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Title: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcotics Post by ami on Jan 22nd, 2003, 1:12pm I think I have Cluster Headaches. I'm not sure. I've seen numerous neurologists and had all the tests -- which have come up with nothing. I have headaches that go for a while in remission then come on like freight trains for days and then get closer and closer in space until I have them every day for long periods of time.. It's been almost a month this time around. Severity is really bad about 3 times per day -- otherwise - a general painful lull that makes me want to just rock in my chair --and I usually do.. or yell at people. I've been put on paxil -- and was hospitalized to come off of it. I've been on all kinds of narcotics -- to which I'm now addicted. Xanex, darvocet and others. I can't even get xanex anymore and now i can't get another appt until feb. 17th with a new neurologist. I feel like I"m going crazy and losing my mind. I'm drunk, drugged or something 24/7 --even at work. scared of losing my job. They never come up with any answers. I know my uncle had cluster headaches - but that's the only history I know of. I was admitted to get off of this "cycle" as they put it and had a seizure in the hospital -- then after -- leaving the hospital all wet peedpants and all - never made another appt with me until a month and a half later -- at which point -- i'd already seen anotehr doctor to get xanex and percosets for pain. i'm rigth back where i started and i don't know what to do. i feel like a time bomb.. and can't get any answers. i'm very shy -- i don't like to ask for meds -- feel like a druggy -- and when i get put off for appts -- i just say -- ok.. and take whatever they give me. i'm scared i'll be a vegetable by the time i finally get in to see another neurologist.. and with the tests showing nothing.. what are they going to say? that i have tension-migraines and i should take muscle relaxers? i've been there -- still am at times. i've also taken all migraine meds to no avail, zomig, immitrex -- you name it. i need some advice and quick. -- if anyone's out there listening. i think i can't talk to my family about it -- friends don't understand -- and i feel so alone. i feel isolated and like i'm dying. i pop pills all day and now will probably have to go to a drug dealer to get more xanex just to get throught eh dday b/c my old doc won't give it to me anymore -- says -- "go see another neurologist" -- which again -- isn't til feb. 17th. ?????? I'm just in pain. truly and honestly. don't know what to do. any advice.? -- ami |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by brain_cramps on Jan 22nd, 2003, 1:21pm 3 steps: 1 - find a neuro who knows whats what 2 - get the f*ck away from the xanax, percosits, etc!!! that shit DOESN'T help. Been down that road before. Nice and easy going down the road... Helluva a climb back up! 3 - quit cheering for the Bucs ;D |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 22nd, 2003, 1:26pm Go BUCS! Can't help it -- I'm a Huge Fan! Used to live in Cali -- but was never an Oakland Fan even then... Although I can't see two better teams -- or teams I'd like to see more -- than the ones that are here.. :) I'm trying to get off the Xanex -- What can i do for pain until I get in to see this doc? Do I bring up clusters right away? They always misdiagnose me -- and I end up on more narcotics and anti-depressants.. it's ridiculous. I think I've had all the right tests.. at least I think so.. How do I get through this pain -- any ideas - without the right meds til feb. 17th? I know I sound like a whiner -- but no one understands how much pain I'm in -- I'm even working right now -- and I just want to die -- seriously.. If I'm not drunk or on meds.. I can't stand to open my eyes or walk or leave my house. you know the drill i'm sure. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Jimi on Jan 22nd, 2003, 1:33pm I am a little surprised that imitrex, zomig etc did not work. They usually work very well for clusters. Read all the info on the left. Normally clusters come once or twice a year. You may get them 3-4 times a day or once a day. They usually last from 1/2 to 2 hours and the pain is unbearable. Then it is over until the next one hits. The cycle usually lasts from one to two months but can last longer. With all the xanex and other narcotics you are on, you may be experiencing withdrawal, rebounds etc. Oxygen also works very well for clusters. read all about that on the left as well. Then if you still feel that you have clusters, go to any doctor and get a prescription for the oxygen and another for imitrex. Good luck |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Slammy on Jan 22nd, 2003, 1:33pm ami, read your PM.... Slammy 8) |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 22nd, 2003, 1:39pm Thanks. appreciated. I'll check into all of that. