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Title: Bad Parrot Post by GlendaB on Mar 13th, 2002, 5:48pm A refined lady owned a parrot with an over-developed libido. Everyday he would sneak next door and fuck the neighbor's chickens. One day, the lady caught him in the act and warned him, "If I catch you doing that again, I'm going to yank out every feather on your head!" However, the parrot couldn't resist and the next day was back in the neighbor's yard fucking a chicken. The lady, suspecting he would, caught him at it and sure enough, she plucked every feather from the top of his head. The next evening, the lady was having a formal dinner party. She instructed the parrot to sit on the piano and call out to guests entering the dining room, "Ladies on the left; gents on the right." So, there he sat, still pouting about his de-feathered dignity, repeatedly calling out to guests, " Ladies on the left, gents on the right." "Ladies on the left, gents on the right." After about an hour of this routine, a bald-headed man and his wife walked into the room. The parrot immediately squawked, "Ladies on the left; and you, you bald-headed chicken fucker, you get up here on the piano with me!" |
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Title: The Fucked Duck Post by GlendaB on Mar 13th, 2002, 7:17pm Eagles mate for life, so this near-sighted eagle goes out to look for a mate. He finds a Dove. They go back to his nest and they make love. It was fantastic sex but all night long this dove says "I'm a dove, let's make love. I'm a dove, let's make love." Well the eagle just can't take this for the rest of his life so next morning he kicks her out of his nest. Then on for the quest of another mate. He runs into a wren. He takes her back to his nest and makes love to her. Again fantastic sex but all night long this wren says "I'm a wren let's do it again. I'm a wren let's do it again." Well the eagle is getting really irritated so next morning he kicks her out of the nest.......Being very cautious (he thinks) he goes out to look for another mate.....He finds the perfect mate:::::a Duck. So again he takes her to his nest and makes love to her. You'll never guess what this duck said all night long...???!!!???? "I'm a drake you made a mistake. I'm a drake you made a mistake" Rooster What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole? A thirty foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone! The Cursing Parrot There once was this guy with a parrot. and the parrot was constantly using foul language. The guy tried everything to get the bird to stop. Even beating it up! Finally the guy takes the parrot and throws it in the freezer. There is a complete minute of silence. Hoping he didn't hurt the bird, he opened the door and out popped the bird the parrot then said, "look I am very truly sorry that I have ruined your life with my foul inappropriate language. I hope you can find a place in your heart to forgive me." Well the guy is just amazed. He then takes the bird a puts it in its cage. The bird says, " Can I ask you a question?" "Sure!" says the man. The bird then asks, "I just wanted to know, What did the chicken do?" Laughing Horse A guy walked into a bar one day and saw a jar of money on the counter. He asked the bartender what the money was for. The bar tender replied, "If you can go in that room and make that horse laugh you can have the jar of money." The man walked into the room. He came out shortly with the sound of a laughing horse following. The bar tender asked how he did that. The guy said, "Uh I oh never mind." The next day the same guy comes in again and another jar of money is on the counter. He asks the bar tender what its for and the man replies, "If you can go into that room and make that horse cry you can have this jar of money." The man goes into the room and returns with sound of a crying horse following. The bar tender asked how the man did it. The man said," To make the horse laugh I told him my dick was bigger than his. To make him cry I proved it." |
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