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Title: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by brain_cramps on Jan 28th, 2003, 3:50pm Newspaper headlines in 2036: Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens north-western United States crops & livestock. Baby conceived naturally .... scientists stumped. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) Iraq still closed off....physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% Average price of a single family home in Southern California is $2,500,000. A three bedroom apartment now rents for $8,000 a month. Celebrating Christmas now officially a felony as it offends too many people. |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by cootie on Jan 28th, 2003, 4:27pm Good one dude....but whata the price of Imitrex be ? Pam ;D |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by LTBullitt on Jan 28th, 2003, 4:31pm President Chelsea Clinton I could go for that one man. Hillary would make a wonderful prez IMO |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by Mark C on Jan 28th, 2003, 4:43pm http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/balloon3.gif |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by Charlie on Jan 28th, 2003, 11:54pm 2036: The George Bush Texon Building in Baghdad collapses from shoddy construction and the use of Indonesian steel, leveling most of the winter homes of US drug company executives. Reconstruction to be paid for by food and clothing sales tax increases to 35%. Clinton and Bush dynasties....Like the Martins and the Coys. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by Mark C on Jan 29th, 2003, 12:55pm on 01/28/03 at 23:54:48, Charlie wrote:
;D http://www.mobilehomeparkstore.com/directory/listtennesse.htm |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by Brian_Y on Jan 29th, 2003, 3:12pm People wake up and realize that right-wing politics is a waste of time and the easy way out. Feh |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by Charlie on Jan 29th, 2003, 11:23pm OK. The Martins and the Coys (Martins and McCoys) families are West Virginia mountain hillbillies who have been feuding for more than 100 years. Several of them have been killed and they are the most famous family feuders. There's even a song: "The Martins and the Coys were restless mountain boys" etc. I forget the rest. They families got to be pretty famous. God I'm old Charlie |
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Title: Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036 Post by Hound_Dogg on Jan 30th, 2003, 3:22am Isn't that the Hatfields and the McCoys??? Or am I thinking of another feuding family? |
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