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Hound_Dogg on Jan 22nd, 2003, 1:59pm Ami...Please go get some help. Get a Doctor that you trust and be honest with him/her. Benzodiazapines are very dangerous to go off of Cold Turkey. With the Percocets you'll just feel rotten, but the alprazolam can cause severe seizures when stopping cold turkey. This is a medical problem and needs to be treated as such. Your local dealer can not help you, only a Medical Professional. Good Luck Jim |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 22nd, 2003, 2:04pm Thanks. I'm seeking help. I appreciate your candor. I'll be honest with her. I have an appt on Feb. 17th. This makes sense b/c the last time I went off I had a mal seizure in the hospital thank god -- but I had one nonetheless. I guess all these drugs I've just gotten caught up in -- for pain -- but for now -- I should stay on them right -- until feb. 17th? I have no choice really... |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Elaine on Jan 22nd, 2003, 3:50pm All this pain med can cause you to hurt more did ya know that. I found years ago when I was on pain meds my attacks was worst because those pain meds made me tired and I was to tired to fight the devil. Now there are some things you can do before your doctors visit. Read this site print out things and give them to your doctor. When you get hit try some things we have when we did not have meds, and we have all been there and done things. Here are some things I have done. Cold helps the pain. Take a COLD shower. It works ! Use Ice on your head hold it there till it hurts more than the cluster. Turn your air conditioner on breath the cold air from the vents. If its cold where you are go outside. I been known to stand in the snow belive me you won't feel the cold it will feel good. Some here run in place do jumping jacks excerise seems to help. Bob P use to run. I know some to use hot sause under their toung don't ask ! Some have taken hot pepper and placed a little in the inside of their nose. There is a cream with it in it but I forgot the name of it. You can laugh but I saw this on the news one day. You take this cream put it on a q tip and put it in your nose, thak it from me you don't need a lot. After you get through ruunning all over your house yelling and cussing me for telling you this cause your nose is burning off, you might find the pain has ended in your head ;-)! ok People lets all tell some things that helped us when we did not have any meds!!! Now lay off that pain crap ! Get better , use the tools you have here educate your self so when you go to the doctor you can educate him. If your to shy to tell the doctor what you need read and print and let him read it. Good luck and feel free to email me! |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by fubar on Jan 22nd, 2003, 3:59pm ami, You need to start weaning yourself off of those meds now and you know it. It isn't rocket science... There are plenty of places that will help you detox and manage your pain through it all, while monitoring your vital signs for any problems. Stopping cold turkey can kill you, but every day you wait is doing more damage to your body. Your neuro appointment is important, but you need to consider being admitted right now for detox, and that will prepare you for managing the CHs (or whatever you have). These are tough decisions, and I know it's easier to just wait until the neuro appointment, but let's just take a look at what will happen, regardless. You're going to keep medicating yourself until the 17th, and when you meet the Dr., you'll basically have to tell the Dr. you are an addict and need help. This will immediately take precedence over the headache issue (as it should) and you won't even start to get help for the headaches. You simply must get yourself in a position to start doing something positive to help your headaches. The addiction problem will override or negate anything you do until it is solved. My point is, it's folly to wait until the 17th to start doing something. The neuro appointment will be wasted, and you'll be no closer to a solution. Obviously you need help and you need it right now, not on the 17th. Get yourself admitted. Tell them EXACTLY what you are addicted to, and tell them EXACTLY how much you take of what and how often. They have to know so they can properly take care of you as your body starts to revolt against the lack of drugs in your system. Do it right now. Call any substance abuse center or hospital, they can find you place to go and start recovering. Nobody should be living like you do. Get Help. -Fu |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 22nd, 2003, 4:06pm Thanks. that's so scary. I can't leave work for that long -- and I don't even know if I'd have a job when i got out. What personal rights do I have to privacy -- or would everyone here know I was addicted to meds? That would ruin me. I'm a producer and it just can't happen that way. I'm very much addicted and almost out of pain meds -- I'm starting to have panic attacks over it. I agree with you-- rationally - and know I should do something now -- I just don't know how -- go to an emergency room? They'll put me in the mental ward like they did last time -- I dont' want that. I felt like a lower class citizen and had no visitors. Who can I contact -- anonymously -- and is there something I can take on my own without the pain meds to get me off of them -- on my own perhaps? Am I fooling myself here? I'm in so much pain -- I can't see straight -- A friend told mea bout this website -- and I'm so glad I wrote -- b/c this is the most info I've ever received. I feel like no one understands me..and I'm slipping into deep depression/narcotic hypnosis --more and more every day. Now -- I'll take whatever I can get my hands on b/c i'm just so out of it. And I'm normally a very together person/professional -- it's just so strange how I got here. I don't remember getting here. