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        New Message Board Archives >> 2003 Posts >> Thats Just Not Cool 
        
(Message started by: LTBullitt on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 7:02pm)

Title: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by LTBullitt on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 7:02pm

A wife,husband, lover not supporting you. It's very difficult to understand. There cannot be love in these situations, not true love.
I rememeber years ago, messed up with the clusters, the mental problems. Well you all know how these things are.
My wrists had such large slashes that you couldactually see these nasty tendons on my right wrist. I was full of pills as well. I was walking the halls of my g/f appt and the blood pouring the halls. Most of my memory has become hazy of every little detail.
But I know she had been around this years, had witnessed attack after attack and my immature ways of handling it. Drinking, mind gone..pills
I walked into her appt blood soaked and all she did was smile with compassion. She stitched my wrists herself and we just chilled on her bed while she talked to me all day and into the night. A full time job, a kid, and has had suffered chronic arthritis since she was 10 years old.
It was nothing to her. I knew she was sad but didn't want me to know I can read her eyes too well
to me thats love
we stitch each other, we know we would
we love each other
it's just real, ya know
you feel it every moment
Drugs won't work, only she can take the pain away
its just one of thousand examples
real love

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by Linda_Howell on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 7:16pm

WOW! I know I should be able to say something else, but that's all that comes to mind right now.

Blew me away........

Linda Howell

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by jonny on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 7:28pm

Your out of your fucking mind if you think anyone will believe that shit, dude.......try again

.................................jonny

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by LTBullitt on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 7:35pm

Call her
want the number?

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by suzy617 on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 7:51pm

She stitched your wrist herself?? Damn....now thats true love!

Not sure what else I could say...

suzy

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by jonny on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 7:53pm

Sure, give it up.

.............................jonny

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by LTBullitt on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 8:06pm

I'm not sure why I'm being attacked for telling the truth about her. I thought she deserved it for everything she has done over the years.
Lately, she has helped to draw me more out of my shell and to deal with life in a positive manner.
The anger is leaving me and I feel more prepared to take on Ch and life in general. But she needs no defence, only I need know the truth.
I know I needed to change and fast. To cope with anger and lashing out did not work for ME. I was only falling further into depths.
Why is her life of concern to you? Please don't call her a liar, she is not.
But to maintain a positive outlook and try to get better is impossible in a hostile environment. I just want to live, not fight. And I will not find support here ever if she is attacked by anyone even if they are the fav.
Can I be driven away from the board? Yes.
I just can't continue to look at life and try to smile if I cannot talk about what helps me without negative vibes.
I can no longer do negativity as I was killing myself and only hurting others. I know it's no big loss here b/c of the way I used to handle myself and it's very hard esp on here to prove change in a person.
I just, dunno
really feel love now and will keep trying, but not here
I don't want to argue, cause bad vibes
just peace for me now
The only solution is I leave.
Like I said "big deal"
but I will miss some people
ok, its kinda hard

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by Peppermint on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 8:20pm

Andrew,

Everyone has a story. T was brave, and continues to be awesome to you and that's the way it should be. Tell her I said hi.
Please don't go away. Its not like you say. I'm glad love is finally working for you. But you were always who you are.... just had trouble dealing with all the crap and so you did what you did. You're only human. :-/

Sometimes when people have "stuff" going on in their lives, that's what happens.

whatever you do... you know how to reach me.

Love, Kid :-*

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by suzy617 on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 8:30pm

LT,

You posted because you had something of importance to you to share and you did.
Please dont leave, dont want you to go.... :(

suzy

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by Opus on Feb 2^nd, 2003, 10:07pm

LT,
As we row down this river called life there will always be rocks to sink us, sand bars to stop us, and submerged logs to hook us. Grab your oar, keep rowing, watch for the hazards and keep being swept away by the current and the ride will be easier. The rapids are still hard but they are the only real challenge.
Opus :P

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by firebrix on Feb 4^th, 2003, 3:35pm

That was a BEAUTIFUL post LTBullit
With all the flak supporters have been dealt on posts lately, it is GREAT to read a positive and good one!!
Those that have never received that kind of love from their partner could never understand what you are talking about, and they deserve our compassion. I pity the man who knows not love...........Isn't life strange - you can be so lucky to have love, yet so unlucky to get CH.
I'm gonna get flamed for this but fortunately, I'm a refractory expert, a firebrick and all the good stuff and people on this site vastly outweigh the few negatives.
Hang in there mate! Please don't leave. We need more positives! Want some refractory tuition?!!LOL
Wishing you PFDAN and lots more love!
firebrix

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by cathy on Feb 4^th, 2003, 3:45pm

LTBullitt..................

