Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        New Message Board Archives >> 2002-2004 Funnies and Jokes >> Woo Woo ??? 
        
(Message started by: gladiola on Feb 23^rd, 2002, 5:43pm)

Title: Woo Woo ???
Post by gladiola on Feb 23^rd, 2002, 5:43pm

;D

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your
husband along the way, cover up any exposed area.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
must do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43
added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced
with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten
minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake
bodywash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all
come off).

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but
decide to get it waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you
lose the water pressure.

13. Turn off the shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze
hairs.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
head.

18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed
area.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way,
shake wiener at her making the woo woo sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut
to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror
and scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it
off.

9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and
surrounding area.

11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap
bar.

12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

14. Peek out the shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror
again.

15. Pee (in the shower).

16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on
the floor because you left the curtain hanging out the tub the whole time.

17. Partially dry off.

18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener
size again.

19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.

21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you
pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the
woowoo sound again.

22. Throw wet towel on the bed

Title: [move]STUFF[/move]Re: Woo Woo ???
Post by Fenton on Feb 25^th, 2002, 3:42pm

Amen on the shitter thing Den....

Shut up who ever!!!!!!!!! :D

Title: Re: Woo Woo ???
Post by Fenton on Feb 25^th, 2002, 3:50pm

OH!!! and the waters just as cold standin or sitting...LMMFAO

Title: Re: Woo Woo ???
Post by susan on Feb 28^th, 2002, 5:32am

:DThis makes me wonder if someones been secretly video taping me and my husband and our showering routine...it's kinda creepy..... :o