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Margi on Jan 22nd, 2003, 4:14pm Wow, Fubar - AWESOME post, man!! Ami, listen to the advice here. A job is only a job - you need to address life threatening issues here. Please take that step and call someone for help. I'm betting the pieces of your life will quickly fall back into place once you start making a positive effort to recovery. Again, Fubar - you rock. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by fubar on Jan 22nd, 2003, 4:19pm ami, You've already taken step #1... admit you have a problem. Once that sinks in, you will make a decision to stay sick or get better REGARDLESS of the consequences. Do you understand what I mean? Let's say you choose to stay sick... not get the help you need. That means you will die. There is no other way out if you continue to let your addiction run your life... the only end is death. So, by extension, you are choosing death. Does that sound better than "feeling like a second class citizen"? I know how disgusting the recovery places can be. You are surrounded by other sick people with substance abuse issues as well as mental health issues. It sucks. But there isn't any magic unaddiction pill you can take my friend. You have to accept the fact you are going to either die an addict, or get help and start having a normal life again. Privacy is maintained. What you tell your employer is up to you. My advice would be to blame the whole absence on a horrible neurological condition. Any way you slice it, you are only making excuses to avoid the ugliness of dealing with the problem. What you are missing is the extreme ugliness of NOT dealing with it, death. -Fu |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Elaine on Jan 22nd, 2003, 4:33pm I can tell you about clusters and what works for me but I don't know how to help you with getting off druggs. I have had to ask for help for other problems in my life. I am glad I did! I found a site you might want to check out! http://www.thehelpline.net/counselors.html If I can help in any way email me ! |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Jimi on Jan 22nd, 2003, 4:45pm I gotta go along with Fubar on this one. If you are respected in your field and have a good relationship with your boss, or if you are a boss, with your co-workers, go to him/her and tell them that you have found yourself becoming addicted to pain medication. You can say it started with pain in your knee, lower back, anything that you can think of that may apply. Tell them you are to the point that you have to get off and all that you have read indicated that it is dangerous to go cold turkey. Most insurance's pay much of the cost for drug dependence therapy. If they are any kind of company, they will understand and help you. This problem is fairly wide spread and happens to many people. If you buy your drugs illegally and get caught, I guarantee you will be sent to a rehab, court appointed and your supervisors will be much less understanding. You came to THIS place seeking advice. I don't think it was an accident that you did. But you have to make the giant leap of getting the ball rolling for yourself and put behind you the worrying of what people will think. Remember, you were not lead here by accident. take advantage of this gift that has been given to you. We don't mean to sound tough, but I know you are not thinking all that straight now and many, here, have been there. Schedule that meeting with your boss tomorrow. This will work out. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by fubar on Jan 22nd, 2003, 5:05pm ami, I'm sorry if I sound harsh... I really do know what you are dealing with. I am married to an addict. Her substance(s) of choice are mainly alcohol and xanax, but addiction is a lifestyle and she will abuse anything that produces a change in reality... We have dealt with all of the issues you are worried about... the embarassment, the disgusting rehabs, the marital discord, the employment issues... all of it. There was a point when I didn't believe she would ever EVER be in a healthy state again. Well, after years of dealing with it (it's a lifetime problem) she is really doing well now. She has learned to ignore what other people might think, and is actually proud to be a recovering addict. She should be... it's hard work. You are young and maybe you will live through this, but you have to know it is a deadly situation. You simply MUST get help and get it now. I can't stress enough... there is no way in hell you're going to win this battle in private. You can do it on your terms, or you can do it on the governments terms if you get caught buying illegal drugs, or most likely you will be dealing with it on your undertaker's terms. I know that sounds like hyperbole... it isn't. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make some calls. Call your insurance company. They will, believe it or not, actually help you find the right place and get you started. This is more common than you realize, mostly because many people DO manage to keep it private. Please, just start making the phone calls. You seem intelligent and not like the average junkie, but you exhibit the very typical sensational ability to justify NOT seeking help. Just fucking do it. Please. You are so young, you have a lot of life to live and you should be living it, not medicating yourself to death. -Fu |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by kissmyglass on Jan 22nd, 2003, 5:51pm Ami, Fu is right on the money....read his posts & Follow them... It's your only hope.. Good Luck! Kev C |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by 2late on Jan 22nd, 2003, 6:12pm take fu's advice & get clean (i know it's easier said than done) but i've been there,my first wife left me cause of drug abuse, today everything comes a little easier for me. you need to have your life in order to deal with this, you'll find a neuro that know's his shit & get you on the right med program & you can have a good quality of life with this, but not until you have a clear head. good luck to you! ..........2late |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Hunny on Jan 22nd, 2003, 7:50pm Ami I know you're really worried right now about what everyone is going to think about you. Everyone that matters is going to think you're amazingly strong for being able to face your problem and do something about it. Detox isn't fun but it's better in a controlled situation that you have chosen than in a jail cell. Please don't buy drugs on the street. You're not even going to be able to know what you're really getting. those drugs alone may kill you. There are people here that really care and understand the place you're in right now. It seems like an impossible decision to make so break it down to easy pieces. Do you want to stop hurting? The meds you're mixing may be causing a lot of the pain. Do you want to get advice and help from people who know what they're doing? That's the folks that work in detox, they see this all the time, they know what to do to make you feel better. Do you want to make your own decisions or do you want to be "in the system"? YOU decide what you're going to do and then do it. It may not be a fun place to go but face it, are you having fun now? Is life good? It wasn't easy getting to where you are and it won't be easy getting better either but you can do it if you want. It's a decision you have to make. Getting out of pain and getting out of danger should be your #1 priority. You can help yourself. Your are strong enough to find your own way out of this. You aren't the only one this has happended to and if you're a producer that means that you are creative, and enterprising and strong and a lot of people weaker than you have made it and you will too. It may seem hopeless now but try to concentrate on how great it's gonna be when you can come back on this web site and tell us all how much better you feel. We are all in your corner, we care. You're the only one that can take the step toward getting help but we're all going to be thinking about you and wishing you well. Let us know. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Charlie on Jan 22nd, 2003, 9:30pm Welcome. You're among people here who really do understand your pain. You might want to show others some printouts from here. I agree with the whole goofy bunch here. Somewhere along the line when you can concentrate, you might give my old neurologist's thing a try. Here it is: Dr. Wright's Circulatory Technique This is not transcendental meditation, imagery, relaxation, or anything psychic. It's entirely physical and takes a lot of work and concentration. Give this method a good workout. It’s not a miracle, but it’s been helpful to many. When I was diagnosed, my neurologist said to treat this as a vascular problem. I was told to concentrate on “redirecting” blood circulation in order to retard flow to the head. This is done by trying to “send” blood into the arms and hands or other extremities. When properly done, your hands will become warm and redder with increased circulation. I also found it easier to concentrate on one hand. This relieves just slightly, the pressure on the affected vessel, which indirectly causes our pain. We all have this ability but it can be exhausting. I was often able shorten my attacks from about half an hour to no more than a few minutes. Sometimes, when awake, I could entirely abort the attack IF I KEPT AT IT. Often, I would suffer only minor discomfort instead of excruciating pain. Do not