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Title: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by BuddyH on May 17th, 2003, 11:23am I am married to Elaine, I call her Johnnie. We been married for 22 years Divorced 5 months and remarried. If anyone knows Johnnie I do. I have seen her fight some real hard battles, I spent many years watching her cry and beg for relieve. Waking up to find her in a pool of blood on the patio floor one morning not moving. I thought she had killed herself. Johnnie would go outside when she would get hit and walk or sit and rock. She would go outside to keep from waking us up. It was an aneurisms, not clusters she did not know , Johnnie thought she was fighting a cluster. That day stays in my mind. I will never forget the blood her face, it was awful. I made her promise me she would always wake me when she had a cluster from then on. Johnnie went many years not knowing what she had. The things they did to her are horror stories. From pulling her teeth to giving her shock treatment. The day she got a name for what she had, was the start of recovery not from clusters but from fear of the unknown. She looked every where book stores, library trying to find information on clusters. Johnnie found books with only one or two paragraphs in it concerning them. The doctor told her there was so cure and that the only thing he knew that would help was o2 . She tried that but it did not work for her. It took the edge off but did not abort one. Every year Jonnie would call the doctor she would get the same thing, no new drugs. It wasn’t till she came here she found out that she was not crazy, and there were drugs that could help. There were some very special people that reached out to her and they helped her. One man called her neurologist for her. He got her in early to see him. There she started a three year try by error on different drugs till she found what worked for her. A few others called and checked on her just about everyday. These people became her hero’s, her special friends. Johnnie took a road trip that I was against, to meet these special friends. I thought she had lost her mind. She did not know these people except from this site. She was gone 15 days and was fine. When she came home she told me an organization had been started O.U.C.H. she was so excited . To her it was hope for a better life. Johnnie thought her trip was so important because meeting others with clusters made her feel less alone. It hurt her to know that others knew her pain. That’s when she started preaching join O.U.C.H. ! I have seen her cry hard for a friend that was getting hit she could do nothing for but say she was praying. You better believe she not only prayed but put their names on prayer list. I have seen Johnnie start a fund for a man here who did not have the money to see a doctor or buy his drugs. I have seen her on the phone many nights trying to talk someone out of killing themselves. I have seen her hang up the phone and just cry hoping she said the right thing. I have seen Johnnie cry for friends who’s lost a love one here. I have seen her cry because someone needed something and she didn’t have the money to help. I have seen her stay up all night and day working on things for O.U.C.H. I saw her work a whole year on a convention for O.U.C.H.! |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 2 Post by BuddyH on May 17th, 2003, 11:24am I have seen her load her car up with boxes of print outs and take them to Doctors offices and Hospitals. She would put them in the waiting room. Johnnie has four, four drawer filing cabinets in those drawers are files filed with email and post. Johnnie prints out all her email. She puts the persons name on the folder and the email she sent them or they sent her or both. Plus she puts their post in there if it’s a post she feels is good. I was surprised to see where in the last year and a half, she had sent out hundreds of letters to people who have never returned her mail. Letters of support. I was also surprised when I went through her folders. The people that supported her when she needed support were always the same people. I saw that she has not made many new friends. What new email I did see, each one started off with, “I have only been around a few months weren’t sure if I should write or not.” People accuse Johnnie of having her own little group. With as many people on ch.com as there are.I am sure there are several groups. I don’t think she or anyone else purposely has a group of any kind. I think as Johnnie some have specail heros.I think from seeing these files Johnnie has tried to reach out to many of you. You been invited but never took the invitation. I think there are many like that here. I support my wife all the way from clusters to cancer, for all the good she does and for all the good she sees in others here. Johnnie looks for the good not the bad in people. Johnnie trust till the trust is destroyed. Johnnies biggest dream is to see the place she calls special, home for all her friends new and old. To see the ones gone to come back and be a part of the group again. If you have any kind of pain, Johnnie is your friend. If you are a support of a person in pain Johnnie is your friend. Did you people ever stop to think that the old timers are just as afraid of you as you are of them. Johnnie told me one night she was afraid to write people any more. How many old timers have you new people wrote? How many of you have written the ones gone and asked what’s wrong, or told them they were missed. How many have asked them to return. How many really care? I saw a post that said good-bye posts are attention getters. It could also be a post for help, and that’s the only way they know how to ask. Sometimes when you read a post it might be good to try to read between the lines. When someone needs attention its because they are in some kind of pain. Maybe the pain is not cluster pain, but as a member of the family don’t we as supporters and friends owe it to ourselves to help them. Would we let our child run away or would we find out what’s wrong? We would go after them and try to fix it. I have. I know my opinion doesn’t mean a lot here I don’t come here often, but only out of respect