telling us that Abe told only
> two lies in his entire life."
>
> "Where's Bill's clock?" asked Hillary.
>
> "Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using
> it as a ceiling fan."
>

Title: Re: Hillary Goes to Heaven
Post by AlienSpaceGuy on Sep 20^th, 2002, 8:41am

Hillary is a lawyer by profession, right?

So, I'm sorry to say Kim, your story can't be true, as the following report shows:

Married at the Gates

It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives.

When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to be married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life, and they still desired wedded union.
He thought about it and agreed, but said they would have to wait.

It was almost one hundred years later when St. Peter sent for them. They were married in a simple ceremony.

So things went on, for thirty years or so, but they determined, in this time, that eternity was best not spent together.

They went back to St. Peter, and said, "We thought we would be happy forever, but now we believe that we have irreconcilable differences. Is there any way we can get divorced?"

"Are you kidding?" said St. Peter. "It took me a hundred years to get a priest up here to marry you. I'll never get a lawyer!"