stop just because your hands are warm or redder. Keep this up until you are sure it's subsided. If you let up or lose concentration, it’s very hard to restart this process. It may take some time but when this works, the relief is almost immediate. I learned this from the doctor in a few minutes. He simply told me to try to keep blood away from the head. He thought it easiest to concentrate on the arms and hands but any place that works for you is fine. He said to think of it as "filling your hands" with redirected blood. It’s important to keep at it THROUGH the pain. This will be difficult, but it’s the only way this technique will work. Don’t let up until you are sure the attack has ended. This will not always work, but I think it will always have at least some effect on the severity and duration of the attacks. It can be useful between medications or while waiting for some other drug to take effect. All it takes is a little practice. It was fairly easy to learn and what I'm writing here is more than I got from the doctor, as I've drawn from my own experience. When awakened in horrible pain, it’s very hard to focus, but I think it’s always worth a try. This costs nothing but hard work, is harmless, non-invasive, and it gives us a fighting chance. I wish you the best of luck - Charlie Strand |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by cootie on Jan 22nd, 2003, 11:37pm ami you NEED ta stand up and take charge of ye 'life'....this is no way ta live and dealin with the meds yer on runnin out isn't an answer to your REAL pain !! Do they even really work for the pain tho ? I think it's a serious enuff condition ya have that the work place should understand.....ya gotta try and understand what is goin on yerself first...and how ta go bout the change in a safe way...and get on a treatment that really works....and find a doc that will really help you. I'd say the oxygen deal is a good route fer starters....I know alot of people that have never gotten out of the drug or alchohol rut....there jus gettin nowhere fast that's all. They have nothing !! Respect yerself.....do it......yer not gettin anywhere this way. Good luck to ya......Pam |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by woobie on Jan 23rd, 2003, 1:23am AMI. Sorry you are having a rough time! Listen to Fubar. .. he is wise! as for the job thing FMLA = Family Medical Leave Act They have to give you time off for medical reasons, and yours is a medical issue. You mayor may not have to tell them WHY, but who cares? They have to respect your privacy, or you can sue.. it's that simple. I think your life is more important than the job right now anyway. If you have no life, you cannot work. Just my thoughts. I hope you get some relief quickly.. and I wish you strength. It's gonna be hard.. but it's worth it all! Tina :-* |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by BobG on Jan 23rd, 2003, 7:39am Please listen to what everyone has been saying. Maybe clicking on these will help you find help. From the OUCH site and earlier posts Disability claims http://www.clusterheadaches.org/resources/dis.htm dealing with employer http://www.clusterheadaches.org/resources/emp.htm Simon (OUCH UK) letter to employers and colleagues http://www.ouch-uk.org/ch/note_colleagues.cfm insurance help http://www.clusterheadaches.org/resources/ins.htm Social Security disability http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/10029.html#Part%202 disability laws http://www.migraines.org/disability/disabcdl.htm |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by fubar on Jan 24th, 2003, 1:16pm ami, Are you still with us? We can help you. Please don't give up. -Fu |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 27th, 2003, 10:39am Hey -- Thanks to all of you for your responses. They have been alarming, educational, heartwarming, and intense -- all at the same time. I am listening. I had my boss take me to a hospital on Friday after missing Thursday/Friday of work due to pain. I went to ER and was accepted immediately. But they again -- referred me to another neurologist -- hopefully to get in faster with a hospital referral -- but still 5-7 days. They saw how much pain I was in -- and despite all the narcotics I told them I was taking -- they gave me an injection of Toridol -- and sent me home with Oxycodone pills -- and told me to double the dosage until I see the neurologist. I feel like I'm worse than I was before. I thought sure they'd admit me there for drug addiction -- and get me the help I needed -- but they did not. I guess I could've asked them to -- but my boss drove me there -- and I did come clean about all the meds I was on -- and how they weren't working -- and what should I do? -- All in front of him -- and they still just gave me the shot and pills and sent me on my way. I've been throwing up all night b/c I've taken so many of these pills that I can't keep them down.. and they don't work. I'm at work today -- but just barely. I almost passed out in my breakfast this morning at Denny's. It scares me b/c it just crept up on me and I felt myself falling forward