I think you should stay, I think what you wrote was from the heart and it was lovely....true love is hard to find, but when you do find it, well you just know..... :)

If you have found true love, hang on to it most people only find it once in a lifetime, some are lucky enough to find it twice....

Cathy

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by Margi on Feb 4^th, 2003, 3:47pm

LT thanks for sharing that with us. I'm with Linda on this one. All I can think to say is 'Wow' too. You're very lucky to have this gal there with you as your supporter.

I think there are probably lots more horror stories out here that supporters could tell, but we tend not to. It's all part of the feeling that we need to protect our clusterheads. I don't know that every supporter out here would be able to stitch folks up, (nor do I recommend anyone trying this at home!) but I doubt there's any true supporter amongst us who wouldn't try everything in their power to make sure that you got quick help in a situation like that.

Don't leave, LT - you're among friends here.

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by Mopar on Feb 4^th, 2003, 4:06pm

Great post LT.
I too have found love.
My partner firebrix has supported me through thick and thin - there's times when I've been unbearable but she just supported me, loved me and waited until I was over it. To find love like you and I have found is one of the greatest things that could ever happen to a person. People who have never found it cannot understand. Don't worry about being attacked and disbelieved by flamers. You and I know the truth.
If people don't believe you, Fuck them. Let them waste away in their lonely lives. Feeling pain for years is no excuse for attacking people for being honest - it makes me SO ANGRY beacause I hate bullies.
Hang in there brother. I know what you're saying.
Love conquers all. Hate achieves nothing.
Mopar

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by Mopar on Feb 4^th, 2003, 4:16pm

Check your IM jonny
Mad- Dog Mopar

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by jonny on Feb 4^th, 2003, 4:18pm

on 02/02/03 at 19:02:22, LTBullitt wrote:

My wrists had such large slashes that you couldactually see these nasty tendons on my right wrist.
I walked into her appt blood soaked and all she did was smile with compassion. She stitched my wrists herself and we just chilled on her bed while she talked to me all day and into the night.

"Smile with compassion"??

Ok, who wants to buy a bridge?? ;D

BTW: Disbelife is not "Hate".....Get it?

........................jonny

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by echo on Feb 4^th, 2003, 4:24pm

Yours stitched it up and mine would apply a tourniquet above my shoulders.

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by cathy on Feb 4^th, 2003, 5:01pm

on 02/04/03 at 16:24:56, echo wrote:

Yours stitched it up and mine would apply a tourniquet above my shoulders.

and I would undo it for you echo.... :-*

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by jonny on Feb 4^th, 2003, 6:45pm

Not to keep this going, I would like to say this.

Where was the micro surgeon to connect the nerves, arteries and tendons before this chick sewed LT up and they just chilled out throught the day into the night?

Anyone here know about arteries, nerves and tendons?

Im sure one does.

.................................jonny

"You and I know the truth.
If people don't believe you, Fuck them. Let them waste away in their lonely lives. Feeling pain for years is no excuse for attacking people for being honest - it makes me SO ANGRY beacause I hate bullies."

Wheres the Micro surgeon?

LMMFYBO!!!!! ;D

Stick around awhile and you will be able to tell when someone is pulling your chain.

I ever tell ya about the chick that showed up here claming to be a supporter of a sufferer that hung himself?

It was complete bullshit and these fine folks dont like bullshit......Get it?

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by dannyboy on Feb 5^th, 2003, 1:00am

And if he is pulling your chain ... you sure made a sad man feel better, didn't ya Jonny

And if he isn't pulling your chain or if the depth of the wound is how it felt and looked rather than a surgeon's report... you sure made a sad man feel better didn't ya Jonny

I suppose kicking pigs is one way to get your highs... but then so is kicking the hillbilly that's kicking the pig.

Danny

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by jonny on Feb 5^th, 2003, 8:00pm

Pulling of chain?

You come here two years ago selling your daddys operation as a CH cure and then Daddy comes on line and posts that you are a snot nose brat just bragging and you talk about pulling of chain?

Back to the mines black face......LOL

What a punk.

........................................jonny

Title: Re: Thats Just Not Cool
Post by dannyboy on Feb 5^th, 2003, 10:08pm

The words of the ancient Negro spiritual...Free at last, Free at last, Praise God Almighty, we're free at last!

Ai Re Aiiii, Ja, Liberate Zimbabwe!!

Wasuuuuuuup Wigga?
Danny