for my wife.. I know her well enough to know how much each of you means to her, not just the old ones but the new ones as well. I know Johnnie is hurting right now. I know she is worried about her friend Jackie, her friend Margi, and some others who are in pain. Last night she came to bed and was upset cause a lady in chat was being attacked and she couldn’t do anything about it. I apologies for the length of this post. I just felt like reading throught the lines you might see pain that someone is trying to hide but yet they are trying to let it out, and they don't know how. |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Big_Dan on May 17th, 2003, 11:43am I don't believe that I know Elaine all that well, but I wish her PFDAN's.... ... I'm glad that she is such a strong supporter of others, and that you are supportive of her.... without people like you... there would be no O.U.C.H, CH.com, or any other type of support.... and we'd all be living in the dark.... -Big Dan |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by suzy617 on May 17th, 2003, 12:14pm I have not much to say except that you sound like a very dear and loving husband to Elaine and that you are both blessed to have each other. I dont know Elaine well but from reading all her posts I have come to sense the caring person that she truely is. I wish her nothing but peace, painfree time and good health always. I am also one of the fortunate ones who will have my name on a rock in her garden. ;) Suzy |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by JDH on May 17th, 2003, 12:17pm Thanks for sharing Buddy. And a BIG HUGE thank you to Elaine for all you do. the world needs more people like you. pfdan's Jim |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by DaveHar on May 17th, 2003, 1:20pm Buddy I do not know you at all but the words you wrote have said volumes. Volumes about the woman you love and yourself. One thing I do know and that is how very special E is to myself and many others on this board. She gave all of us a home in HSG to gather and talk real time. She gave me Leesa and a wonderful baby boy that I would have never have had if it were not for her and that I will never forget. She has given me my life back and saved me from ending it all. She has given my family back a son that was thought to be lost forever. Thank you for sharing those words with us and reminding us all how very very special that woman is. E, THANK YOU for all you have given me! Dave |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Margi on May 17th, 2003, 1:30pm Buddy, I've got two words for you: YOU ROCK! Thanks for putting into words what so many of us feel in our heart about Johnnie/Elaine. And, please....tell her to stop worrying about us, we're fine, everything will turn out fine. To quote probably the best friend I've ever been blessed with (Elaine) - 'this ain't SHEEIIITTT'. Go give her a great big hug from me, would you and tell her that I told you that you're allowed to kiss her cute ass, too. :) |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Wendy the Brit on May 17th, 2003, 1:41pm Buddy and Elaine Humbled Wendy the Brit |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Hound_Dogg on May 17th, 2003, 1:50pm What can be said..... :'( :D :) Every emotion there is. Good luck guys. Jim |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Jackie on May 17th, 2003, 2:27pm Thank you for sharing that with us, Buddy. I knew most of it but I liked reading it anyway...very much :) If it's hurt, lonely, sick, broke, sad, picked on, put upon, in need, mistreated, bullied, pitiful, etc., etc., etc....Elaine will champion it's cause. That's my friends MO. One quick story at E's expense..... ;D We were on our way to the airport, returning home from the Florida gathering. The driver mentioned that there had been some wild hogs spotted along the road we were traveling and said they had babies. I told the driver..."Speed up and don't stop for anything !!!! If she (E) spots those pigs we'll have to take them home with us because she'll be sure they aren't being taken care of well enough." We didn't see the pigs... ;D Whew!!!!!! Thanks again for the post, Buddy..... :D Elaine, go give Buddy a kiss..... ;) Love to you both, Jacks 8) |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by cbolony on May 17th, 2003, 3:12pm BuddyH you are one hell of a husband.I like see a husband who supports is wife the way that you do.Not much of that in todays world.And as for Elaine i been here over a year and she supported so many people even the newbies such as myself she was always there for them to answers there questions. BuddyH you got one hell of a wife. Charles from New York |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Linda_Howell on May 17th, 2003, 3:20pm Oh, you're wrong Buddy. Your opinion DOES mean a lot here. And Elaine is every bit as caring and as wonderful as you decribe her.......except for when she told me in Vancouver that I DO NOT have cluster headaches because after getting hit really bad, one night, I actually went to bed without having a cigarette first. Sheesh. LindaH |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Mastifflvr28 on May 17th, 2003, 3:38pm Hey Elaine... I told ya he loved you!! (as do the rest of us) :) Mast |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by jonny on May 17th, 2003, 5:27pm I think as a general rule no one here will fuck with E on my watch unless they just washed up and I would have to drown them. I met you Buddy and you were very nice to me, I know you love E as we all do (If someone dont I will have to kill them)................Elaine is the sole reason I am still here. Great post, Buddy!!! ......................................jonny |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Miklos on May 17th, 2003, 7:09pm Spent some time with Elaine on the telephone on Friday. Well worth the time. |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Mastifflvr28 on May 17th, 2003, 8:29pm CHRIST JONNY!! (just had to use that...I can hear it coming from YOUR mouth) :) Don'tcha think E can take care of herself?? :) :P Mast |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Elaine on May 17th, 2003, 9:02pm WOW!! I have no idea