into my grilled cheese -- like all of a sudden. I'm not myself. I know I should check into rehab places and I'll do that today. I also need to check on neuro appt today.. hopefully 5 days -- maybe then I can come clean with Dr. Wilson and ask her what she suggests.. maybe she will suggest a rehab as well? -- I'm just so scared and going through this alone. I was already in rehab once before -- when I went to ER -- my last neurologist had put me on Paxil -- which did NOTHING for my problem -- and I stopped taking it. 30mg to nothing.. it sent me through the roof. They admitted me right away -- and all they wanted to do was to keep me on paxil. I finally "weened" off of it -- but they doctor i followed up with still wanted me on it -- I just don't get that! So anyway -- I was drug free -- and then the headaches came back -- in about a month. Now here I am again. I do not have an addictive personality -- and I'm strong enough to stop whatever or do wahtever needs to be done -- I just can't stop this pain.. and that's the frustrating part for me.. Thanks again for all your support -- it means so much to me right now. -- ami |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by fubar on Jan 27th, 2003, 12:53pm ami, Please please please just get yourself into a controlled environment where the people taking care of you know everything they are dealing with. It sounds like your boss will need no more convincing that this situation is bad and needs to be fixed, and it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Surely he can see the pain and suffering, and how the hospitals are all too willing to pump you full of more narcotics to get you out of their hair. Every day you wait is costing you. This family will be here for you whenever you need us, but you gotsta get help right now. We want nothing but pain-free days for you and we can help you get there, but YOU have to make the right move first. Get yourself into a rehab... start making calls and look for an opening. Once you are in, you can deal with the whole problem, not just the symptoms. When you get out, we will be here to enjoy your new life with you. Do it now! -Fu |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 27th, 2003, 1:00pm I'm so scared. I am just so scared. I feel like I'll lose my job -- my everything.. my credibility.. But I was online reading all about oxycodone this morning and how horrible it is for you.. and I've take so many of these -- I promise I'll look into this further today and tomorrow. I'd like to do it through my physician Dr. Wilson if possible.. so that it looks like I was admitted AFTER I went to the doctor -- everyone here knows i've been trying to get into a doctor and can't get an appt. they know i was at the hospital a few days ago -- but they don't know anything about the drugs, etc. -- except of course -- my immediate boss. I called today and am trying to get in this week if I can. Do you think that would be the best thing -- considering all of my factors? |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by cootie on Jan 27th, 2003, 1:08pm ami.....print info out off this site ta take to yer nero appt.....hopefully they'll be aware of the disease but try and be a bit inform'd bafore ya go with some info on treatments and advice what 'may' work for ya ta try esp oxygen. That codine crap makes lotta people sick....makes me peuk big time.....it's not workin and sounds like all the meds are createin other problems fer ya with drousyness and all. Don't get lost in all this where meds are causein more symtoms then ya need...hopefully yer nero will be a good start for ya and get ya pointed in the rite direction even if it is a few days wait.....round here it's months !!! Good luck.....let us all know how it went !!!!! Pam |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by fubar on Jan 27th, 2003, 1:17pm ami, I know you are scared. To be honest, we are scared for you too. Until you are getting treatment for ALL of your problems, you are really in danger of losing it all. You say you're scared of losing your job, your credibility, your dignity. Don't you realize that you have the opportunity to keep all of that and be an even better person than before? What do you think will happen if you try to continue working as an addict and a pain sufferer? Nothing but bad things will happen. If you get help, you'll gain a grip on everything and be far more effective at your job and relations. Look, it sounds like your boss is on board. Nobody is going to know any more than you tell them. Doctor-patient communication is protected. You haven't been arrested for drug violations (yet). You are firmly in control at this point, why let this chance pass you by? Take action now, get in a facility as soon as possible and start on the road to recovery. You clearly want to, and your fears, while justified, are the same fears that any addict can use to justify staying away from treatment. Please stop falling into that trap. -Fu |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by catlind on Jan 27th, 2003, 1:27pm Ami, Hun, I spent nearly 2 years on Tylox (oxycodone). I couldn't take immitrex or other triptans because of my heart, and all it served to do was depress me and cause rebound headaches. This last cycle, when it started, it was very mild, and the doc gave me Tylox again. I went full blown in 2 days. We sat down and talked about it, and I brought in a few articles about the addictiveness of oxycontin/oxycodone , it's as addictive as heroin, and we both agreed it was no longer a drug to be included in my treatment, not just because of the nature of the drug, but because we both agreed that it probably triggered the full blown CH's. I still don't have a viable treatment plan and I am relying on O2 and hydrocodone until I can get to Walter Reed where I can see a CH specialist to find a viable treatment plan. YOu are scared, I understand that fear. Remember that your judgement and mental and emotional state is GREATLY altered under the influence of narcotics. You are not a run of the mill street druggy, remember that, you are in trouble with prescribed medications to treat a condition you are afflicted with. Those medications have been prescribed by uninformed practitioners. Once you see a neuro, and arm yourself with info from this site, you will be able to get on track with a treatment program that will lead you to a narcotic free life. You will need help getting off these meds, don't kid yourself, oxycodone and many other codeine component narcotics are classed as addictive as heroin. Get the help you need, and try to remember that the drugs are playing into your fear and your state of mind. We are all here for you, and won't judge you. We just want you to get better and get the RIGHT treatment plan. as a side note, toradol is not a narcotic, it's an NSAID, non addictive, and generally not effective. Cat |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 29th, 2003, 4:10pm What is Walter Reed? Is this a place I should go? I'm very concerned and made an appt with my regular doctor for tomorrow just to 'talk.' -- I don't have a neuro appt until feb. 17th-- but I'm getting low on oxycodones and i'm starting to get scared again.. the pain is still here -- and i've been suffering through it with no pain killers or anything-- trying to suppress the narcotics.. but i'm getting weaker -- it's driving me insane.. and i just can't miss any more work.. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by firebrix on Jan 29th, 2003, 4:48pm OK ami I see you are getting pretty desperate. You are not alone - many CHers feel as you do at times. Fubar has given you the best advice re your opiate habit or dependency; I cannot add to that, but want to suggest that when you see your GP tomorrow, you ask for oxygen with a non rebreather mask. There's heaps of info on this site about its use. The special mask is a must-have! I know it may seem unlikely that O2 can help these ghastly headaches but it does. I'm hoping that used properly, the O2 will abort your headaches and you'll be able to detox completely from the opiates and other drugs you no longer wish to use. At best, these drugs make you feel better about CH - they do little for the actual headaches, altho' there are people on the site who use them for brief intervals. We all want to help you, ami. Contact me if I can be of any assistance. Get the OXYGEN! Try it! It may just be your answer to the immediate problem. Will keep you in our thoughts and hope your day improves firebrix |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Mark C on Jan 29th, 2003, 5:23pm Welcome Ami, Fubar is right on the money....again. Take it from someone who has been down the road to recovery.....You cant save face and your ass at the same time! Good luck, Mark |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 30th, 2003, 9:31am Thanks for the info firebrix and markc.. it's really helpful. fubar you've been amazing -- everyone -- thanks so much. it's great to have someone (or more than one) to talk to about this without feeling extremely ashamed or embarrassed. I am with this around friends and family and co-workers b/c they quite frankly just don't understand the severity at all. I look like a hypochondriac.. if i spelled that right! I have decided to take on a new diet -- upon a referral of another doctor friend of mine. No processed foods, no caffeine, no chocolate, no alcohol -- for six weeks and see if I can isolate my triggers. During these six weeks -- I'm going to not take any narcotic pain killers. It's been two days -- I know - that doesn't seem like much -- but it's been two days and it's been tough -- no sleep -- aching pain -- but I'm making it happen. I'm strong enough to do this. I'm drinking de-caf coffee now -- eating grapes for breakfast -- and have an appt today with my doc at 1:25pm.. so I'll definitely ask about oxygen. Thank you again -- all of you -- it's truly so helpful -- you just will never know how helpful. I hope that I too can assist someone in this way on this site in the future. My good friend Scott told me about this site -- we started talkign one day over dinner and I mentioned I thought I had cluster headaches -- and he