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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> jokes? i got jokes
        
(Message started by: AlienSpaceBabe on Mar 1^st, 2002, 7:55pm)

Title: jokes? i got jokes
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Mar 1^st, 2002, 7:55pm

"Will you tell the court how far you were taken from the spot where the shooting occurred?" asked the defense counsel.

"I was exactly fourteen feet, three-and-one-half inches," replied the witness.

"How can you be sure of the exact distance?" asked the lawyer.

"I measured it because I was sure sooner or later some mooncalf would ask that question."

Title: jokes, jokes everywhere...and not a one is good...
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Mar 1^st, 2002, 8:51pm

The rather awkward freshman at a prom finally got up enough nerve to ask a sultry young beauty for a dance. "I never dance with a child," replied the pretty little snob.

The freshman looked her over critically and said, "Please forgive me; I didn't realize you were pregnant."

Title: the first mate got drunk today
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Mar 1^st, 2002, 8:57pm

The first mate on a ship got drunk for the first time in his life. The ship's captain, a stern and rigid man, recorded in his log, "The first mate got drunk today."

The mate protested against the entry, explaining that if it remained in the log without further comment or explanation it could ruin his career because it suggested that drunkenness was not unusual for him, whereas he had never been drunk before. The captain, however, was adamant, stating that the log recorded the exact truth and therefore must stand as written.

The next week it was the mate's turn to write in the ship's log. And on each day he wrote, "The Captain was sober today."

Title: Re: jokes? i got jokes
Post by Charlie on Mar 3^rd, 2002, 11:47pm

???Yeah, I ain't never heard a no friggin' mooncalf hereabouts either.

Charlie ::)

http://C:\Visioneer Documents\0a\af\smiledance.gif

Title: Re: jokes? i got jokes
Post by Elizabeth on Mar 4^th, 2002, 7:06pm

Mooncalf:
1. a congenitally grossly deformed and mentally defective person
2. a foolish person.
3. a person who spends time idly daydreaming

Title: Re: jokes? i got jokes
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Mar 4^th, 2002, 9:18pm

in more simple terms
mooncalf = attorney
(excluding michael)