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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Pop-Eyed
        
(Message started by: AlienSpaceBabe on Mar 16^th, 2002, 5:19pm)

Title: Pop-Eyed
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Mar 16^th, 2002, 5:19pm

A man sought medical aid because he had popped eyes and a ringing in the ears. A doctor looked him over and suggested removal of his tonsils. The operation resulted in no improvement, so the patient consulted another doctor who suggested removal of his teeth. The teeth were extracted but still the man's eyes popped and ringing in his ears continued.

A third doctor told him bluntly, "You've got six months to live." In that event, the doomed man decided he'd treat himself right while he could. He bought a flashy car, hired a chauffeur, had the best tailor in town make him 30 suits, and decided even his shirts would be made-to-order.

"Okay," said the shirtmaker, "let's get your measurements. Hmmm, 34 sleeve, 16 collar--"

"Fifteen," the man said.

"Sixteen collar," the shirtmaker repeated, measuring again.

"But I've always worn a 15 collar," said the man.

"Listen," the shirtmaker said, "I'm warning you. You keep on wearing a 15 collar and your eyes will pop and you'll have ringing in your ears."

Title: Re: Pop-Eyed
Post by ave on Mar 16^th, 2002, 5:27pm

Did ye ever hear the rude version?

The man who had this terrible pain in his heels?
So the doctor told him his wedding tackle had to come off
if he wanted to walk without pain.

He waited, and thought about it, but the pain was driving him crazy. So he had the operation.

Afterwards, to buoy himself up he went to a gents' tailor to get a new suit...

...and the tailor said, `If I get it wrong you're going to get a terrible pain in the heels...'