Clusterheadaches.com Message Board (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
New Message Board Archives >> 2003 Posts >> The older I get the harder it gets !
(Message started by: Elaine on May 30th, 2003, 9:47pm)

Title: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Elaine on May 30th, 2003, 9:47pm
I am back in cycle. I am happy I got time off and very thankful for that time. I been getting hit perrty hard since the week end. I knew they were coming back by the shadows. Hell I was using imitrex on shadows to keep them away.
Last night was bad. Its harder at night now cause I got the baby. I am always afraid I will wake him up. He is a light sleeper for a two year old.
I wake up with this pain that makes me almost scream out loud with. I stumble to the bathroom take a shot, and rock on the floor till the pain stops. Last night the pain was so bad, it seemed like it took forever for it to work. I sat there and rocked and prayed. I begged God to let my body take this pain.  I was so tired I wanted so bad to lay down, I couldn't stop rocking. I just rocked till the pain stoped and then as always I was afraid to move. I just sat there to tired to get up.
I use to be use to the pain, and I am not sure if the vacation helped me or not. Not hurtting all these months has made it worst for me now.
I don't want this any more and I am not so sure my body will be able to handle it again. Last night I though God just let me pass out Please!
I have a little dog that when you cry she crys to and she won't stop till you do. I feel so sorry for the dog! Poor  thing has no idea what he is in for the next few months.
I am to damn old for this shit guys!

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by eyes_afire on May 30th, 2003, 9:54pm
I'm really sorry that you're back in cycle.  It's always hardest when a cycle returns.  I just hope that your cycles get shorter and then disappear, never to return again.  We're here for you, we understand.

--- Steve, one of many...

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by jonny on May 30th, 2003, 9:55pm
You STFU and make it to the convention........you owe me a walk, Elaine!!!

Nite, 3 am comes way to early

.......................jonny

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Jackie on May 30th, 2003, 10:04pm
Hi E.....
I just read your post to Blake.  The look on his face was like OMG I know exactly what she is saying.  He wanted me to post to you and tell you to hang in there and he promises it will get better....he's says tell you to pull all the strength you can from the pain free times to fight the son of a bitch.  He's gonna send you a "present" to make you feel better.... ;)....like the one he had me bring to you when we went to Florida.

I feel soooo sorry, E.....I would give anything to make this all go away.

Love you my friend,
Jackie

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Mastifflvr28 on May 30th, 2003, 10:18pm
oh sigh...

this is all I can say :(

The "coming back into cycle" is the worst fear and stress in the world.  Almos worse then the actual cycle.

Know I got vibes going out to you sweety, you DESERVE more pf time!!!

Love ya babe,
Mast

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by kim on May 30th, 2003, 10:27pm
Why is it that we must always feel such GUILT........we cannot control the flip of the switch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Animals show their devotion ........mine did that too.  They were big rotts and would try and lay across me ..........or at my feet - had to be close to me......funny how they know.........

Well wishes

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by 9erfan on May 30th, 2003, 10:48pm
Elaine,

I'm so sorry that you are going through this shit right now.  I feel your pain.  A post like yours just brings me to tears because I totally know what you are going through.
I know that even after 18 years of going through this, when I get hit as bad as I did a few weeks ago I still think to myself "this can't be happening. this is not real.  this cannot be my life.  this is no way to live a life." and I still am convinced "nobody else could possibly be going through this same thing...because this feels like I should be dying".  It's just unbelievable that we can have these for so long and yet sometimes they feel like it is the first time all over again and we are completely helpless all over again.   :'(
Elaine, I wish I had something to say to make you feel better but please know that you are in my prayers tonight.   For me, last time I just found myself chanting over and over again "it will end, it will end, it will end"....
I hope tonight is better.
Love to you,
Virginia :)

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by don on May 30th, 2003, 11:06pm
It sucks but you know what you need to do to get through a cycle. Keep doing it at it WILL end.

