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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Last jab at Clinton.
        
(Message started by: saintslair on Mar 17^th, 2002, 8:14am)

Title: Last jab at Clinton.
Post by saintslair on Mar 17^th, 2002, 8:14am

In the wake of the Supreme Court's decision to disbar Bill Clinton...
here are a few more parting shots at good ole Clinton!!!

After much arguing and deliberation, historians this week have come up with a
phrase to describe the Clinton Era. It will be called:
SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES.

The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced that Clinton has proven
that you can get sex from Aides.

Gennifer Flowers was asked if her relationship with Clinton was anything like
Monica Lewinski's. She replied, "Close, but no cigar."

The FBI has coined a technical term for the stains found on Monica's dress:
"Presidue."

Clinton now recruits interns from only four colleges:
Moorhead, Oral Roberts, Ball State and Brigham Young.

Did you know that Clinton had asked to change the Democratic emblem from a donkey to a condom? It represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security while you are being screwed.

Arkansas is very proud of Bill Clinton.
All these women coming forward,and not one is his sister!

Finally, Hillary Clinton recently went to a fortuneteller who intoned,
"Prepare to become widow. Your husband will soon suffer a violent death!"
Hillary took a deep breath and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

Title: Re: Last jab at Clinton.
Post by supcomm on Apr 5^th, 2002, 3:49pm

Saw this and had to add mine:

Why all the fuss about the Monika Lewinsky thing?
Slick Willie was just trying to get his Willie slicker! ;D

Title: I can't resist....
Post by Elizabeth on Apr 5^th, 2002, 9:26pm

Hear about Hillary Clinton's new book?

It Takes A Village....To Keep My Husband Satisfied.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a gigolo?

A gigolo can only screw one person at a time.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What game did Bill Clinton play with Monica Lewinsky?

Swallow the Leader.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

Why did Bill Clinton go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

To promote offshore drilling.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What's the difference between President Clinton and the Titanic?

Only 500 women went down on the Titanic.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after he has sex?

"I'll be home in twenty minutes."

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What's Clinton's definition of "safe sex"?

When Hillary is out of town.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

Why did Clinton have a hard time firing Monica Lewinsky?

He couldn't give her the pink slip without asking her to try it on first.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

How did Bill Clinton paralyze Hillary from the waist down?

He married her.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

Why is Bill Clinton like a snowstorm?

Because you don't know when he's coming or how many inches you'll get.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What was the definition of a "virgin in the White House"?

A girl who can run faster than Clinton.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

They were both upset when Bill finished first.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky when the scandal hit?

"I didn't say lie in the deposition. I said lie in that position."

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

The Pope goes to Cuba to meet with Fidel Castro. The news media from all over the world go to Cuba to report on the historic event. A day later, though, all the reporters and TV newspeople split and go back to Washington, D.C.

Castro says to the Pope, "What heppened to Dan Rather? Why did all the newspeople leave Cuba?"

The Pope replies, "Well, it seems that President Clinton got caught having sex with one of his interns."

Castro asks, "What exactly is an intern?"

The Pope replies, "It's something like an altar boy."

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

So President Clinton goes out jogging one morning. He passes by a prostitute and asks her, "How much?"

The prostitute calls back, "Fifty bucks."

"I'll give you ten," Clinton says to her.

"No way," the hooker replies.

The next day he jogs by the prostitute again and calls out, "How much?"

"Fifty bucks," she tells min.

"I'll give you ten," Clinton says, and the prostitute turns him down.

The next morning, Bill goes out jogging with Hillary. They jog past the prostitute, who calls out to Bill, "See what you get for ten dollars?"

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)

Why is Bill Clinton interested in the Middle East?

He heard that the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

:D ;) ;D :) :D ;) ;D :)