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(Message started by: Miklos on Apr 28th, 2003, 8:12pm)
Title: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 28th, 2003, 8:12pm
Writing from a southeast suburb of Iowa Park.

Now, the following is just speculation so please do not laugh because if you do, it would hurt my feelings. This is serious business!

Back in the 1970s when I was completing my MS in psychology and preparing to become licensed in the state of California (which I did), I ran across an article in physiological psychology about the fastest ways to get intoxicated. The second fastest way was to put grain alcohol in a perfume atomizer and inhale. Way bad because this technique introduced some really nasty carcinogens into your lungs (kind of like smoking nine or ten packs of cigarettes a day).

The fastest way to get intoxicated (practically instantaneous) was with an enema of grain alcohol (or maybe a quart of your favorite beverage). It works quickly due to the liquid absorbing properties of the lower bowel.

Recently someone (Georgia?) described the benefits of bleu cheese and apple cider vinegar. When I huff said vinegar straight from the bottle (Heinz Rules!), I can chase away shadows and some middle level headaches, but it does not work on eight and up.

Hypothesis: Do you think that introducing this marvelous Heinz product from the bottom instead of the top might ameliorate the high level headaches, assuming that I was capable of performing the procedure during a ten? And, if so, would the residual vinegar circulating in my system chase away the follow-on headaches? If it did work, it would certainly give new meaning to pucker power, and it certainly would be cheaper than Imitrex.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by don on Apr 28th, 2003, 8:15pm
You are very ill Miklos. Very, very ill.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Not4Hire on Apr 28th, 2003, 8:23pm
...tell us how it ...uh, goes...... and ALWAYS take the necessary, uh, precautions........

BOB!....add this one to the LIST........

..fire in the hole......CLEAR!

:o
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by forgetfulnot on Apr 28th, 2003, 8:26pm
I always hoped their was a reason took psychology in school, now we know why. ::)
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Mark C on Apr 28th, 2003, 8:55pm
Let me know how it goes, I used to sell plumbing and if it works we can make a $fortune.$     ;)
I missed out on vibratiting glasses and Boji Stones...I aint missing this one.   ;D

http://uselessgraphics.com/carto1710.gif
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:02pm
MarK C. Thank you for the compliment. Given other posts I have seen written by you, I would not have thought that you would waste that many words -and- an animation on my hypothesis. Gives new meaning to "suck it up" doesn't it?
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by eyes_afire on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:04pm
Hi there Miklos.  Serious business indeed.  My advice:  Don't do it.  Vinegar is extremely acidic (more than you realize).  My bottle sez:  'diluted with water to a uniform pickling and table strength of 5% acidity'.  That, my friends, is quite acidic to consume.  Most of the human stomach acid, stays in the stomach.  The large intestine is not designed to handle acidic substances.  In my opinion, you run the risk of burning a hole in your large intestine, which in the long run may end up being more expensive than imitrex.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by cootie on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:17pm
douche bag talk.......blahhhh.......not a sour puss Pam  ;D
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:20pm
eyes_afire

Please review dons' comment. And, welcome to the Tuna Club.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Frank on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:32pm
The butt was not made for anything to go up it.... only out.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:39pm
Frank

You have obviously not had the mandatory over-50 sigmoidoscopy or colonoscopy yet. And, I have to do it again three years from now.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Mark C on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:39pm
A long time ago I had to take a drug screen, cause I was drivin' a truck. I was not able to pass on my own, so the accepted methed would be to consume a "jar" of white vinegar.....which I did.. :P This would detoxicfy me in time for the test. All it did was pickle my innderds and made me burp funny for a couple of day....and I failed the test!.

Now...I go here. (http://www.urineluck.com/)

I am gonna go take a nap now....

Goodnight,
Mark
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Frank on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:46pm

on 04/28/03 at 21:39:32, Miklos wrote:
Frank

You have obviously not had the mandatory over-50 sigmoidoscopy or colonoscopy yet. And, I have to do it again three years from now.

Nope. They're never going to put one of those tubes up my butt! Im 46 years-old and have never had stitches or a cast... and not about to have one of them either. ;D
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:47pm
Pam (whose notes I admire immensely 'cause they're funny as hell), did you spell one of the words below incorrectly?

                             not a sour puss
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by cootie on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:55pm
;D
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by don on Apr 28th, 2003, 10:00pm
Let me clear something up, (now thats a choice phrase)


Quote:
You are very ill Miklos. Very, very ill.


This not neccesarily a bad thing.

Tuna club. I like that. Specially on white toast
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by catlind on Apr 28th, 2003, 10:05pm
Miklos,

I understand the seriousness with which you are addressing the question.

However, something tells me you were in the van too long with the cuban circus midgets! LOL  (just can't let that on off easy)

Let us know if it works :)

Cat
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by eyes_afire on Apr 28th, 2003, 10:08pm
Argh... Hook in mouth
;D

I submit.

http://home.att.net/~witchfinder/confused_smiley.gif
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 28th, 2003, 10:26pm
Frank

I am going to push the edge here a bit. Colo-rectal cancer is one of the easiest cancer problems to ward off.  But, -you- have to participate.

After age 50, you go get your butt reamed with a sigmoidoscopy. If they find no polyps, you are home free. Until one or two years later when you have to do it again. You will be awake during the procedure. It is uncomfortable, but not miserable. The prep is the shits and is worse than the procedure.

If the doctor finds polyps, then you have to have a colonoscopy. Fortunately, they knock you out for this one. The prep is even worse than the stuff for the sigmoidoscopy. Can you say "blow out?"

I fought having both procedures for years. I delayed and procrastinated. Dumb! Remove the polyps and there is no potential for cancer. Polyps can evolve into cancer which you could have avoided.