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by kissmyglass on May 30th, 2003, 11:09pm
Hi Ealine,
So sorry to hear you are being attacked. Hope your cycle ends very soon. Wish I could do something to take some of your attacks.....Hang in there....The best vibes I can muster up are coming to you...


Kev

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by katethecelt on May 30th, 2003, 11:19pm
Elaine,

I'm so sorry you're back in a cycle.  The pain, exhaution, fear, all become overwhelming very quickly.  It all seems worse to me after even 1 PF day (my longest reprieve)since this cycle started.

"I am stronger than this" has become my mantra & I know it applies to you.  We're here for you.

Sending special thoughts & prayers to you,

Kate      

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Callico_Kid on May 31st, 2003, 12:48am
Elaine,

We are praying for you.  My wife just read your post too, so she will also keep you in prayer.  

jc

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by cootie on May 31st, 2003, 1:10am
Be strong my freind...you have helped 'me' be stronger ! Pam that wishes you the strentgh to get thru this  :-*

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by TomM on May 31st, 2003, 5:14am
Elaine, I am sorry you are getting hit again but happy to read you have a dog that is by your side. I am so glad to read that you are thankful for the time off.
Hang in there baby, you have freinds here!
Smile if you can.  :)
TomM  8)

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Charlie on May 31st, 2003, 5:36am
Rats, E.

All I can tell you is to try the technique again. The thing that's hard to get people to understand is that just because it isn't working right away, doesn't mean that it won't. If you give up in the middle of an attack, it will never work. This thing doesn't gradually take hold. When it does, it works instantly, just like when the pain seems to drain away when an attack ends. There is no half way. It always stops it cold.

Damn sorry Elaine but we're here for ya.

Charlie

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by cbolony on May 31st, 2003, 6:04am
Elaine sorry to hear the your cycle is back i hope it is a very short cycle.Sending good vibes to you and try to stop the cycle

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by suzy617 on May 31st, 2003, 6:27am
Elaine I'm so sorry your getting hit again. Please hang in there and be strong. I'm hoping this doesnt last long and you will be pf very soon.

Suzy

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Elaine on May 31st, 2003, 6:45am
Thanks Guys ! Oh I am going to be ok, just felt like moaning to someone . I hate the damn things, but I will get use to fighting them again, I have imitrex so I will be fine.I never stay down long, I got just to much to be Thankful for to stay down. I had nine months pain free from the suckers!! Praise The Lord!! .  :)
I have a Great family that is standing beside me, you guys, and Imitrx !! Praise The Lord!!

I am making me a office in a walk in closet. I plan on doing it today. I was going to do it yesterday but lost my stud finder....I got another one last night so its work today. I will be looking for studs and working my butt off all day. Anyone want to volunteer to help? ;)

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by suzy617 on May 31st, 2003, 7:45am
Wow Elaine, I didnt know they sold a stud finder  :o
I've been looking for a stud for awhile now.   ;D

Suzy

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by catlind on May 31st, 2003, 8:48am
Lady Elaine,
I am so very sad to hear this news :(  I will keep my fingers and toes crossed in the hopes that it is just a fluke and won't be a full cycle!  In the mean time you have my vibes going out to you!

Cat

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by jimbo on May 31st, 2003, 9:25am
Elaine,

Sorry the beast is back. Let's hope and pray it's a short visit. Vibes coming your way. My wife Barb is a stud finder! She found me over 20 years ago. ;D

Seeya,

Jimbo

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by don on May 31st, 2003, 9:39am

Quote:
lost my stud finder....I got another one last night so its work today. I will be looking for studs


You lost my email address?

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Roxy on May 31st, 2003, 9:44am
Ah heck, E....I'm so sorry you're back in cycle.  I've been sending vibes your way ever since Mast told me they were coming back on you.  Wish I could take a few of the hits from you.......trying to handle this with small children around, that takes a lot of strength.  I would imagine you and I were sitting on the bathroom floors rocking at about the same time of night......you aren't rocking alone.  I doubt that will make you feel any better, but what small part of my brain that is working at that point.....it's thinking of you.

