Clusterheadaches.com Message Board (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Scrabble?
(Message started by: Ishmael on Apr 28th, 2002, 10:33am)

Title: Scrabble?
Post by Ishmael on Apr 28th, 2002, 10:33am
Someone out there either has far too much spare time or is deadly at
Scrabble.
> (Wait till you see the last one!)
> >
> >: George Bush:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: He bugs Gore
> >:
> >: Dormitory:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Dirty Room
> >:
> >: Evangelist:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Evil's Agent
> >:
> >: Desperation:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: A Rope Ends It
> >:
> >: The Morse Code:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Here Come Dots
> >:
> >: Slot Machines:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Cash Lost in em
> >:
> >: Animosity:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Is No Amity
> >:
> >: Mother-in-law:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Woman Hitler
> >:
> >: Snooze Alarms:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Alas! No More Z's
> >:
> >: A Decimal Point:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: I'm a Dot in Place
> >:
> >: The Earthquakes:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: That Queer Shake
> >:
> >: Eleven plus two:
> >: When you rearrange the letters: Twelve plus one
> >:
> >: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
> >: It can be rearranged (With no letters left over, and using each letter
only once) into:
> TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERN
> --
>

Title: Re: Scrabble?
Post by Ishmael on Apr 28th, 2002, 12:18pm
Good Life in 1500 AD"...
Hope you will find this as "fun" as I did...read on...
Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to
be....
Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in
May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting
to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house
had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and
men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By
then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it -
hence the saying: "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the
dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When
it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and
fall off the roof-hence the saying:
"It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed
a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could
really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts. And a
sheet hung  over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy
beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt,
hence the saying:
"dirt poor."
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when
wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their
footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when
you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood
was placed in the entranceway--hence, a
"threshold."
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things
to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They
would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold
overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food
in it that had been there for quite a while-hence the rhyme: "Peas
porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days
old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It
was a sign of wealth that a man
"could bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit
around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid
content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead
poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the
next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of
wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made
from stale bread which was so old and hard that they could be used for
quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms
and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy
trenchers, one would get
"trench mouth."
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of
the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper
crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would
sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the
road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were
laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would
gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up--
hence the custom of holding a "wake."
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the
bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these
coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the
inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they
thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it
through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard
shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the
bell,"
or was considered a
"dead ringer."
And that's the truth...and whoever said that History was boring?!
Bye.







Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1!
YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved.