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Title: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by catlind on Feb 19th, 2003, 9:39am Hey everyone, It's been awhile since I've had to ask for everyone's vibes, and I wasn't going to do it, for no other reason than because I felt I was responsible for my own situation. The situation is this, my cycle is coming to an end THANK GAWD. However, because of the problems with the triptans and ergot compounds, I've been dealing with my headaches using Celexa, O2 and hydrocodone. On Sat. I was shadowing and immediately went for my pills. I realized what had happened and flushed them all down the toilet. Sooo I find myself going through some serious withdrawal that I wasn't expecting. I'm crying at the drop of a hat, shaking, mentally and physically exhausted (which I was when I was taking the damn things too). I'm just having a really rough go of things this time around. I took the pills the way they were prescribed, I did not overuse or abuse them, but I was instructed to take 2 tablets at the first sign of a headache and hit the O2. Sure it worked. And for the last 3 months I've been eating 8 hydrocodone a day. What I thought was controlling my headaches, was controlling me. Now the rough road sets in of taking no pain relievers at all and hoping to get through. My anxiety level is quite high, and I have to go in on Mon. for a colonoscopy, somethings wrong but no one's giving me any info as to what it might be. Blood in the stool and change in bowel habits yada yada. Anyway, I'm really stressed out, and anxious, and I need the help of my cluster family to get me through. Just some small vibes. Linda H, I know we've discussed the narcotics before and am I ever kicking myself for not listening to you. I know they only mask the pain. And now I'm paying for it. I wanted to get the registration forms up this week, but I'm just not up to it. I will get it done, I promise you that, but it may not be til next week when my head is on straight again. Thanks all, and sorry for the long post Luv Cat |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Roxy on Feb 19th, 2003, 9:57am Cat.....sigh.....I am so sorry :'(. I wish there was something I could do to help. You are such a strong lady. I am sending all the vibes I have your way. Hopefully, this won't last long, and I know your hubby will be right behind you...helping, as only he can. If you need us....we're here for you. Be brave and hold on, Love ya, Tracey |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by echo on Feb 19th, 2003, 9:58am Sorry to read you are going through de-tox for those pain killers, that just plain sucks. I can relate to what you are dealing with having gone through the same pains with getting away from constant use of stadol several years back. It will pass,, I promise! Vibes, prayers and support are headed your way. Hang in there cat |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Margi on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:07am VIBES and prayers for you too, Cat. remember, lil girl - you DO have a Convention Committee that can lend a hand if you need us too. Always here for you, lady. Hugs |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Peppermint on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:16am Ditto to that. and ditto again. I knew something was up. You're always on top of things Cat. However, you take the time you need for yourself and LET some of us help ya wouldja? I think we've covered this before :) BIGASS vibes to you Cat... sorry you're having such a rough time. I'll be praying for ya too.... let us know how it goes. (hsg lick to ya cat) Love, Mint |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by ave on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:28am And you were doing such a good job too, when all of this was going down!! Do as Margi says and let the committee take up some of what you cannot carry today. You'll be back "tomorrow". Thinking of you. |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by ZAIRA on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:34am Dear Cat :(, your situation is very hard and I am afraid for this :'(. I think of you, I will pray for you so that you can overcome this BAD times :'( ...know that I will be whit you... Love, Zaira :-* |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by SFChris on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:35am Cat - Sending you positive energy and good vibes... If you feel stressed and anxious, try getting some exercise. It will take your mind of the immediate stress, and may help burn the crap out of your system sooner. Sorry you have to go through this after fighting with the beast! Chris |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by cbolony on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:36am Catlind i am sending you the vibes right now i hope you can feel them |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by cootie on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:40am Hi cat......gosh sorry bout the meds problems....I went thru hell when I quit paxil but I kept my script bottle...jus in case...I always do that. Can ya get more Celexa to at least tapper that one down slowly....get some samples if not a new script...cuz yer goin thru to much change too fast it sounds like....sheeeww ! Jus a thought...I know alot of people on the Celexa they seem to really like it...for the colonostomy deal...alot of that 'normal' stuff don't stay normal as ya get older so I'm sure change alarms docs when they notice it or hear bout it...gotta quit swollowin those chew bones cat....they'll rip yer insides up ! Good luck to ya........Pamdahonkerchick |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by woobie on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:41am VIBES and HUGS!!! Im sorry Cat. :-[ I hope you can get some relief soon! Sounds like you got a lot on your plate right now. I'm so sorry! Tina :-* |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by oringkid on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:59am You can and will get through this. You are strong. You are a clusterhead!! We can handle anything!! We are all sending you strength and willpower. Sherry |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by cathy on Feb 19th, 2003, 11:07am Good Vibes...Good Vibes...Good Vibes...Good Vibes Sorry to hear your having a bad time Cat....Good Vibes coming your way... hang in there we're all with you... Cathy :) |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by kissmyglass on Feb 19th, 2003, 11:57am Hi, Sorry for the rough time.... If you flushed the hydrocodone on Saturday, today is Wednesday, half your battle is over. The withdrawals are probably at their worse now. You should feel much better by the weekend. I've been there & know how bad you feel (like death) but hang in there it's almost over. My thoughts & prayers are with you... Kev C |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Mark C on Feb 19th, 2003, 12:07pm Good for you Cat, For coming here and asking for help, for realizing you had a problem and you had the sense to do something about it. I do have personal experience with this and the "cold turkey" method is old school and may be the best way in general, however as already mentioned, some drugs should be tapered off. Either way you should be proud of yourself for taking control. All the good vibes I got coming your way...OMMMMMMMMM.... ;D Mark |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by catlind on Feb 19th, 2003, 12:07pm :'( I can't express just how much I love this family. Thank you all, through you and with you I can beat this, and we can all beat the beast. My committee is so great, and ya think I'd learn to let them help ;) I'll be calling on ya! Luv Cat |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by BruceD on Feb 19th, 2003, 12:18pm Cat, Good for you to realize the problem and to take the steps necessary to beat it. I'll be prayin' for you & your family as you work through it. Take care Bruce |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Svenn on Feb 19th, 2003, 12:23pm on its way to you and your family Cat Svenn |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by suzy617 on Feb 19th, 2003, 12:56pm Hang in there Cat. Take one hour at a time, one day at a time. Before you know it, this will all be just a bad memory. Good Vibes coming your way .....We are all pulling for ya! http://www.uselessgraphics.com/Copy_2_of_wave.gif suzy |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by TomM on Feb 19th, 2003, 1:39pm Cat--I hope all went well. Sending good vibes atcha'. TomM ;D |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Karla on Feb 19th, 2003, 1:40pm Cat, so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. It is never easy to do but is definetly the smarter choice. I will be praying for you to get through this. Remember keep things simple right now, focus just on today, and take things one day at a time. (((((((((((((((Cat))))))))))))))))) |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by brain_cramps on Feb 19th, 2003, 2:15pm on 02/19/03 at 11:57:04, kissmyglass wrote:
Couldn't have worded it better myself! Been down that road before and I know how it doesn't feel fair to fight this battle right after finishing your battle with the beast. If its any consolation, this battle should be MUCH easier, especially for someone as tough as you. Chin up... This won't take long. ;) grant |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Jim R on Feb 19th, 2003, 2:50pm Wishing the best with this Cat and hoping the worst is behind you. And I really glad your cycle is ending! ;D Long cycles are a real killer.... PFDAN's to ya! Jim R |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by BonnieW on Feb 19th, 2003, 3:22pm Cat, Thoughts and prayers coming your way. Hang in there and things will be better soon. Let me know if I can help in any way too. |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by jonny on Feb 19th, 2003, 3:30pm Thinking of you, Cat, E-mail me if theres anything I can do. You will be feeling better soon, how do I know? Because I say so, Damn it!!!! You hear me?.....I hear me!!!! .........................jonny |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by domm on Feb 19th, 2003, 5:56pm cat - you are in my prayers and thoughts. I know you are tougher than any drugs - hell - you have survived clusters...... You will survive this. Hang tough sis domm |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Tim_w on Feb 19th, 2003, 6:49pm Cat Hope you are filling better! :-* Here is a kiss to help you fill better! There are some redneck good vibs headed your way! If that doent work think kick ass kick ass >:( ( All together now KICK ASS !!!!!!!!) Tim-w |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Opus on Feb 19th, 2003, 8:08pm Cat.... I hope and pray that you get over the withdrawl symptoms and your cycle ends. Your story makes me glad that Narcotics make my CH pain worse. I believe now that my last cycle was really bad becouse the docs had me taking so many NSAID's. This cycle I am not taking any and I haven't had anything over a 6 yet. By the way you must have 8' of snow on the ground by now. The kids your way will be going to school in August. Opus :P |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Ann on Feb 19th, 2003, 8:21pm Hey sweety!! I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time lately. But things are looking up! Your cycle's over, and in a few days, you'll be feeling like your old self again. I'm giving you the biggest hug ever and I'm not letting go until you tell me I can! Can you feel it? I'm all over you! LOL big smooch with that hug! ;D Ann |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Linda_Howell on Feb 19th, 2003, 8:31pm YOU CAN DO THIS CAT!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN!!!! Linda H |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Charlie on Feb 19th, 2003, 9:46pm http://www.smiliegenerator.de/s6/smilies-6964.png Charlie |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Mastifflvr28 on Feb 19th, 2003, 10:57pm HUGE BIGASS VIBES GOING OUT TO YOU CAT!!!!! You do what YOU gotta do to get through this. Do not worry about US right now, Take care of you!! I hear Jonny! Mast |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by tanner on Feb 20th, 2003, 6:04am cat' i'm sending all the good voodoo vibes i can manage and having read (and felt) all the strength in your various posts i know you will weather this storm in record time.... if ya ever need to stay up late or early and talk to someone that has made the same mistake (more then once) e-mail me and i'll give ya the # all the best....... tim |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Hound_Dogg on Feb 20th, 2003, 7:31am Cat, I was gonna recommend tapering...but since you've been off of them since Saturday...there's really no reason to now. Just hang in there the worst should be over...Also you're bowel problems could have been caused by the Hydrocodone. But still go through the tests to make sure. Good Vibes coming from the Delaware Valley. Please everybody-Narcotic Pain-Killers are a good last-line treatment for moderate to severe pain, but if you take them for more then 3 weeks or so, you've got to taper off slowly. Especially if you're taking more then 3x's a day. Good Luck, Cat... |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by das on Feb 20th, 2003, 8:40am Cat, This is exactly why I hate meds. You suffer with the attacks and now you are suffering because of the meds too. I am of the opinion that meds or no meds, the CHs come and go as they please. I once got great advice from someone here. I was told to ask myself what all the meds were doing for me. The only answer I was able to come up with was...nothing. Hang in there. We are all with you in spirit. DAS |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by hdbngr on Feb 20th, 2003, 10:36am Cat: Hang in there! One of life's great mysteries that something that is supposed to help pain actually makes it worse in the long run. Something that will help right now: Benedryl chewables. Helps combat the shakey/jumpy/nausea feeling that you get if you get into a rebound and stop taking a med suddenly. Drink lots of water, too, and we'll be thinking about you. Wishing you luck with your test results, and glad you are coming out of your cycle. Hope you are feeling better soon. Vanasa |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by catlind on Feb 20th, 2003, 1:10pm on 02/20/03 at 08:40:11, das wrote:
That was exactly what I asked and answered on Sat. Thank you everyone, you have no idea how much your support helps, and I really truly mean that. Today has been a much better day. Yesterday was certainly the toughest so far. Today I have energy, feel more clear headed and have more belief in my ability to battle the beast narcotic free. Unfortunately I am one of the ones who was at the last line of defense and had to rely on the pain meds to help. It's because of people like Linda H and Elaine and many others here that know the ropes so well (unfortunate for them, but wonderful for us) that I continued to seek a treatment regiment that did not involve narcotics. This last cycle has proven without a doubt that the ends do not justify the means. I am now on verapamil, and O2. Because of blood pressure and heart conditions, the verapamil will be a very slow increase, but it will get there, and I think it's already doing some good (been on it since the 6th) but I know it will only work better as the dose increases and it also helps the angina and coronary artery spasms. Surprisingly it has not lowered my already low blood pressure, that has remained stable and actually gone up, but I think that was more the h-codone than the verap. I have a home monitor and check my b/p 3 times a day, and so far, everything looks great. The cardiologist said that if the verap controls the coronary artery spasms, and my b/p co-operates, after 3 months, he will approve the triptans YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!! Today is so much a better day I cannot express. Yesterday I faced many many times when my head was hurting (not from rebound, from shadows and CH's - the rebounds were only 2 days thank gawd) and I wanted to go to the ER. I fought that all day yesterday, with many a minutes spent in tears with ice on my head. I reached out to my family here, and your support and love came crashing in. There's no question about the help it gave me, the courage, and the strength to choose to be the victor and not the victim. I felt I won a hard fought battle this morning, and the reward of that is already paying off. I am feeling far more myself, and that is what I was missing. The drugs in my system controlling me....what a fool I was. And yet I believed I could handle it, as I did with the tylox. A note for all, just because you don't overuse or abuse the narcotic, does not make you immune to the dependancy, therein lay my error in judgement. Today is a new day, and has been a good one thus far, no drugs, just lots of water, and lots of love from my family here and at home. I know there are rough days ahead, but yesterday I think was the worst. I fought the battle and I won, and am much stronger for it. There really is no way for me to articulate just how much the support from everyone means to me. There is something beyond explanation in the connection that one gains from giving and taking from this board. DJ created it, and he has made a family of us all, a port in the storm of clusters and boat rowing full steam to the cure. Luv Cat |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by CathiP on Feb 20th, 2003, 1:17pm Catlind- I was just fixin to post for an update.... so happy to see you had just done so! Yesterday was tough, but this is today, and it's gonna continue to get better every day! More energy coming your way. Cathi |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by oringkid on Feb 20th, 2003, 4:29pm Congratulations Cat, you are... Queen for a Day! Your prizes include: Renewed self esteem! Pride in your accomplishments! Love, respect and support from all your friends and family! And a 97 inch color TV!! (on back order) ;DSherry |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by kim on Feb 20th, 2003, 8:43pm Ta-Dahhhhhhhhhh! You did it. Now take a sobering and backward glance and then forever look ahead. Narcotics only make a cluster sufferer SICKER. Look forward and be freed from that ole cliche. :) Really happy for you Cat |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by Ann on Feb 20th, 2003, 8:55pm That's excellent news Cat!!! But I'm not letting go quite yet. You're still stuck right here in my giant bear hug! When I feel you knock me in the mouth with your chin, I'll know I can let go! ;D hugs Ann |
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Title: Re: Calling all clusterville for vibes and support Post by suzy617 on Feb 21st, 2003, 6:04am I'm glad things are starting to look better for you Cat. I picture in my mind that you are walking a very long street called pain but you are almost ready to turn the corner and you will have made it to PF Avenue. Keep on going girl, your almost there.... ;) suzy |
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