Pardon the evangelism from a butt-fucked colonoscopy patient. I did have polyps. No more though!
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Frank on Apr 28th, 2003, 10:51pm
You're right... A good friend of mine died from colon cancer. She went though all of surgical treatments... bag hanging outside, chemo, and other treatments. It still killed her inside of three years. I'm 46, so I guess I have another 3-4 years to get myself psyched about the doctor giving me butt plugs.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Charlie on Apr 29th, 2003, 12:05am
Agree with the colon cancer.

As for the vinegar....sounds like:

http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/BadScience128.gif

Charlie  8)
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Ueli on Apr 29th, 2003, 7:30am
Acetic acid or vinegar is a simple chemical compound, produced since ancient times with the help of aerobic bacteria from ethanol (alcohol):

CH3CH2OH + O2  ---->  CH3COOH + H2O

If you use vinegar to spice your salad it obviously depends on taste what sort you use, made from various sorts of wine, cider, or anything else containing alcohol.

But what surprises me is that for your special use you explicitly specify apple cider vinegar. Either the acetic acid does the trick, and then its source is not important; or some chemical from the cider is active, then we don't need the acetic acid.

Go back to your books!

Therefore, I agree with Charlie.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Mark C on Apr 29th, 2003, 7:50am
My Father died at 46 from coloncancer. At age 35 I started going every five years for the colonoscopy. Doc's tell me their almost certain it's genetic at that early of an age. The prep is bad, clear fluids for 24 hours prior and the most powerful laxitive known to man! Talk about cleansing! Demerol cocktail makes the actual procedure kinda nice  ;D

We just happen to have the inventer of the Colonoscope, Dr Gene Overholt (http://www.giahealth.com/bergein.htm) right here in Knoxville Tennessee. Another cool thing, my Doctor, Sarkis J. Chobanian (http://www.giahealth.com/chobanian.htm), is the same Doctor who removed President Reagan's polyps! One good conservative to another!


Sitting tight,
Mark
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 29th, 2003, 9:05am
Charlie and Ueli,

Please go back and read don's first response in this session. Then, along with eyes_afire, you will discover that you have joined the small, but ever growing Tuna Club. I personally am a charter member.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Roxy on Apr 29th, 2003, 9:06am

on 04/28/03 at 20:12:48, Miklos wrote:
Writing from a southeast suburb of Iowa Park.



ROTFLMFAO

I'll be down in your little suburb tonight, staying for a week or so.  Looking forward to trying out some of ya'lls little hometown restaurants.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Wendy the Brit on Apr 29th, 2003, 9:44am
Don

Your stalker here

How you doin?
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by cathy on Apr 29th, 2003, 10:32am


Why I want to know is how come your stomach doesn't digest itself...????  ???

Cathy  :)
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Mark C on Apr 29th, 2003, 10:46am

on 04/29/03 at 10:32:58, cathy wrote:
Why I want to know is how come your stomach doesn't digest itself...????  ???

Cathy  :)


You really don't want to know the answer to that one!  ;D
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by cathy on Apr 29th, 2003, 10:52am



                                                 ???
                           


                                         
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by cootie on Apr 29th, 2003, 12:35pm
Did you guys take bio-colonic's in school ? Atomic colonic Pam
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Miklos on Apr 29th, 2003, 12:57pm
Never took bio-colonics. Was more interested in the Braille Biology curriculum. Unfortunately, my lab partner and I never got to the end of the course.

Of course, if one ingests goodly doses of lithium on a regular basis, one will -never- have need of any kind of colonic. Will occasionally blow the door off the stall and render the room unfit for human habitation. Not that I live bathrooms. Well, not a lot.
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by brain_cramps on Apr 29th, 2003, 1:19pm

on 04/29/03 at 12:57:40, Miklos wrote:
Was more interested in the Braille Biology curriculum.

;D


on 04/29/03 at 12:57:40, Miklos wrote:
Unfortunately, my lab partner and I never got to the end of the course.

NEVER?    :o
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by Mark C on Apr 30th, 2003, 4:24pm
OK Cathy....here ya go.


Why Doesn't The Stomach Digest Itself?




If you were to put a piece of zinc into a cup of gastric acid, the zinc would dissolve. It's therefore not surprising that the stomach's digestive juices can make short work of anything we deliberately feed to it.

But why doesn't the stomach eat itself? In a manner of speaking, it does. The stomach is lined with a dense layer of cells, called epithelial cells, which continually sacrifice themselves in order to protect deeper layers of the stomach wall. Each minute, the surface lining sheds some 500,000 cells, and it completely replaces itself in three days.

This is in much the same manner that ablative heat shields attached to space vehicles are flaked off and carried away during reentry. This also carries away the heat and protects the vulnerable space capsule lying beneath.

The main components of digestive juices are a protein-digesting enzyme called pepsin and hydrochloric acid. The pepsin is relatively harmless, but hydrochloric acid is extremely caustic and can dissolve tissue in hours. If too much is secreted, the regenerative properties of the epithelial cells may be overcome, the wall breached, and an ulcer produced.

In addition, some substances penetrate the epithelial wall better than others. Among these are vinegar, aspirin, orange juice and many forms of detergents such as those used in some toothpastes.

So when you get up in the morning, if you have a glass of orange juice and an aspirin for breakfast, you're only begging for a case of heartburn.

This article is provided as a public service by the Geophysical Institute, University of Alaska Fairbanks, in cooperation with the UAF research community.



;D
Title: Re: High Colonic
Post by cathy on Apr 30th, 2003, 6:35pm


Marc.....thank god for my epithelial cells then!!!  ;D

Cathy


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