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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Cluster Headache Specific Posts >> Help
        
(Message started by: Goyo on May 20^th, 2004, 8:21pm)

Title: Help
Post by Goyo on May 20^th, 2004, 8:21pm

hi, i am new to the site. i am Greg, and my dad is a cluster headache sufferer. i need help in what can be done with my father. is there anyone that suffers from manic depression, back problems so numerous its not even funny, and to add with that arthritis, with always a pessimist attitude? i try so hard to understand him, but when i try to help, he doesn't want it, he does not know i am writing to yall here. he wants friends, but he don't want to look for any, he hates people, he trusts no one. is there any one of yall that could give advice on how to help my dad with his CH and Depression? thanks...

Title: Re: Help
Post by Little Deb on May 20^th, 2004, 8:58pm

Hhmm.....we could pray he meets my mother and they could be miserable together!! Other than that, I have given up, and just go with the flow. We can NOT make them happy or help them. They are in their own pile of shit and they need to just wollow in it all alone. Sounds mean??? Well. Maybe. But I see no hope unless they get struck by lightening...which we could pray for too!

you can lead a horse to water....Little Deb :-/

OH! By the way...welcome to the board!!! Check out Supporter's Corner.

Title: Re: Help
Post by TxBasslady on May 21^st, 2004, 12:26am

Greg,

It's very commendable that you are seeking help for your Dad.

There is great support on this board for anyone that suffers from CH. It would be great if you could get him to come here. However, from what you said, I doubt that he will do that. I assume that he is taking some meds for his CH and the other medical problems he's having.

If you can and will take the time to read the info here...and also read the posts, maybe you can come up with some way to help him. Rest assured, if you need answers, we will try our best to help you out. We are not Doctors.....just a group of CH sufferers and supporters.

I send you my best wishes.....I sincerely hope you can find a way to help him.

Please let us know how things are going for you.

PF vibes to your Dad,

Jean

Title: Re: Help
Post by Margi on May 21^st, 2004, 11:29am

Hi Greg, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I think the depression and pessimism comes from the horrible and inevitable pain clusterheads repeatedly face.

There really isn't anything you can do to help him, other than offer him understanding and support. You and I can't feel cluster pain, but we CAN respect it. Talk to him when he's not having a headache and see if there's anything you can do for him. Bring him ice? Get him a glass of cold water? Leave him alone? Find out what HE needs. Being a cluster supporter is very hard work and we do have to develop a thick skin at times. Just let your dad know that you love him and that you're there if he needs you. Sometimes that's enough and literally all you really can do.

Show your dad this website - THAT really can help him to know that he's not the only one who goes through this. A lot of clusterheads have never met anyone else who feels this pain. It can truly be a Godsend for them and makes them realize that they are NOT going crazy.

What meds is he on? Does he see a doctor? Has he tried oxygen?

Hang in there, Greg - there are lots of folks here who also walk in your shoes as cluster supporter. We also have the Family Services Team here: http://www.clusterheadaches.org/family/index.htm that was written entirely for supporters. Feel free to drop into the Supporters Corner here too. Supporters have our own kind of pain to deal with and it truly is something only other supporters can understand.
Hugs
Margi

Title: Re: Help
Post by kim on May 21^st, 2004, 3:05pm

hi greg,
iam new here too,but i understand your problems with your dad my hubby has all the same problems with his back and the headaches and depression i think the depression comes from all the pain they are in and knowing how it is hurting the people around them

Title: Re: Help
Post by Gena on May 21^st, 2004, 3:58pm

;;D hello, I like your dad, can be depressed and really mood when in cycle.

The only advice I can give is if he wants to be left alone leave him be. I know that sounds mean, but sometimes it is the only thing that help me.

P.S. This is only if you do not think that his depression is so bad he might hurt himself.

Title: Re: Help
Post by miapet on May 21^st, 2004, 9:21pm

Hi Greg,
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. My husband has been dealing with clusterheadaches for a long time, and I agree . . .I think the depression/pessimism is due to all the pain. People who suffer from chronic pain (can be back, neck, h/a, whatever) are very prone to depression.

D hasn't spent much time on the computer for months, it hurt too much. BUT, he likes that I come here, learn as much as I can, and am able to advocate for him. I also know what the doctor is talking about, and am able to tell him what we need.

One of the best things that happened to D is, he met another c/h person. It was good for him to be able to talk to someone who really understood. We were very lucky. I think, if your dad has a day where he feels good enough to read through here (even a little) he might feel better . . .just knowing that he isn't alone.

I also encourage you to check out the other boards (including supporters), as there is LOTS of good information.

*positive light and energy* (and take care of you . . .it's easy to get worn down by the beast, and then it's really hard to support our loved ones)
miapet

Title: Re: Help
Post by Mac_Muz on May 21^st, 2004, 9:21pm

Most of us have Ch+ I guess.. I do... I get depressed but not all that bad, as it turns to anger against thy enemy.. pain of your choice....

i did get struck by lightning 2 summers back. I can't say as that will help anyone much.

I was working indoors in a wood boat shop and just took a break for a smoke.. I sat down very unwisely as it turned out on the base of a floor mounted drill press.

There was this blue flash, and then I found myself some 7 feet faced down in a puddle from just washing off scraped bottom paints after scraping it all... I was kinda scuffed up from the floor and the landing..

My heart was outta wack for 3 days... it was not near as bad as a full blow Ch though.. Hell I'ld take another bolt of lightning any day over a Ch!

As for mothers.. mine is still alive if you could call it that.. More like walking dead.. Never has a good word about anything... AIn't seen her in 2 years and don't plan too..

Sick of someone with nothing really wrong bein a bitch..

Anyone wantin her can PM me.. She can be had for free..

Ya suppose I might sell her on E-Bay? Mac

Title: Re: Help
Post by tgz23 on May 25^th, 2004, 12:13am

Greg, welcome to Clusteville. I'm a CH sufferer. This a very hard thing for us to go through. When I'm in cycle I want help but no one can do anything for me. Meds mostly don't work and my last cycle was for 6 months with 4-6 headaches a day. During a headache I'm pacing like crazy and I can hear people talking or asking me questions but I just can't respond to them because it's too painful. I've done some very strange things. At times I feel embaressed. There are many emotions we go through highs and lows. When I'm in cycle ch's become my life there is time for little else. Sometimes not saying anything is the best thing you can do. Your dad knows you're there and he does need you, even though it might not feel like it. Hang in there better days are coming.