told me he has them -- and said this site did wonders for him.. giving him a space to talk -- and feel like he wasn't "alone" -- and it truly has been wonderful... I'm feeling strong today -- I think I can get through this... -ami |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by Tony_M on Jan 30th, 2003, 9:53am 6 months ago I was in the exact same situation as you. I was having a terrible time and my regular neurologist would not give me a quicker appointment. So I found another one. The appointment was still two weeks away so I called his office and talked to him. He said I should go on oxygen but he couldn't prescribe it until he saw me. So, he called my regular doctor who actually wrote out the script and by the next day I had my bottle and some relief. Try it. If they won't do it, just buy it yourself at the welding supply. |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by fubar on Jan 31st, 2003, 11:21am ami, It's great to hear you sounding up beat and I hope things are still going well for you this far. I am worried about you though. This notion that you can do this on your own, without the necessary medical help to get your body clean first, is a CLASSIC trap that addicts fall into. You are smart. Only you can know if you are lying to yourself. Even when you feel strong, you have to know by now, addiction is strong too. More offten than not, addiction is stronger than the person. These periods of 'strength' are simply crests in a non-stop onslaught of waves in your roller-coaster ride. I hope you're able to get off this ride soon. One suggestion... if you really are feeling strong, use that strength to begin some private counseling and treatment. Call it insurance against a relapse, whatever. Please, get help. Maybe you can lick this by yourself, but why take the chance? -Fu |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by ami on Jan 31st, 2003, 11:30am Hey Fu -- thanks so much for all your insight. I am feeling a little better. Still having the headaches.. but they've changed a little. They're like moving around my head now -- with different pings and pain swords almost.. it's so strange. My doctor put me on neurontin yesterday -- and it makes my neck and body feel really hot and tingly -- Parts of my head feel weirdly numb and other parts the pain increased a bit -- It's very strange. But I'm giving it a try for three weeks. I've also changed my diet and I'm DYING without my caffeine you must know! I'm a coffee-aholic...but I'm doing it. I am very strong when it comes to things like this -- I've just been through a little hell. I will talk to a therapist and I'm also seeking accupuncture. I'm taking all angles and thanks for reminding me about copping yourself out -- I do that alot. I'm good at it apparently. I got topamax, neurontin and depakote from my doc yesterday -- she wants me to try each for 3 weeks and see what happens.. then i have neuro on feb. 17. until then.. i'm just at the whim of these meds -- hoping they work. i haven't had pain meds -- and i'm feeling okay about it so far. no sleep..shaky -- but i'm making it. i know i probably need more help -- but I really think I can do this. I've thrown everything out -- as far as pain meds are concerned..and I'm trying to add in positive things to my life again -- but it's very difficult w/ the pain still present, ie. working out -- just not a possibility. I'm too irritable and pounding would just not work at all! but walking is okay.. like the dog -- and taking walks on the beach.. damn.. i'm having such a bad one right now -- i just feel like i'm gonna pass out. it's making me crazy. gotta meet a friend for lunch. thanks so much for all your writings and insight -- you have been such a help to me! -- do you know anything about the meds i'm on.. any advice there? -- should i seek out non-narcotic pain meds to assist with my current pain -- or just deal with it? -- i just don't know what to do.. really -- it seems that docs don't really care -- they just give me something to get me out of the office again.. i look and feel sometimes like a freak! -- i guess you've all probably been there right? -- talk soon -- thanks again.. -ami |
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Title: Re: New to This -- Need Advice. Addicted to Narcot Post by das on Feb 2nd, 2003, 9:33am I know you are having struggles with the meds, but shrooms may work... I know they don't do it for everyone, but they aren't addictive and they aren't man made and they work for me. Why doesn't someone who lives near you refer you to a doctor that they know knows about CHs? Don't waste your time whith Doctors that don't know enough or anything about CHs. My first neuro sure seemed like he knew, but he knew jack in retrospect. Luckily for me, there is a clinic here that specializes in CH!! They also treat migraines, but if you call in and tell them you are suffering, they will bring you in with no appointment and pretty much bump all the non CHs patients to make room for the CH people. You need to find a doc like this. Good Luck. |
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