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        New Message Board Archives >> 2003 Posts >> Headlines
        
(Message started by: Ted on Apr 22^nd, 2003, 7:46am)

Title: Headlines
Post by Ted on Apr 22^nd, 2003, 7:46am

Heart disease is the Number One killer of women; "unless you're married to Scott Peterson," hedges CDC spokesman

1 in 4 Harlem kids has Asthma; Musicologists fear upcoming shortage of Human Beat Boxes may signal end of "old-school" hip-hop

Laci Peterson's husband arrested with $10,000 in cash just 30 miles from Mexico; "While it does look suspicious, to be fair, it also sounds like the beginnings of a pretty good weekend," notes San Diego policeman who likes to party

Depression common in childhood obesity; "and offering kids an ice cream cone to make them feel better just makes it worse," says saddened parent

Bush says Syria is "getting the message" on Iraq; apparently, the message is "do whatever I want or America will bust your face in, you heathen sand-black persons"

The estate of deceased historian/accused-plagiarist Stephen Ambrose to release new children's book about exploring the Louisiana Purchase; working title was "Lewis and Clark: 2 Cats in Hats"

17 of 24 Albatross species face possible extinction; "There has never been a better time to be an Ancient Mariner!" beams elderly seafarer with glittering eye

Exposing infants to white noise may interfere with speech development; exposing them to black noise may lead to ebonics

Pilots now "packing heat in the cockpit;" Gay porn producers get yet another movie title from airline industry

In Florida, efforts continue to save beached whales; "Stop poking me!" growls sunbathing Rosie O'Donnell.

Title: Re: Headlines
Post by Roxy on Apr 23^rd, 2003, 9:56am

ROTFLMFAO

Some of these were pretty darn funny!

Title: Re: Headlines
Post by brain_cramps on Apr 23^rd, 2003, 11:22am

on 04/22/03 at 07:46:54, Ted wrote:

In Florida, efforts continue to save beached whales; "Stop poking me!" growls sunbathing Rosie O'Donnell.

LMAO !!! That one made my day already!!!

Title: Re: Headlines
Post by echo on Apr 23^rd, 2003, 11:33am

I love these.. Keep em coming.