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(Message started by: Kenzie60 on Apr 22nd, 2003, 2:15pm)
Title: Feeling very depressed
Post by Kenzie60 on Apr 22nd, 2003, 2:15pm
:( :( :( :( :(

I have been very depressed and I can't seem  to shake it.  I want to go out and do things, but I am afraid the demon with visit when I am not at home.  Anyone else feel like this?
Roseanne
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by suzy617 on Apr 22nd, 2003, 2:22pm
Roseanne,

Take your meds, your 02, whatever you got and hit the road.....
Dont ever let the bastard keep you prisoner in your house.
If I were close by, I'd ring ya bell and drag you out.  ;)

Wishing you well,
Suzy
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by echo on Apr 22nd, 2003, 2:24pm
Been there done that.  I know what you mean when you have fear of the beast clamping down on you when you are out of your home element.  Chin up, walk out the door and slap the SOB on the face as you leave.  

Wish you luck.  Hang in there.
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by JDH on Apr 22nd, 2003, 3:04pm
Roseanne,
I know what you mean about not going out of the house while you're getting hit. I used to shut it down once a cycle started but then I realized if you're going do that then you're admitting defeat.
You just gotta do like the others said and pack up whatever works for you and go for it.
You're losing the battle when you let the beast control your life so get out there and enjoy the pf times and try not to dwell on that next ch...it just ain't worth it.
pfdan's to you,
Jim
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by tanner on Apr 22nd, 2003, 3:18pm
roseanne, i have been sitting here doing the same thing and you know what.........

                                         demon be damned!!!

lets get the hell outa here ;)

cmon now feel better... ok,             tim
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by cathy on Apr 22nd, 2003, 3:35pm
Hey Roseanne and Tim....get yourselves up and out...... look at all the fun you could be missing....!!!!!

              http://www.free-clipart.net/gallery/animations/misc/dancfrog.gif

Cathy  :)
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by cbolony on Apr 22nd, 2003, 4:07pm
Kenzie60 when go out i take the imitrex injection with me they are always in my pocket.when i go out and start
drinking and the beast hits me i just go in the mens room and take a shot.Fuck it the beast will never win
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by don on Apr 22nd, 2003, 4:24pm
ATTA GIRL SUZIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You heard her Kenzie. Load em up and move em out!
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by justin on Apr 22nd, 2003, 4:37pm
i just make sure to have my statdose pen with me at all times. don't let it control you.

hey if it's bad. see someone. i did and i take 30mg of celexa everyday for the depression. works very well i feel

jd
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by Callico_Kid on Apr 23rd, 2003, 1:26am
Get out and do something!!!  It is embarassing to be hit in public, but you cannot stay in all of your life.  That will fuel your depression.  the CH depresses us enough, but shutting ourselves off from the world around us is even worse.

I was on some anti depressants a couple of years ago, and the side effects were worse than the depression!  I finally decided that I had a choice of attitude toward life and I chose to LIVE!  I threw away the Prozac that made me a zombie with no desire for enjoying life, but made me endure it and started using St. Johns Wort to help out with my chemical imbalance.  Some days do get rough, but my mind is made up that I will live and not just endure.

YOU CAN DO IT ;)

jc
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by cluster0557 on Apr 23rd, 2003, 2:23am

on 04/22/03 at 16:37:22, justin wrote:
i just make sure to have my statdose pen with me at all times. don't let it control you.


Like Justin I have  a stadose kit in the car for wherever I go. One in each of our family vehicles and even one in da boat.

As to depression I had Prozac. The I realized that succumbing to the beast causing deppresion was letting it win.

Instead now I visualize beating the daylights outta the beast when I go into stress management with punching bag in workout room.
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by maggie_may on Apr 23rd, 2003, 7:03am
Roseanne,

I know exactly what you mean.  The last few years before this past cycle I was there right where you are.  I was so afraid that if I went out, I'd get hit and then it would turn into a big mess.  Of course, that was before I was diagnosed and finally got all the right meds.  Now that I've got all that, I go out, but I'm sure I carry my injections wherever I go - there's some at work, at home, and always in my purse.  I even keep the instruction book in there just in case it gets bad enough that someone else has to give me my meds.

But I go out now. I've finally chosen that CH will not keep me captive and that I have to go out and live my life.  If I get attacked in public (which happens a lot for me since I get most of mine during the day), yeah, it sucks and it's embarrassing.  But I've learned that I can't let it feed my anxiety and depression.  Enjoy the PF times.

wishing you well,

maggie
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by Kenzie60 on Apr 23rd, 2003, 11:28am
I just wanted to thank everyone for their support.  I carry my statdose all the time, but they do not relieve the CH.  The only thing that relieves them is O2.
Last night my husband made me go to WalMart with him, just to get me out to the house.  It was nice to get out, and thank god no major CH.  

Thanks for listening.
Roseanne :D
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by suzy617 on Apr 23rd, 2003, 11:41am
Thats why we are here, Roseanne.  ;)

suzy
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by ol_jv on Apr 23rd, 2003, 2:42pm
hey, I know what you mean.  this past saturday I turned down going fishing with my son in laws because I was afraid HE would hit me on the boat and I would be embarrassed by rolling around on the bottom of it.  Then the whole evening passed and I never had a problem (while sitting at home).  I think the other responses are right, we may have to adjust but don't have to quit living.  It may a long time before I get the opportunity to go fishing again, but next time, I won't miss it.  The other messages talk about 'hang in there, it will pass'.  Mine are chronic, they don't pass, but there are better periods of time when the meds keep them at bay.  I just found this site a few days ago and I never realized there were so many people who have cluster headaches, I thought I was a freak.  It's kind of nice to know your not.  Like the others said, hang in there, life will still go on and soon[/i]it will get better[i]
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by Big_Dan on Apr 23rd, 2003, 2:54pm
Hey Kenzie....

I'm on the road 6 days of the week.  The best thing to do if you want to get out is get a portable O2 tank that you can keep in your car, with an extra mask.  I'm lugging six of them around right now, but I don't get hit as often, and think I may be getting paranoid about it.  Anyway, just keep it in the back seat or somewhere accessible....

... just a suggestion...

... but you can't let it get you down.... or afraid.  I did that a while back, trying to keep myself awake for 2 days, and then thought "This is re-gawdamn-diculous."...  Just tell him to kiss your ass, and get out there and live, damnit!... :)

-Big Dan
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by Ted on Apr 23rd, 2003, 2:59pm
Roseanne, your husband did a good thing by taking you out to Walmart with him. I'm chronic and was not going out at all for cloes to a year when I went through that time getting hit every hour or two. The only place I'd go is the bar a mile from home, and the closeness to home was the main reason I went to that one. I didn't work (I just lived off my savings and blew thousands doing that) or do anything else, for that matter. I just sat in my house, scared to leave and getting deeper in a rut. afew weeks before 9-11 happened my head finally started improving where I'd get only 2-5 attacks per day, but I stayed home still scared and sad. After 9-11 happened I kicked myself in the ass and told myself to be a productive member of society again so I found a p/t job. For the first month I was so excited to go to work because I had human interaction again. That made such a difference in my mood (I'm now working 60 hours per week with 2 jobs). I'd suggest you do that too. Find yourself a part time job, just to get out of the house for a few hours a day.
Title: Re: Feeling very depressed
Post by NotH20 on Apr 23rd, 2003, 3:07pm
Roseanne - we've all be there and feel your pain (literally!!)  We've been afraid, scared and ashamed when/if we get hit in public.  Adding depression on top of that is even worse.

Try to surround yourself with positive people - do small things to obtain some confidence that you CAN handle getting hit in public.  I totally agree - get help if you need it.

Life is too short to have the beast steal any more time than he already gets.  Check into the portable O2 tanks.  My experience w/ them is that they are so small and run out pretty quick.  I just take an E cylinder with me now - at work, home and in the car.

You'll be fine Roseanne.  Being out and enjoying some fresh air with your hubby is what this ch'er says you need   ;)

Keep us posted,
Mia


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