I know what you mean about being used to the pain.  I've been having trouble with that ever since I had some PF time.  You tend to build up a tolerance level when you are hammered 24/7.....some PF time, and I'm back grabbing the shot very, very quickly.  I'm glad your dog sits with you.....that has to be a comfort.

You're not to old for this shit.....you are a tough, YOUNG, lady who can teach us new ones a thing or two.

Thinking of you,
Tracey

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by ave on May 31st, 2003, 12:02pm
Lady E, I am more than sorry that they are hitting you again. What can we do, so far away, but think of you real hard, wishing the pain away.

I don't think it is because of getting older. It is having had the reprieve. Not having to look over your shoulder to see if the beast lurks.
Then when it comes back it seems to hit so much harder.

I'll wrap an extra thought for you tonight and leave it in  chat - with a bow on.

Hang in there Lady!

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Edna on May 31st, 2003, 12:05pm
Elaine,
sorry to know you're getting hit......that totally sucks......."rock on" baby......we're rocking with ya here too so when you need us know we'll be there!!!


Hope the pf time in between becomes more and more for ya too.        

    pst...check your mail


Luv ya,
EDNA

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by BobG on May 31st, 2003, 12:46pm
Hi Lady E. Sorry to hear they're starting again. Sure hope it's a mild and short cycle.

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Kenzie60 on May 31st, 2003, 2:03pm
Eileen, sorry to hear that you are back in cycle.  Hoping that is a short one.  My prayer are with you.

Roseanne

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Elaine on May 31st, 2003, 2:10pm
Don ...you got mail ;-)

I tell ya I think they have this house glued together. Either the studd finder is off or me. I finally used tuggle bolts. Got the shelfs up and the Desk Mounted. All my books andpapper and office supplys are in there, now for my computer. I hate taking my computer apart always afraid I will have trouble getting it going again. Darn it I am going to have to stop and take Heather out for Dinner tonight. Her Birthday is Tuesday, Thats my middle daughter. We are also haveing a aniversery dinner. Buddy and I got married on her Birthday.  We also met on her birthday !

Thank God I am only getting hit in the night time.
Thanks for every thing guys!!!

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Mikey on May 31st, 2003, 2:27pm
Oh, E!!

I'm so very sorry to hear that you're getting hit again!

I'll tell ya, it seems that the beast knows just when to get ya don't he?  Just when ya are gettng things together, it seems to really hit ya hard.  Stay strong Elaine and stay tough........I knonw you are a tough women, and that you can take it if anybody can, so fight, fight, fight, and kick the ever loving shit out of the beast!!!

I'll be praying for ya Sis, and let us know how you are doing, and if there is anything we can do......

Mikey,   :-[

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Miklos on May 31st, 2003, 2:36pm
Ma'am, I sure hope you cycle through quickly. Can loan you a bike if necessary. Be there two day ground.

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by gene on May 31st, 2003, 11:08pm
Elaine?
Hi i'm gene/ brand new to the site/ have had ch for 12 years (every other year for a month or so/ 4- 8 per day/ Bad/ Hellish/ Insane ch.
I was so moved by your post/ Mi cycle just started a week or so ago after 2 pf years. There I was, just like you back in the bathroom with hot towelsbegging God for relief. @52 I'm too old for this shit too!!
This site has educated me/ and as for now my meds are keeping me PF. Please God, It would be such a comfort to think that I can medicate these horrors away consistently.
I really feel your pain and if there is anything you can think of that I could do to help... In the mean time I'm going to stop looking around the site and say a prayer just for you.
God Bless/ I know you'll keep fighting
Gene

Title: Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
Post by Frank on May 31st, 2003, 11:28pm
I always give myself the Imitrex shot and stare at the clock... 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 minutes... ahhhhh! relief!



Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1!
YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved.