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New Message Board Archives >> 2003 Posts >> What a shitty life!!
(Message started by: ZAIRA on Nov 26th, 2003, 2:42pm)

Title: What a shitty life!!
Post by ZAIRA on Nov 26th, 2003, 2:42pm
I’ve enough to sufferer as an animal, enough enough.
In these moment of sadness you loose orienteering, each esistential aim, meaning, there is only a huge misery and sadness :'(, and the feeling to be alone in the world. It is impossible to avoid this state of things: in this world there is only pain. Many of you maybe will live this situation! :'(

I’d hope that doctors understand something more about the beast. If you are good for a day, the day after you are bad twice >:(. What makes me suffer is not to understand, you don’t know where she comes from and why.

Why?

We fight and we rise, we suffer without renouncing to live... but when you can’t go on you ask yourself the reason of this life and the worst is that there is no answer... :'(


To all the people that wrote me simpleTHANK YOU, the strenght of clusterheads and supporters is the best support against the beast. Sorry if I didn’t answer.


The very best from Italy, Zaira  :'(



Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Big_Dan on Nov 26th, 2003, 2:45pm
I'm sorry, Z....

If we could answer the question "why"...  there'd be nothing to wonder about...


... eventually things will get better.... eventually..


[smiley=hug.gif]



-Big Dan

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by brain_cramps on Nov 26th, 2003, 2:45pm
Hoping and praying for PF time for you,
grant

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by thomas on Nov 26th, 2003, 2:51pm
It hurts me to know that you are suffering so badly.  I too have asked why - with no answer.  But those that are here have made me want to go on and appreciate the pf days.  You are one of those who have helped me just by being here.  Hopefully soon the beast will leave you alone.  BIG VIBES your way.  :)

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Margi on Nov 26th, 2003, 2:52pm
We are standing with you in spirit, Zaira.  We have lots of shoulders you can lean on when you need to.  The nice thing about cluster people is that we understand what you're going through - we've all been at (or seen our sufferers reach) the same point you're at now.  You feel like you're running out of rope, don't you?  Please don't ever forget that we have an endless supply here and lots of hands outstretched to pull you back up over the edge of that cliff you feel like you're on.

BIG hugs, love and prayers to you,

Margi

p.s.  do you need me to tell Riccardo to come over to your house and shower you with garlic kisses?  Will that help a little bit?   :-*

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Opus on Nov 26th, 2003, 3:00pm
:'(

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Woobie on Nov 26th, 2003, 3:01pm
YOU, Zaira......... are NOT ALONE!!   I promise!   We are all with you.........and we are all pullin for you!!

I hope you get some PF times soon!!  

STAY HARD, :-* SISTER!!!!!!!!!!    Dont give up!!

Tina   :-*

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Tiannia on Nov 26th, 2003, 3:20pm
Zazi, We are here for you, and you know that if we could be we would be there in person.  Anytime that you need to talk then give a yell.  You have so many who would give anything to make it just a little easier to you for just a second.  

I wish that I could answer your "why" for I to have asked that and not just about CH's.  There is no way to understand it and that is truely the hardest things for the spirit to go through.  

But you are so strong and so alive, it is amazing to see the world through your eyes, and you give us that chance with your drawings.   Your ablitlity to take this pain that you are tourtured with and turn it into such beautiful and wrenching art is amazing.

That beauty is not just in your art, it is in you.  You have given so much of yourself to so many.  That this god awful beast that hunts us all has brought us together is the only reason at times for many of us.   We get up each day just to check the boards and say hello and see if we can help someone else get through yet another day.  

Maybe that is the why.  Because if each of us did not understand there there would not be someone here for each of us when we need it.  I know that that is not a good reason to have to deal with the pain, I dont think there is one.  

If there is anything that i can do to help, please let me know.   All of the energy that I can give to you is yours to use as you need.

Tiannia

PS - Sorry for babbling...   :'(

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by BlueMeanie on Nov 26th, 2003, 3:26pm
Totally agree ! I always wonder why in the world is it so true that it's like a demon. Everytime you find something new and have a good day, it returns even worse like it's laughing at you. Been having too many bad days lately. We are here with you & sending vibes. PF PF PF PF PF PF.

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by tsayswhy on Nov 26th, 2003, 3:41pm
Zaira
I too ask why (tsayswhy) when i came to this board,
I thought i was going to get the answer i needed to fix this. I was sadly told there is no cure :'( not yet anyways
But what i did find was good friends and the best support anyone could give me.

sending you a  [smiley=hug.gif] hang in there girl

some day we will all be PF and these cluster/headaches will be kissing our  [smiley=moonwiggle.gif]

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Mark C on Nov 26th, 2003, 3:51pm
[smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by hdbngr on Nov 26th, 2003, 4:04pm
A big hug to you Zaira! I'm thinking about yo and sending happy thoughts your way.

V

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Paigelle on Nov 26th, 2003, 5:03pm
Why is the question we all have asked.  I don't understand it, but it has helped me to know that there are people here in this little world we have created that understand and care.  The people who know when we are pulling our hair, screaming, and pacing what we are tormented with.  I wish you the best and hope you are relieved of this pain soon.  I wish I could be there with you, I would listen and understand.  

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Jayne on Nov 26th, 2003, 5:09pm
I'm thinking of you Zaira!!!
Love Jayne

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by mikeyd on Nov 26th, 2003, 5:17pm
Hugssss girl! [smiley=hug.gif]
I wanna know why too. They will find out why...somday. Until then we gotta stick it out. I always keep in mind that I will laugh again soon and the beast will sleep.

PF vibes comin your way!

[smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Charlie on Nov 26th, 2003, 5:26pm
Damn thing pisses me off.  :(

My only answer to "why" is that we're born too far down the evolutionary scale. We're still learning to walk upright and are still the victims of sloppy engineering. Lucky us.

I wish I could do something other than to let you know that I understand but you're right: It ain't fair. At least you're posting though and that's a good sign.

You're about due for a break Z. In the meantime:  [smiley=hug.gif]

Charlie

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Unsolved on Nov 26th, 2003, 6:28pm
Zaira,

You are NOT alone. Life has been totally shitty here too. I often ask myself 'why' too...(KIP 9)...why do we have to go through this hell ? Well..I don't have an answer for that...just remember... where ever you are ... YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Someday we'll beat this...there's no other way.

Unsolved
Chances are ... i'm sitting on the floor in a dark room on the other side of the planet...doing the same thing you are. (Maybe crying asking why me and when will it end)

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by TxBasslady on Nov 26th, 2003, 6:33pm
:'(

We love you, Zazi

Jean

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by stevegeebe on Nov 26th, 2003, 6:51pm
Some planets have moons while others do not.  How uninspired those who have to witness such a dark sky.

From one who puts pencil to paper you Zaira, live on a planet with many moons.

Steve G

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Cerberus on Nov 26th, 2003, 8:14pm
Z................... :'( :-* :)

Ramon

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Patrick_A on Nov 26th, 2003, 8:49pm
I wish i could take 1/2 of your pain for you Zaira, but i cant. Hang in there and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Patrick

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by nancyc on Nov 26th, 2003, 9:01pm
ZaZi, Unsolved and for all of you out there suffering tonite...know you are in my thoughts and prayers... :)nancyc

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by cootie on Nov 26th, 2003, 9:39pm
If anyone in this world deseves PF days........YOU ALL DO !! Pam the PF holiday wisher

HOPE'N things get better for you ZA  :-*

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by ShariRae on Nov 26th, 2003, 10:31pm
Z...
Hang in there sweetness.. it WILL get better...
hugs & prayers
Shari

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by fubar on Nov 26th, 2003, 11:19pm
I have a theory about people like us... we are destined for greatness.  It may not the greatness that some people envision, like stardom, fame, riches (although that would be nice).  It seems to me that if you look at just about ANY famous person, you can find some horrible tragedy or strife in their life.  It's trials like this that forge true character and lead people to know that they can, in fact, conquer just about anything this life throws at them.  In this respect, we are actually incredibly lucky, because we get to suffer A LOT.  We suffer A LOT and we don't die.  We suffer and we survive, and we are reminded of that fact over and over.  It’s not like some once-in-a-lifetime life altering event.  Unlike a lot of cancer patients who have similar pain and strife, we go on with our lives fully capable of delivering on the promise of a greater existence because of our experience.  Each one of us learns how to embrace our situation and deal with it.  After that, watch out world... we are some tough sons-a-bitches.  And we are more than we were before this beast tried to take us down.  EMBRACE it.  We can't change the fact we are clusterheads, so we might as well cash in on the strength and temerity it forces us to acquire in order to survive.

The artists… the writers… the craftsmen… we all have our passion and we all excel.  Think about it.  We are better equipped than most to deal with adversity.  We know, first hand, the most physically painful thing that a human can experience (according to neurologists).  What’s going to stop us now?  If CH has taught me ONE thing, it’s that nothing in this life can hurt so bad that you actually die, and that I can take anything.  Anyway, to get to the point… this freedom we have found in knowing there is no limitation to what we can handle increases our willingness and ability to take the kinds of risks that are rewarded with greatness.  Putting your art there is taking a risk that most people can’t get over, for example.

Zaira, I hope you feel better soon.

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Lori on Nov 26th, 2003, 11:32pm
I'm sorry Z..praying for better days for you.

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by Mastifflvr28 on Nov 27th, 2003, 12:50am
vibes goin up Zazi,

I'm thankful for my family here :)
As I know you are too.
Life would be shittier without them,
Mast

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by ClusterChuck on Nov 27th, 2003, 4:08am
First and foremost, do I have to fly over there and smack you?  Your life is NOT shitty!  You are going through a shitty time, but your life is far from shitty.

You are a charming, loving individual, that I am so fortunate to call my friend.  One day, I hope to meet you in person, and give you a hug and kiss directly.  But, until that time, I am sending cyber hugs and kisses.

Hang in there, my love, and continue to kick ass!  It will get better.  In the mean time you have a HUGE family here to watch your back, and to lean on.

Love to you from your second favorite old man,
Chuck

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by sandie99 on Nov 27th, 2003, 5:09am
Zaira,
I so sorry for you... :'(
I have asked 'why' many times and sometimes, for a while, I understand. Not the pain, though. Having horrible pain has made me appreciate the PF days more, too bad they are indeed rare.
I wish & pray that the beast would leave you alone!
Lots of good vibes are on their way! :)
They say, that once you're down, you can only get up. As naive as it sounds, on the worst moments, it does brighten things sometimes. I wish for better times for you, they are on their way!

Best wishes & loads of PFdays,
sandie99

Title: Re:  What a shitty life!!
Post by ZAIRA on Nov 27th, 2003, 3:23pm

The reason seems to be like a cruel joke of destinity...
There will be never answer.           :'(

Anyway if no-one died of CH (suicides apart) and if you go on, me too.

I’ll go on... breathing with all my lungs and armed with my survival kit... your vibes and prayers! If my blood test will be OK, next week I’ll start with Lithium again.

Thanks to reinforce my spirit...... hugs to you all ( plus a smooch to Chuck ;;D )

Love, Zaira



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