what to say about this, other than Buddy I love you. Guys I love you all to. Buddy you need to stop worring about me. I am just fine. |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by don on May 17th, 2003, 9:22pm E deserves a guy like you Buddy. We'll meet one of these days. Does E really ahve a cute little ass? She's a hussy you know. |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Leesa on May 17th, 2003, 11:57pm Buddy your a lucky man to have such a giving and loving woman such as E. I know and love her very much. She gives with out ? and loves the same way. We are very lucky to have her in our lives. My very best to both of you and E you will forever be "Lady Elaine" to me cuz thats what you are a true Lady if there ever was one. Buddy thank you!!!!! Love to you both, Leesa ;D |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Callico_Kid on May 18th, 2003, 12:19am Buddy, As one who has been here for only a short time, but lurked for a while because I didn't know enough to even ask an intelligent question I can say that Elaine has been a very important person in my life. Reading her posts has always helped. Her love for the rest of us comes through even when she thinks not. When she found cancer some time ago she went on my prayer list although I didn't take the time to write. For that Elaine I appologize, but you have been on my prayer list from that time on, and I will continue to keep you there as long as God blesses us with you. Thanks, Buddy, for speaking up. Your opinion as the other half of Elaine is valued. Jerry |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by BuddyH on May 18th, 2003, 4:02am My point was to let people know that people here are good and well thought of. If you don’t know someone and want to. Then write them and get to know them. There is no written rule that new comers can’t write the ones that have been here longer first. Take the time to get to know people here before you tear each other up. That no good idiot on the board, just might turn out to be your best friend, if you took the time to get to know him or her. Jackie it would not surprise me one bit to see a pig running around this house. I worry a little about what Johnnie will bring home, now that we live in the country. Jonny I never worry about my wife when she is with you. I know you will watch out for her. I know how special you are to her. Margi you take care, Johnnie and I are thinking about you. Margi if you need someone to talk to that has been where you are please write me. I can listen. I do know what you are feeling right now. Don my wife has a very cute ass. The rest of her is cute too. I like it when she puts on her heels, a low cut top and a tight short skirt, and some make up. I like to show her off. The best feeling in the world is to waltz across the dance floor with her in my arms, and all eyes on her. I know she is a hussy she cybers and tells. I want to thank you Don for some great nights. Don your going to have to keep your cybering to the week ends. I am older than she is, I need a break sometimes. ;D Wishing you all pain free days and nights ahead. |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Peppermint on May 18th, 2003, 8:27am Gosh Buddy - You are something else! :) Obvious as it may sound, E is lucky to have you. Things may not always be what they seem to be from the posts on this board, it is only gives a miniscule glimpse of someone's life. Elaine and I talk from time to time, first time she called me, and I was so surprised, shocked, happy, confused - things then were just as complicated as life is....and she has a wonderful perspective on things. I won't say much more, for fear of doing what I always do. Thanks for keeping it real. You are one sweet couple. :) Pepp |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Edna on May 18th, 2003, 12:47pm :-* that's for both of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Warm wishes headed your way guys, EDNA |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by cathy on May 18th, 2003, 1:40pm Buddy.....you have a very special lady there as you know, and Elaine you are lucky to have such a special man in your life, (along side Don... ;)) Elaine has been there for me and Wes when we needed someone. A big hug for you Elaine. Take care. Cathy :) |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by kim on May 18th, 2003, 2:03pm This thread warmed my heart like no other has for a LONG TIME. Thank you Buddy. You are a smart man with a HUGE heart!!!! We can't all be on the same base at the same time, but posts like yours invite ALL to at least LISTEN. :)........and give us hope. Wishing you and Elaine days filled with smiles and nights filled with peace. Toe sucker ;D |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by CathiP on May 18th, 2003, 3:56pm Buddy & Elaine- Bravo! Not only do you share a deep abiding love for each other....but your hearts are sooo big, you share that love with everyone you come in contact with. May you continue your love affair, both with each other, as well as the rest of this planet, for a very long time. Constantly in awe, Cathi |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by NotH20 on May 19th, 2003, 10:45am Buddy, I've met Elaine two different times - and she had nothing but loving things to say about you. You two seem so giving to each other - what a nice thing to see and to know. I think of Lady E each and every day - I look at my OUCH mouse pad and think of that first meeting with her - the first time EVER meeting a fellow ch'er. I was a basket full of emtions and she just came up and gave me a BIG OLE HUG!!! :) The last time we met - she said she was going to bring you along but you didn't show up. Next time you won't have an excuse Buddy - I'll expect you there. ;) Mia |
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Title: Re: I support my wife Elaine! Part 1 Post by Roxy on May 19th, 2003, 11:43am This was a very moving post by a man who loves his wife very much. Thank you for sharing your feelings Buddy. You both sound like people I would really like to meet. Maybe someday it will be possible. Thank you for the heartwarming thread, Tracey |
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